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Starting School and Social Skills

3 replies

chimphead · 05/03/2012 18:11

My DS just 4, has been giving me cause for concern over the past few years especially with his social skills. He also has sensory issues, food, noise and clothes. And is slow with his gross and fine motor skills. He looks( to me )to be behind his peers in many aspects especially socially. He will not go to parties, he likes soft play but as long as no one else is there, as soon as it gets busy he wants to leave. He does not iniate play with other children, either with children he knows already or other children in play places. This is also the same at parks, swimming baths etc. DS seems lost and will shout out random stupid words like pumpy and sausages, it?s as if he does not know what to do. He is friendly with adults and can talk for England to any adult.
At home he prefers for me to play with him and finds it difficult to keep himself occupied for any length of time. He is easily distracted and moves from one project to the next and never finishes. He has never sat for longer than 5 mins watching anything on TV, unless its his one of two fave programs. He also gets focused on detail rather than listening to the whole picture, especially in books. Yet refuses to do jigsaws or anything that needs effort.
He is quite well behaved and is not prone to tantrums however he can get stuck in his ways and get upset about things very easily. He will do anything to avoid some situations by lying or stressing
He is at nursery 5 mornings a week, and according to them he is doing ok. Feedback from them is that he strong willed and has some fine motor issues. And that he plays quite well with others.
My problem is, that I am worried that if he does not get into his first choice or second choice school (which is highly likely even though we live less than 0.45 miles from either) that is going to be left floundering at this 3rd choice school due to his lack of social skills.
This school is a good school, but does not do as well academically as the other two, he will not know anyone there at all and many (70%) apparently don?t have English as their first language.
I was wondering do people think that having the majority of his peers not speaking English as a first language. Will it be disadvantageous to him in a social context, what about play dates. How do the children communicate with each other. I know that they will all learn eventually, but how long does it take.
Also does my DS problems warrant cause for concern.
I was diagnosed with dyslexia 18 years ago, although I think my problems are APD related. I find social communication very stressful. Also trying to express myself via typing is very stressful and complicated. I have no idea if what I have written makes any sense.
Thanks for getting this far, hope it makes some sort of sense.I would be grateful for anyones help and advice

OP posts:
only4tonight · 05/03/2012 18:37

You are worrying too far ahead of time. See what happens with school allocations and take it from there.

You are describing some asd symptoms but at this stage it could be a personality thing and he may suddenly spring into his own. Keep communication lines open with the nursery and school and if you see the need to push for an assessment then push for it. most importantly GIVE YOURSELF BREAK.

wasuup3000 · 05/03/2012 18:50

I think you should go to the GP and ask for a refferal to a paediatrician. It is never too early if you have concerns to get your child assessed.

chimphead · 05/03/2012 19:58

Hi thanks for replies.
I spoke to GP today and she told me to make an appointment to see her, with report from nursery and a list of my concerns.

I always seem to be more concerned when I have met up with my friends that I made at local children centre just after DS was born. I cant help noticing how different DS seems. (we all have sons the same age)
It was his birthday party the other day, and he refused to join on or play with any of his friends. I had invited a couple from nursery too.
He did not even blow out his candles or have happy birthday sang to him, as it upsets him.
I just feel sad for him I would love to see him run around chasing other children or interacting, but to be honest he does not care. He is happy as long as I dont push him

I just dont wont to go down the same route as my mum did with me.

I was exactly the same as him at his age and older, I hated parties. Hated school. My mum had to send me to a private school where in the end I was somewhat happy.

My mum was told I was shy and that is what his teachers say. But I was shy with adults, where DS is not.

I know I could be worrying over nothing, but I want to help him overcome his fears as much as possible.

Thanks again

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