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DS attacked his best friend today

8 replies

jenk1 · 28/01/2006 22:40

they were in DS bedroom and he was playing a game on his playstation 2 i was in the bathroom and heard DS screaming hysterically and his friend ran downstairs and down the street crying.

I asked DS what he had done and he was crying and saying "he kept annoying me"

So i went down to J,s house and knocked on the door and J,s dad answered with his arms folded and i said "is J ok?" he said "j says that DS attacked him" i asked to speak to J and he said that DS grabbed him by his head,pulled his hair and punched him.

I knew that J was telling the truth the poor little lad was crying his eyes out, i said to J,s dad "DS says that J was making him angry im not using this as an excuse in any way, i will punish DS and i can only apologise for what he,s done"
J,s dad thanked me for coming round.

When i got home i asked DS had he done this to J and he said "yes because he was annoying me"
Me- "what did he do to annoy you?"
DS- "talk while i was trying to concentrate on the game-he knows i dont like it"

He refused to discuss it further, i know that he is very anxious and stressed out with whats going on but im not having him do that to J so as a punishment he is not allowed on his playstation for the next few days.

Hes never done this before and i dont know if ive handled it correctly, just wanted to offload ans see what methods you use for disciplining children with ASD.

OP posts:
QE2 · 28/01/2006 22:46

jenk, I have no experience of asd but ds2 does have problems with controlling his temper and lashing out at people. Only a few days ago he deliberately kicked another boy in the face knocking out his tooth. I know that sinking feeling when you realise that your child has a propensity to violently lashing out, asd or otherwise.

I think banning the playstation for a while is a good idea. How would a face to face apology from your son go down do you think?

sylvm · 28/01/2006 22:48

Just wanted to sympathise Jenk. It is such a difficult situation to be in. I think you do have to show your son that this behaviour is unacceptable to you (and other people). I also feel that if he is anything like my DD it has no impact whatsoever. I have not yet discovered a way to effectively punish her for episodes like yours. Are your son's friend's family aware of his ASD - it might be worth popping round again when things are calmer (perhaps with some written info that could explain things). This will show that your son is not just a bully but genuinely has a different perspective on things because he has ASD. Hope it works out.

getbakainyourjimjams · 28/01/2006 22:48

I'm no expert on HFA/AS, but my gut reaction would be to teach him an alternative reaction. So something like ", if you feel like doing that again then walk away and come and find me and use codeword X". That might be too complicated, but some sort of alternative, reinforced in a social story??? If you just say don;t do it, he might not know what to do instead.

jenk1 · 28/01/2006 22:58

these are 3 really nice suggestions-thanks

i really like the idea of using a code word and i am going to ask him to apologist to J tomorrow, he is adamant that it is J,s fault and that he has done nothing wrong but J is a really really nice boy and the only one who has time for DS when all the other kids dont.

OP posts:
jenk1 · 29/01/2006 14:27

I spoke to DS this morning and told him that he had really upset J. He said he would write him an apology so he did he said he was really sorry, it would never happen again and he hoped they could be freinds.

About half an hour ago the note was pushed through the door, on it was written in J,s writing NO-PROBLAMO!!!

J has just knocked at the door and they are playing outside my house pheww, im glad he has made friends with J, DS is genuinely sorry and said he doesnt know why he did it.

OP posts:
Celia2 · 29/01/2006 18:49

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jenk1 · 29/01/2006 18:52

yes he does, he gets hysterical if he cant "do a level" and screams if anyone tries to talk to him while he.s playing on it.
think thats what J did yesterday when the incident happened.

I too used to think that DS was the highly sensitive child i remember reading the book and seeing the bit on Aspergers and thinking Hmmm, well he has just had the ADOS assessment last Thursday and we are awaiting the results.

OP posts:
Celia2 · 29/01/2006 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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