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Advice post assault

8 replies

bochead · 27/02/2012 14:32

Yesterday my lad was attacked by 2 girls. He had his shoes and coat removed, was thrown to the floor & kicked a couple of times in the head before I arrived to scare off his attackers (aged about 11ish?).

He's fine, apart from a few scratches and has told the police what the girls looked like.

In his eyes the police will deal with it, so job done. He seems satisfied wth that and happy at school today.

He was left unattended but within my earshot with a group of nice friends for a max 10 mins, while I went to make some sarnies to eat in the sunshine. It was the playground on my estate and when I left he was with a very nice group of neighbours aged from 4 - 11. They've all known each other from birth and get on really well. His attackers aren't "local".

It's me that's left with issues!

I'm trying to give him a bit more independence, like his peers, but am now scared to let him out of my sight for an instant. How do you not smother them iykwim?

It was roughly this time last year that his old HT tried to strangle him and left him feeling suicidal and both of us stuck in a nightmare with the authorities that took months to resolve. I had to go to a private charity to get him help for the mental scarring of the whole experience, as Cahms were keener on blaming me for being a bad parent than acknowledging he has special needs or helping him in any way. (In total they've blocked 4 asd assessment referrals over the years and blocked 3 tertiary referrals to GOSH last year).

I've got the community police coming round to our home later this week, and am dreading the beginnings of another round of "meetings", just when I thought we were past all that. I also told CAHMS to get to fook, (a bit more diplomatically) yet they are still mentioned in DS's statement & I'm worried this will be the perfect lever for them to wiggle their way back in and wreck everything just when school is finally going so well generally.

Any advice?

OP posts:
detoxneedednow · 27/02/2012 15:19

bochead, I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you and of course your son. What an awful thing to happen. What disgusting girls!. I'm sure someone will be along soon to give you some proper advice, but didn't want to read and run.

Best of luck to you both>

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 27/02/2012 16:56

Oh no, bochead! Your poor DS. I'm afraid I don't have any experience, but I really hope this doesn't cause you more hassle from the powers that be. Sad Bumping for you.

StarlightDicKenzie · 27/02/2012 17:07

I'm sorry. I have absolutely no experience of this as a parent.

I think though that it is a fairly 'common' thing amongst this age group. Certainly was where I grew up.

It must be hard to work out whether the SEN attracted the violence or whether it was just opportune. Do you know?

It sounds as if he may have handled his own emotions wrt it and you should be proud of how far he has come. Do the police have any hope of catching them?

WetAugust · 27/02/2012 17:11

Truly sorry to hear about the attack your DS's was subjected to. It's vile that people can do this to the vulnerable. Unfortunately DS ASD suffered several attacks like this during his teens.

When NT son was attacked by kid of about 15, the Community Police constable visited the thug and made it very clear to him that if he did anything like this again he would have this incident to answer for as well as the future one (if that makes sense). It did the trick.

You'll get a call from Victim Support - that's automatic.

(In total they've blocked 4 asd assessment referrals over the years and blocked 3 tertiary referrals to GOSH last year).

Wow! I find that very troubling. Is there no way to get around this? MP complaint perhaps?

coff33pot · 27/02/2012 18:45

awww bochead :( DD has been beaten badly 3 times on way home from swimming and from school and in school not because of sn but because she is tiny. The child in question has SN, its obvious and she has severe anger issues and hits out violently with anything in her hands. DD has even been smashed over the head with a metal scooter, has her clothes ripped off and thrown in stinging nettles its horrible but unfortunately the mother is in a bubble which is so sad for the girl. The girl actually told the truth in the end to her mother with DD with her but her mother STILL didnt accept the fact that her DD could have done it!

Anyhow I know the frustration and anger you feel is horrible!

coff33pot · 27/02/2012 18:49

After it happening 3 times and then she had her face smashed into a water fountain I did call the police. A community officer called and then went to speak to the girl and parents. But it took 6 weeks for them to do anything, had a chat and was told to report any more incidences. So far so good

bochead · 27/02/2012 19:15

re cahms - been to MP twice = chocolate teapot. I've made it very clear I want nothing further to do with them and accepted the black mark against my name for it. (bovvered? am I bovvered tho?). I have the paper trail and am more than happy to use it Wink so long as they stay the hell away from me & mine and do no further damage.

OP posts:
WetAugust · 27/02/2012 19:42

Lol @ Bochead. I thought CAMHS were crap too!

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