How do I counter school saying they will send ds home as soon as he says he's not well?

[Iceflower]

ds (9, AS) regularly says he's unwell so as to go home . I think this is just anxiety-driven avoidant behaviour, and school has so far been ignoring these moans. However last week, as other family members had been unwell, I warned a TA that if he said he was unwell, there might be some truth in it. The CT paid no attention to his cries of being unwell and he was so distressed he was in meltdown and swore at the CT. Once home, I found he had a very high temperature and highly distressed.

Today I took him to school to be told that from now on, if ds says he's unwell, he will be sent straight home . Surely this is the road to disaster, ie more claims of ill health, school refusal, etc.

What can I say to school?

Tricky one. School obviously received the brunt of your DS meltdown because he was ill and want to avoid another incident like it which is understandable but at the same time you are right that it wont do your DS any favours in the long run as he could well work it out if he cries ill he gets to go home.

I would email them politely so you can get your point accross fully without being interupted or anyone saying the wrong thing. Then tell the school that you have sent an email with your views on the subject and please could they get back to you.

Most schools have a sick room/quiet area that they send kids too to test out the water of weather they are ill enough to go home.

Explain that DS often uses "I feel ill" when he is anxious at hom if he wants to avoid something or upset about something and that you feel that he will use this method of getting home if his school day isnt going to well. Try asking them if they could send him to a quiet area first so he can relax and calm down then maybe they may find out whats bothering him. If after 20 mins he is still adamant he is ill then by all means send him home.

Give em one of those forehead thermometers they use on babies. If he has a temp, is vomitting or the runs call you, if not he stays. These are people trained to work with kids - tell them you have faith in their professional ability to tell the difference between a kid that's blagging it and an ill child.

www.mothercare.com/Mothercare-Forehead-Thermometer/dp/B0011F1AUM
Describe it to the school as a visual aid for behavior management

Do put it writing so they can't twist your words to suit their own convenience.

Thank you, coff33pot and bochead. I have sent the email , let's see what happens next.

bochead like the visual aid line , pity the thermometer is out of stock online. The one in Boots isn't nearly as visually striking.

pmsl bochead

Sorry, I used the mothercare one and didn't think to check stock.

www.hyperdrug.co.uk/Mr-Sneeze-Forehead-Thermometer/productinfo/THERMHEAD/ This Mr Sneeze one would be good. I've saw it onsale in Superdrug last year when I bought one for a friend.

www.toysrus.co.uk/Babies-R-Us/Bathing/Essential-Medical/Babies-R-Us-Forehead-Thermometer(0029135).

It's a cheeky approach I know, but it works so long as you can get a TA with a sense of humour.