Anxiety when getting feet measured

[AprilSkies]

DS just goes into meltdown at getting his feet measured, cries when we enter the shoe shop. He also despises hair cutting, nail cutting, head measuring, weighing, stethoscopes and generally any examination.

Any tips? He screamed so much in clarks at the weekend that the woman almost refused to measure his feet and to top it all off, they hadn't changed since 3 months ago! :(

By the way, I have tried offering things he loves to calm him, he just freaks out and goes ballistic. He's getting stronger and worried he will bethe same when he is older if we dont help him.

The only thing I can think of is getting one of those feet measuring things and playing at home, guess I have to do the same for head measuring and weighing.

My approach (prob not the best one but what eventually worked for us - it took years btw & you have to maintain the routines once established to avoid regression).

draw round his feet at home to make a paper template. take paper template into shop to be measured. You'll already know whether you kid has flat feet or a high instep & what styles they prefer. Pick one or 2 brands that suit their feet and stick with them until they are discontinued by the manufacturer.

Take a gradual approach to hair cutting and use scissors not clippers explain everything and be prepared for it to take a week of 5 min bursts to complete the whole head. Do it yourself OR get the same trusted barber to do it every time so you establish a routine. Gradually build up the time actually cutting the hair over time till you can do the whole head in one sitting by a trusted person.

Dentists - find one that has a screen that can be viewed from a chair. Make sure the dentist explans every single step. Go every month for a 5 min "open wide" with no treatment until child is used to the routine (choose to be the last appointment of the day to avoid anxiety building in the waiting room). When tantrums subside continue 5 min open wide with no treatment every 3 months, interspersed with the proper examinations so that you don't lose the "routine" of it.

Go to the doctors. Sit in the waiting room. walk out with child. Go to the doctors, say hello to the receptionist, walk out. Go to the doctors, say hello to the receptionist, say hello to the doctor (or HV in an examination room, walk out. Repeat untl he can spend 5 mins chatting to the HV, until he can examine the stethescope himself. Until he'll tolerate the stethescope.

Throughout all these use whatever advance warnings, visual aids etc you have to in order to establish the routines and keep a diary. While keeping a diary you'll gradually notice a pattern of sensory issues cropping up. Once you know what they are you can plan what the hell to do to mitigate them.

I always try to go in when I know it's going to be quiet. I always use the same shop and the same girl to fit his shoes. I tend to ring ahead to make an appointment with her, and pick a time when its quiet. I also tend to just get him fitted and leave his siblings for a different time. The other thing I do is make use of distractors. Portable DVD player, iPad, snacks and a drink. I also make sure that he knows where we are going. I use the same thing with the hairdresser, and I take in a car seat booster so that he's high enough in the chair.
Cutting nails, never a favourite experience. I tell him that they need cutting, and I sit with my back to him and hold his foot in front of me. He wriggles, but I try to remain calm and keep a firm grip! Hope this helps!!

That's brilliant advice bochead, can't believe I didn't think of the template! Also I am guilty of using clippers but I can't cut hair and he won't tolerate anyone else touching his head. Maybe I let it grow until I can explain it to him, he hates the cut hair on his face and body...

Thanks sally bear. Cutting toenails is such an experience and he's so strong!

I don't know about other things but I cut DS's nails when he is asleep... Come to think of it, probably not such a good idea...

Toenails - I wait until he's asleep! Still working on that routine lol!

ASD hair is pretty infamous, especially in boys.

DS's nintendo DS is a godsend. At nursery age I used a leapster for appointments.

It's prob a combination of unfamiliar routines and sensory issues (touch might be the first place to observe). Sadly I haven't got my own kids sensory problems sussed so can't advise others but I becoming increasingly aware that they cause massive behavioral issues that seem to be underestimated by the professionals.

Haircutting a nightmare here too and it had to be bursts of time with a home hairdresser to start with. He will now go to a hairdressers and for the first time he stayed there last weekend. I wetted his hair first with a detangler and combed through and put a small amount of conditioner at the ends only. Also it seems to "hurt" less when cut wet instead of dry which leads me to think its the fine dry hair that bites whereas wet it tends to fall in clumps. Scissors cut only wont go near a pair of clippers or hairdryer.

Nail cutting: I sit with my arm around DS and take one hand. I pressure massage each nail before, then cut, then again immediately after. Hard to explain but if I have a ring that spins when driving it doesnt feel right and my fingers tingle till I put the ring back right same for cutting nails or filing them, its a wierd sensation you feel that you need to press to get it away?

Feet? Same thing really I massage his foot hard before I put socks on and again massage the toes after quick and ram the shoes on

When we go shoe shop I only buy the same brand so I bought two pairs home then the one that fit I always keep the next size in the cupboard

With feet, as they get older, I think you can 'fit them' yourself. You know what size they are in and you can use the same technique as the shop fitters for checking their fit and the fit of the next size up e.g. check for length by placing thumb sideways across the top. A thumb's width is a growing size so if, when the child stands up, there is a thumb's width between the top of the shoe and the child's big toe, this is the right fit length wise. You need to check width and you can always ask a shoe shop fitter to explain this.

Check for slippage on the heel too.

When shoeshops were a real problem for us (too bright, too busy, too long to be served, too many choices etc etc), I learned a lot about shoe fitting from the Startrite website Here, and either bought online, or brought lots of different sizes home to try on at a good moment.

We also have a home hairdresser, who will cut DS's hair while he plays on the DS and does a great scissor cut.

I read this post to ds (15 asd) last night and I said ' do you remember being like that?'
'Yes' he said ' and I still hate those things'
'So what made it more bareable? ' I asked him (because he isn't still kicking and screaming thankfully )
He reckoned clippers rather than scissors snipping and squeaking near his ear was easier. He also said you get used to the sound of clippers.
He also said cutting his own nails with nail clippers helped (yours might be to young ) . Ds started doing it himself about 7.
I asked him what he thought was happening to him that made him scream and cry and fight and yelp so much... And he said ' I thought I was going to be injured or die'
He did agree though that just getting bigger and older helped the most... Because ' scissors on your nails and hair clippers don't feel so big '

He finished by saying... 'I still hate having to do it... Because your nails and your head feel horrible for ages afterwards'
From my point of view... The clippers were definitely a step in the right direction. I used to put them on for a few minutes before going near his head and made sure I didn't turn them on or off too near his head.
And yes, giving him the clippers to cut his nails made a huge difference... I still had to work on him to actually do it though... But at least I wasn't restraining him.
I have pretty much always fitted his own shoes myself since he was about 5 . It was to much hassle otherwise.Luckily he has always had standard width F in Clarks... Now he has big man-feet and I just buy em and take em back if they don't fit.
Hang in there... It's blardy orrible but it will get easier

troutpout. I found your post do interesting, I can completely imagine DS feels the same. On a positive note, we played with a tape measure today, measuring each other and he seems to enjoy it, so maybe there's a way to alleviate some anxiety by playing at home.

OMG, Aprilskies, im watching this thread closely. My son, age 4 is exactly the same...and dare I say worse!! I have left shoe shops totally distressed after telling the sales assistant "i cant do this today"
Screaming, yelling, hi pitched wails, shouting at the sales assistant "you r bad and not allowed to touch my feet, get off me"

Today I was in Clarkes, same routine as above. I suggested I measure his feet using their fancy machine....he wouldnt do it, allthough he did agree to me using the old trusty foot measuring device. It was all on his terms, the sales assistant had to go out of sight, no one was allowed to watch. He chose what foot went first. Eventually a result....the same size as he is wearing! ahhhhhhh

BUT it was a breakthrough

oh and haircuts, dentist etc are all the same....you dont want to know about the optician visit. He put drops in his eyes that made his eyes blur, plus they sting. The whole department in the hospital heard him(and the floor above and below) He ended up not getting them tested with the result being Ive to take him back next week for the same thing!....I cant wait!...any ideas anyone??

I just tell the assistant he has asd in advance and to grab hold of his foot and not let go however much he wriggles . I once got one who said no problem my brother has ASD. I could have hugged her

If you have to take photos do so. DS's Xmas pressie was a cheap camcorder that also takes 3mp stills. We've got a LOT of use out of it

Opticians 5 mins visits once a week till the an examination minus drops then following week + drops.

Our kids win every sheer darn stubborn award going so think "dripping tap" & gradually, oh so gradually wear em down

@iMustbemad
DS3 is going in for a general anaesthetic to have his drops. A bit desperate, but the refraction eyedrops have been hideous since he was 10mos old. He has a astigmatism in both eyes, longsighted and has a divergent squint. He has a Craniofacial condition called Treacher Collins Syndrome which causes the bones in the face not to develop normally. Hence the vision problems dx at an early age and combined that with no speech and ASD, its fun! Anyway we are off to get this done as it's less stressful for everyone. Hopefully the longsightedness will have improved and we can get a new prescription.