How many actually follow through?

[WetAugust]

Just wondering, as I type out the same advice for the 999th time.....

...how many people actually follow through and ask for assessments etc.

Or do most just post here and then give up?

I suppose we'll never know.

I only found Mumsnet about 2.5 yrs ago.

Actually Wet it was a couple of your posts that I found motivational and gave me the kick up the bum I needed. In part due to the fact that you're one of the few parents that post on here whose DS is older than mine.

DS was 14 and I'd been fighting on my own since he was 5 and not really getting anywhere, probably as I'm not naturally confrontational forthright enough; knowing I was being fobbed off, but not knowing the best way to tackle it, little support from family, friends, schools, CAMH etc. Finding mumsnet and realising that so many others were in the same/similar situations, battling away for their DC's, gave me the courage to be more proactive and demanding.

Unfortunately I only managed to get DS a statement three weeks before he finished school.

Pulling all the disparate strands together into a whole, then ripping it all into its component parts again to form questions/complaints is a nightmare, and while it frustrates the hell out of me that parents are not more proactive at times, I do understand why they are not.

I remember coming on here for advice over 3 years ago when I was trying to work out if my autism suspicions were worth investigating and whether or not I should get her assessed.
I think I dithered for a few days, then once I got the ball rolling (GP to private Psychiatrist specialising in ASD to public multi-disciplinary team) it all seemed to happen very fast.
I'm curious now, might have to do a search for my old posts..

Lenin, that's pretty fast actually and there isn't one person on this board that doesn't wish they'd acted sooner.

And WetAugust, I'm not sure whether you have come across this from other threads where I have had to be a bit cagey, but you may like to know that I am now following your ultimate advice to me.

Oh Lenin, the proposed statement stuff is a right ole pita but pretty run of the mill. It's just the process (shouldn't be but nothing you can do about that on your own). It's a fairly unpleasant stage but tbh pretty good training for the future as you are forced to be clear about what you expect.

When are you due to respond?

I had been struggling to get a Dx for Dd3 for 2 years before I came on here.

I have had some great advice from many people on here and have tried and tested loads of it from visual timetables and yellow and red cards to moving to another school.

I am now able to share some great ideas with others.

So yes wet go ahead with that 1000th post becasue somebody somewhere might just be desperate for it

And thanks to all of us.

I don't post very often, but have used lots of advice given not just to me but to others too. Since joining the board about 18months ago, DS1 has recieved a dx, DLA, useful meetings with and Ed Psych and finally an IBP. If it wasn't for the advice on here only the first would be the case.

Minx - I can totally relate to not being naturally confrontational. It's so hard to stand up to these "professionals" sometimes and not all of us have a natural gift for combatting their macheivellian machinations.

One of the biggest things this forum has shown me is how to be calmly assertive and firm while ensuring that those who should do the jobs they are paid for, rather than fob me off iykwim.

Some of the advice looking back was very basic like getting everything I could in writing and keeping copies of all correspondance, but I didn't know I'd need to!

Unfortunately I only managed to get DS a statement three weeks before he finished school

Actually you did very well indeed to get a Statement at such a late stage as the LA would be hell bent on dragging their heels until he reached 16 and was no longer their responsibility. (DS got his Final Statement 2 weeks before his 16th birthday).

But there is still benefit in obtaining it that late as Connexions must support young people who have Statements up to the age of 25 (instead of the normal age 19).

You certainly do

I feel like the last 2 years of my life have been one massive follow-through (!) on advice I've received from this board, both directly and as a consequence of other people's threads too... no other place online or in real life even comes close in terms of insight and knowledge and I dread to think where we would be if I hadn't found it.

We got a dx and a statement and even a VB programme without tribunal (had to compromise a bit tho and needless to say it was a long battle of attrition). I often feel like posting a detailed update in case it helps anybody, but idiotically I feel like to post on his progress would somehow jinx it as it seems to go in fits and starts and just when I think he's on a roll he starts plateauing for ages.

He was non-verbal until last summer and yesterday he said "squash me with cushion" (favourite activity of the moment!).

I can't thank everyone on here enough

I think a lot of people don't follow through at that point but that they will do eventually. And that their 'eventually' will be a hell of a lot quicker thanks to the amazing advice they get from the people on this board. Like Lenin says, we all think we could have/should have acted sooner, I think a lot of people post here hoping to hear 'oh no, s/he sounds fine' and they then have to just sit with that for a while before they can act.

I also think soooooo many people think they'll get help quickly and it can be quite hard to hear about delays, issues, HCP being unhelpful and a bit shit. For many people, having concerns about their DCs is their first brush against 'the system' and most people who haven't fought the NHS do believe the propaganda that the NHS is wonderful.

I just came across an email I wrote about DS two years ago where I was highlighting that it took us 2 years to get a dx. That's a third of his life where we were fobbed off - I imagine any other mother of a borderline kid reading that may just think 'nope, too much, I can't engage with that lazy woman, why did it take her so long /or alternatively OMG I'll have to wait two years to even get someone to see my DC'.

I'm rambling now so will stop. But I do believe that every post helps. Eventually.

I've followed through on the advice I have been given on this board and I'm ecstatically happy that I did... I wouldn't have got this kind of invaluable practical information anywhere else! Although I still live I'm hope that more than 1 out of 10 professionals will actually contribute in a significant way towards the well being of my DS ;)

I have acted on advice given directly to me in my few posts as well as advice that I have seen given to others. This is often the first place I come to if I need advice and usually someone else has already asked the question I came to find the answer for. Sometimes I read the advice given and just know that won't work for my child. But most of the time I think that has got to be worth a try.

WetAugust, could I please ask for some advice concerning transition and maintaining statements etc. I will take it on board .

My daughter will have her transitional review this year and is at an independent school in a different LEA. Although the school does have a post 16 department we've already had a pro forma letter from our LEA saying unlikely for her to continue there as her statement will end at 16. What is the position with getting her statement continued past 16 until she is 19 as I know this is possible? TIA

I would love to hear from anyone going through this or who has just done it. The teenage board seems to get much less traffic than this one.

We are just on our first steps and I think the info given here is fab. thanks

Hi Vig13

Statements don't need to end at 16. 16 is just the end of statutory education.

If she is in school (not FE College) post-16 then the Statement should continue. So if her current school has a sixth form and she wishes to continue in education, the Statement should remain in place and she should be able to stay at her present school.

However, the LA will be arguing that at post-16, she has completed her statutory education and therefore the LA has no responsbility towards her.

It's a very difficult situation for you to be in. The LA will want her to leave the independant school and transfer to a local FE College = basically to save the LA money. Before doing so the SEN COP states that the Ed Pysch should assure themselves that any alternative education is suitable. What you therefore need to do is to look at all the options that are available in local FE Colleges and prove they cannot meet her needs and therefore are not options for her - so she would need to remain at her current independant school post-16.

If the current school has post-16 provision, I would write to the LA stating that you wish her to remain there post-16 and also include a letter from your DD herself stating that she wishes to remain at her present school (they are supposed to take account of the young person's views) and ask them to confirm that is what will happen. Also ask for a copy of her TRANSITION PLAN which will show the post-16 placement.

If your LA is utterly opposed to her staying at the curent school post-16 you'll need to ascertain what the LA's alternative proposals are. That will be difficult. They are more likely to string you along without giving any alternative eduaction and then cease the statement immediately she becomes 16. At that point you'll need to go to Tribunal to object to the cessation of the Statement.

Statements are supposed to be amended by 15 Feb in the year of transition. I would force them to make the amendment - that means they would either have to name the current school as post-16 provision or leave the Part 4 blank, which would indicate that they intend to cease the Statement post-16. At that point you can appeal to SENDIST against the LA's failure to provide a suitable educational placemnet for post-16.

As I said, it's a very grey area. IPSEA should be able to give advice. I was in the same position myself but at that time post-16 education was available via L&SC funding, which has now been transferred back to the LA in most areas.

So look at possible local provision so you can start to make a case as to why that's not suitable and tackle the matter early so that you have sufficient time to have a SENDIST hearing to get some provision in place for the autumn in which she ecomes 16 and needs a post-16 placement.

Thanks for that. We'll just have to get cracking on the slog of looking round lots of unsuitable provision. She has SLD and I can't imagine any of the FE colleges could provide an appropriate environment.

If we did get the LEA to agree to her current school does that mean they would continue providing transport too?

Transport is a very contentious issue and there is no national approach - each LA does things differently.

I my DS's case the LA stated that transport costs were included in the fees that the LA paid to the FE College, so the FE College was responsible for home to college transport.

Again, a very grey area.

how do you do that psst thing lennin?

I've followed most of the advice I've had here. Though not the big bit (yet) re going to tribunal... need to be emotionally and physically ready first.

Though without mnsn I wouldn't be preparing this far in advance, logging everything, keeping reports in triplicate...