Gah, am so fed up - AS child in mainstream *VENT*

[NameChangeForVenting]

I am so, so frustrated. My beautiful, wonderful 8 yo dd, who has Asperger's, is struggling in mainstream. Her school is a large primary full of (it seems) boisterous, sociable, chatty, lively, performing children and she is like a star shaped peg in a round hole. This is her 4th year there and there has been only one year so far that hasn't been marked with trauma, bullying, breakdowns in communication, teachers who don't understand AS etc etc etc. It's the only school in the town which is fairly rural.

BUT - we live in a lovely community with family nearby, both have jobs in this area and I have a son at the same school. And while I think there are smaller schools in the local authority, there are none that stand out to me as a better fit for her and we've been told that she's not right for the special schools in the area. There is a communication unit attached to a primary but it's on the other side of the authority, and its purpose is to integrate children back into mainstream and I think they'd class her as 'coping'.

But I am not sure that 'coping' is enough. Where are the educational settings for children like my dd? I've seen other posters on other forums describe their children as in a "twilight' zone of education, where they attend mainstream but never fit in. This is my dd. I observe her when I am in school and she's not herself, often zoning out, locking down.

I want better for her! I have been frantically googling tonight and making wild statements to dh about moving wherever it takes, wherever there's something better. For some reason I have decided that this is the USA. Like we could ever get in.

GAH!

You?re right to be worried.

Children with Aspergers need to be proactively taught social and communication skills from the earliest possible age. They will not pick these skills up naturally.

Your daughter is not receiving an education that is tailored to suit her condition and valuable years are being wasted. Without specific support matters will only decline and she will be totally ill-equipped for eventual secondary education.

As she has Aspergers she is probable very able, and probably too able for special school.

She needs a placement where the staff are knowledgeable about Aspergers and can tailor her learning to cater for this condition e.g. by social stories etc.

Ideally se would be in an austism base attached to mainstream primary/junior school. There should be such a setting in your county but if there isn?t then you need to look at surrounding counties or even consider pushing for an independent school. To obtain any of these she will need a Statement of Special Educational Needs.

If school share your concerns then you should ask the SENCO to apply for an assessment that may lead to a Statement. If school are ignoring / belittling her difficulties you need to take matters into your own hands and apply directly to the LA yourself for an assessment that may lead to a Statement.

If you can afford it it would be very helpful to have her seen by a private Ed Pysch. That would reveal the true extent of her difficulties and provide you with the evidence and ammunition you?ll need to start getting her the support she deserves.

The thing you cannot do is to let this situation continue. You?ll end up with a very anxious daughter, possibly with additional MH issues as a result of her school experiences, who will never fulfil her potential as she cannot access an education that she is just not equipped to deal with.