What do you do when you suspect asd, but dc is happy and doing well?

[NaturesEnd]

I have had niggles about ds1 since he was small, he had a moderate receptive/expressive speech delay diagnosed by a speech and language therapist at around 2.3. Although by the time the group therapy doodah thing came through, his speech had improved exponentially, so we didn't go. I did notice the therapist doing assessments for asd (role play etc), she was happy with him at that age and said he had a lovely character blah blah.

He is now 5 and in reception, he is such a happy little boy, enthusiastic about everything, overly enthusiastic imo . He managed to cut a big gash in his forehead to the bone, after the initial crying and panic, he was brilliant. Looked forward to going to the hospital was a perfect patient even though he had to have a general to stitch it.

He has friends at school, is doing well with reading and writing, is in love with his best girly friend .

But still there is something, he is very quick to anger/tantrum to mirror the excitement, although his tantrums are diffused quite quickly. He also does this odd stiff hand turny thing when he is excited. He also has the whole repetitive noise thing going on, he will be shooting things whilst making this noise for a good long while.

If I am honest with myself I do think he may have some mild form of something, I could be wrong though, he seems to surprise me at every turn.

WWYD? I don't really want to subject him to tests and labels etc for no reason, but I'm a little worried that if he does exhibit certain traits that my head in the sand approach will bite me in the arse in future.

Sorry for the longness.

If you've had long term niggles then the best thing to do here is address this and asap. No point burying your head in the sand, doing that can lead to a nasty shock later on for you besides which denial helps no-one least of all your son.

You can ask the GP to refer your DS to a developmental paediatrician for further evaluation. A SALT could not diagnose ASD anyway even if this person wanted to, they are simply not qualified enough. If your DS was on the ASD spectrum somewhere a diagnosis would take some time to arrive at, its not going to be an instant process and all this could take some months or even a year or more.

Keep a diary and write down these behaviours of his and perhaps even film him playing at home. Look closely too at how he plays with toys; how does he interact with his peers?. Does he for instance find social situations with other children (e.g parties) more difficult?.

Reception as well is mainly play based; how do you think he will manage in Year 1 when formalised learning really kicks in?. Do think about this. He may well find it more difficult to socially keep up with his peers and some of these children can be bloody unkind. They're not cruel all like that but some of them may well come to see him as someone who is "different" from them and thus someone to be not liked.

See a "label" as a signpost to be given more help. Its not so much about subjecting him to tests and labels as much as trying to ensure as much as possible that any additional needs he may have are fully met.

You are basically your child's best - and only - advocate here. No-one else will do that for you and you are truly best placed to fight his corner for him (this is because no-one else will do that for you either).

Have you had a word with the SENCO at his school?. Is he on this person's radar?. I would think that school have not noticed anything untoward. However, teachers are generally not trained enough to recognise any child with any additional needs generally and these children can and are too easily overlooked particularly if they happen to be both quiet and compliant in class.

I can totally understand your dilemma. I have 3 daughters, aged 6.2, 4.6 and 2.10. DD1 has very definite SN (she goes to Special School, DLA, Social Services support, Blue badge). The other two are Neurotypical...but are they?

DD2 (4.6) is very rule led, and extremely literal with her speech at times. An example is:

Me: 'Who did you sit next to at Lunch today?'
DD2: 'No-one'

Me: 'You must have sat next to someone.
DD2: "NO! I didn't."

Me: "What happened???"
DD2: "I was sat on the corner"

She is very fussy about seams of socks, waistbands, even her coat being on in the car because the zip might stick out.

This morning, DD2 was crying because Nanny would take her to school, but she takes a different route to Mummy.

On the other hand, she is doing well with her reading and writing (especially considering she has an August birthday) and she enjoys role play (although it's very interesting to see that DD3 who is 2.10 does very intricate 'pretend play' with her animals, etc., which DD2 has never done. Also it's very rare for DD2 to be 'being a ' she is always '^pretending to be '

I'm pretty sure DD has very mild aspergers, very geeky for a girl, little obsessions (has the 'sock seam'ocd thing!), doesn't quite fit in socially

But her brother is the one getting help as he has very obvious asd.

I'm comparing DD's mild aspergers to that of her dad, which hasn't really caused him any problems in his life. Happy with his lot, works as an engineer, has an 'aspie' partner (me). Doesn't need or want friends.

I suspect in DD's case it may be better to leave things as they are (although, I am closely monitoring her for any signs of anxiety or depression)

I had niggles about DS, well forever really. No meltdowns, lovely personality according to everyone. However lots of organisational issues, dyspraxic traits , attention problems, some sensory issues. He has numerous smallish issues but nothing major. However he is different and I have always suspected ASD.

No professional has ever mentioned it to me and when I raised it, I wasn?t dismissed but it was not something that anyone else, OT?s, SALTs and paed seemed to think was a possibility.

Recently his experienced teacher this year brought it up for the first time and I have decided its time to get an answer , to stop me going mad from the ?Is he/Isnt he worries.

DS has always been a happy child and he has got help in school in the areas that he needed so I don?t think he has missed out by not having a diagnosis earlier. However now that we are embarking on secondary school , I think its important that we know one way or another.

He is being tested tomorrow so at the moment am a bit anxious.

Although I don?t think DS lost out, I think in hindsight , my advice to someone would be to trust your instinct and get it looked into sooner rather than later. We were also told, after an EP assessed that my DS fitted the Moderate learning difficulty profile which I never believed (although the EP said the results should be viewed with caution) and it has turned out following recent testing that he is does not fit this profile at all. Poor processing speed but most other things were in the average range.

So at the moment I?m all for trusting your instincts