Visiting the local Special School - today is the day.

[nenevomito]

I'm off to visit the local special school today to see if it may be suitable for DS once his statement arrives. There are only two in my area, one for SLD and another general one which covers everything else. I am going to the everything else one.

I have mixed feelings. I've spoken to some of the mums at the local support group - some have stuck with mainstream and some have children who go to this school. How on earth do you decide which is best??

I know mainstream isn't helping DS at the moment and he's not happy, but will he get the same opportunities elsewhere? My brain hurts.

I was thinking exactly those thoughts this time 2 years ago. I went to the special school with so much anxiety.

Then, I saw a headteacher who instinctively knew what DD needed. Even to the extent that every time DD went near her desk, the headteacher's hand instinctively guarded the corner of the table as she talked, to protect DD from injury.

The other thing that was crucial for me, was that while she was ultra adaptable to meet DD's needs (for example, when I asked which classroom DD would need to go to so she could use a low distraction work table, the head teacher said 'they move...we'd just bring one in to her class) she was completely firm with regard to DD1's sensitivities.

I remember saying 'do any of your children have NG tubes, etc., because DD has a real phobia of things like that. She just looked at me and said 'she'll just have to get used to it...It's part of life and it won't do her any favours to shield her from it. We'd gradually expose her and in time she'll be fine.

She was! One of her best friends at school is intermittently NG fed. DD1 doesn't bat an eyelid now.

That's what we need. Somewhere that not only recognises what the issues are, but can actually adapt and meet his needs rather than trying to fit them in to a mainstream class.

We're not taking DS to visit with us today as if we take him he will just assume that he's going there and then not understand why he's not. At the moment its more about me and DH getting our heads around it being an option.

How did your appt go babyheave? I looked round a special school today for the first time too, with a view to sending DS1 there. How did it make you feel?

I liked the one I viewed. I felt a bit overwhelmed but it had a calm atmosphere, I really liked the teaching staff and the relationship they seemed to have with the children. I'm seeing the other one next week so will see how I feel about that one, it just feels like a big leap right now.

My ds started ss yesterday. He's 4 but had been attending mainstream school for 2 1/2 hours each day.

I have to admit I was anxious when viewing the schools, was worried they would be "grim" but as soon as I stepped into his new school I fell in love with it. Like Lougle I could see they were instinctively in tune with his needs (cp and severe learning difficulties) and they were clearly geared up for any issues we raised as they understood because they were used to dealing with kids like ds.

Any concerns we had evaporated as although his mainstream school were lovely (he had 1:1 help) a ss setting was obviously a better setting, the school is tailored around him rather than constantly trying new strategies for him to cope in mainstream.

We were nudged to go and view special schools by his mainstream teacher, and although I was upset at first, it only took that first visit to see there was no contest as to which would be better for him.

I loved the school, I really did.

I think you've hit it on the head with this "the school is tailored around him rather than constantly trying new strategies for him to cope in mainstream." as thats how I felt looking at the school. DH was impressed as well and said that DS certainly wouldn't suffer from going there.

We need to get moving with his statement now. Maybe it will work for him when he has proper support in a mainstream classroom - at the moment he's doing so poorly, getting very stressed and the gap between him and his peers is getting bigger by the day.

The children at the school were really and truly lovely and there were so many like DS that we could immediately pick out the ASD kids and you know what, that made me feel really good too as it means he will fit in and not stick out like a sore thumb.

We've just bitten the bullet and gone for a move from MS to SS. DD will start in Sept in year 3. We've tried MS and whilst it has worked in alot of ways, its clear it isn't working in so many other. Someone else on here really helped me out with one comment about how when they moved they went from being the 'child unable to do things' to being an 'able child that can do things' i.e as SS they clearly fitted in better and self esteem boosted alot. I cried most of the way round the visit to the SS as just couln't cope with it and it all felt so wrong, but then slowly the penny dropped that actually this will be the best place for her. Now I'm really looking forward to her starting as so many people on here have made me realised that it will be a positive experience.

just take each day as it comes, get the statement, look round, get your facts etc. MS has been great for DD but the issue we've had (and common on here) is getting the support in MS is still problematic as usually they just don't have the resources or capability to know what to do for the best. Good luck xx

Am so pleased your visit went well! I am visiting our local ss next week as we are expecting a decision on DDs statement any day. It is a comfort that other parents have felt apprehensive about visiting ss - I was feeling guilty that it was just me. After all of your positive comments I will be going in with a different attitude. What I am really looking for is a nurturing environment where, as you have all said, things are adapted around the child instead of her being a square peg in a round hole (like mainstream).