Getting to school on time

[mariasalome]

Ok, have namechanged (a bit) for my new secret mission of calling the senco's bluff. DS has anxiety +++ in the morning. He also has a disorganised mum and a busy household of siblings and lost schoolbags. And in all fairness, the asd is only half the reason we're always late.

School tried having a quiet word with me (ok, more than once), then encouraging DS, then putting punctuality on his IEP. And now I have a letter from the head. Obviously, I did the schedules, visual timetables, sticker charts, sweeties, advance preparation, yadda, yadda. To little avail. Not done the social story yet, so now I've noticed the gap I'll get writing .

So this thread is me holding myself to account, so if (when?) we are late despite my efforts, I'll know it's mainly or entirely due to the meltdowns and routines, not to my bumbling, and hopefully be able to prove it to school.

So is the key issue lack of information/warning about what will happen to him?

TBH Imogen i do think you need to get him to school on time, surely by getting him there earlier he will be calmer and anxiety lessoned so not so reactive to other changes & triggers.

Does he read?
He could benefit from a calendar (it could be done with pictures, including pictures of relevant staff) to look at and prepare himself each day. Do changes from day to day and week to week throw him also? Is he a child who finds the unexpected difficult?

You could also refer to posts on 'moondog calendar' if this is the case.
A combination of getting to school on time and giving him a way of knowing what will happen and when should really help.

Poor child obviously feels powerless and every day is a scary trip into the unknown. Little wonder he is kicking off-I certainly would in his shoes. Imagine waking every day and not ever really being sure of what the day holds. That's the sad reality for so many kids.

Sorry imogen, I misunderstood I thought you were saying that your lack of organisation was the main reason you are often late.

Sounds like school need a big kick up the arse as to how just a little bit of communication with you to enable you to plan with ds will help everyone.
Its easy for the school to underestimate how little someone with ASD can plan/adapt/imagine what change will look like & therefore deal with it calmly.

DRM is spot on.You're obviously doing your bit.
They could/should be doing theirs.

If a co-ordinator sat with you for an hour or so, you could get this sorted to benefit you all.
We do this kind of stuff all the time.It takes a small amount of time, costs nothing and requires only consistency on both sides.

No but I am a speech and language therapist who works in different special and mainstream schools and deals with this sort of stuff on a weekly basis.

God yes but there has to be real effort and consistency and an ability to problem solve on both sides.

Yay! Another week of on-time!

(resurrecting this old thread so you lot can be the teacher authorising my lucky dip for filling my sticker chart again )

Good for you!
Lots of stickers coming yuor way.
Is it changing other people's behaviour as well?

And another week! Yay [victory dance whilst punching air and looking smug].

Moondog, it's changed my behaviour a lot, the kids' behaviour a medium amount, I've had a bit of supportively joking feedback from the nicer mums at the gate. If you meant 'did it influence the school staff?' though, I think it would take far, far more than us being on time to do that.

[maria just about stops herself from trying to break down "demonstrate respect for the 'more difficult' parents" into 500 easily achievable small steps that can be worked on]

That's geat to hear again. You must change of course first make them change and remember their learning history is not being on time for school so it will take a while to modify that.