Homework

[bochead]

Does anyone else find themselves wondering why we send em to school in the first place?

At the risk of sounding like an old fart I never had to do any flipping homework in Primary other than 10 mins reading and I turned out OK lol!

If we didn't have so much "generic homework" from school this 1/2 term I'd have had a lot more time to help DS with his specific issues (dyslexia?).

Every week in term time by the time we've worked on his "regular school homework" there isn't any time left to help him with specific SEN stuff, so we lose family time at weekends. DS NEEDS downtime to recover from the stress of the school day.

There's lots of ASD therapy stuff I want to fit in this year (and some of it is related to his 3R's!) but cannot seem to find time for.

Getting stressed as DS is rising 8 and still only on level 1 against the National curriculum for reading, writing and maths (I'm happy to be off the P scales btw). I want some time to help him with this gently and at his own pace.

Holidays are even worse! I want a proper break from it so lord knows how he feels!
Does anyone else feel like this?

Sorry if my waffle isn't very clear.

I really feel for you boc ,we are very lucky Dd3 doesnt get anywhere near as much as some of my friends dc's.

Even so it is still a nightmare.

Have you spoken to the school about reducing the amount they give him, especially if you are doing other interventions wit him.

Sometimes [like today], i virtually do it for her just to get it done.

I'd speak to the school too - say what you've said here. They should be able to make different arrangements.

I'd just like to do my own "holiday project" with him for once ; )

Not make a costume, write a story, draw, make a model etc about summat he has NO interest in on top of the maths and english work he was set.

Examples:-
DS wants to keep a diary on the development of his stick insects (literacy, science but not national bloody curriculum) but hasn't had the time. We are both frustrated. Following their own curiosity and interests is how kids LEARN best. He loathes writing so has struggled writing about the school "topic" yet would have produced 5x times amount of work on his blessed stick insects.

I'm reading the famous five stories to him - talkng about each chapter helps an AS kid's understanding no end. Again it's HIS interest driving this, yet we haven't had time to get through more than a couple of chapters this 1/2 term as we've wasted so much time on flipping phonics AGAIN.

I'm not a "slack Mum", just a frustrated one. He's 7 so I expect my frustration with not having the time to let him follow his own interests out of school is shared by Mums of NT kids but I dare not post on the "normal boards" as they are all so bloody competitive and probably have their 7 years olds reading "war & peace" as well as their violin lessons, and umpteen play dates etc.

I've never done hw with DD and school are happy for me to be doing dyslexia stuff with her instead.

In fact it's on her IEP.

Thankfully the school don't give too much homework. I did have the conversation with school about the amount of time and they were very reasonable. They said that they give the homework out and would indicate how long it should take. It would be up to me whether he continued with any more.
DS has always chosen to finish the homework - even though he has a get out clause - as he wants to do/be the same as everyone else. Most of me is very proud - the other part of me objects to me having to spend so much of my weekend keeping him on task.
In the long term I think it is teaching DS a very valuable lesson. He is academically able, but in order for him to do the same volume of work as his peer group, he is going to have to put more time in. Realistically - getting dressed, he has to put more time and effort in etc. This is likely to always be the case.
In my DS's case, getting used to living with this difference is something he needs to learn. Each of our DCs will be different. Some of you have very different academic battles to resolve before homework should even enter the equation.

I have never done homework with DS either. He is not in juniors yet but I wont be doing it there either no matter how much they kick up a stink about it.

Juniors HW here is tough. DD does it and yes its easy for her but even I cut down the amount for her. They have 3 web sites to do each day maths english and another multiple choice, reading each day both private and aloud, spellings each day, and essay/story plus drawing project. Also they have a holiday diary where they write in another extra they have done voluntarily ie science,history to which those that have done it get awards. The last holiday she either spent the majority of the day or all evening doing it every day and saw very little of her friends and enjoyed her hols. They drum it into them that they are letting themselves down and their futures down for prospective jobs (she is 10!!!) and also letters come home telling parents if your child does not do this then we are putting them at a serious disadvantage and dont have their future interests at heart. All this is expected during the week too although the essays are spread over the month.

His social skills and communication skills are far more important and top of the list to me and during the holidays is the time to get out and about and get practicing! Games play and role play we do a lot of. He has a reading book yes but he cannot read the way they want him to anyway as he is a whole word reader and phonics are a no go for him, so we practice typing the words in on the computer several times and he says the word with me as we do it. I extract two or three words each day. In my eyes he has done his HW but my way.

I had the homework debate with school after me and ds suffering from the situation. Mine needs down time too, he finds school exhausting and even the sight of his homework folder would result in a meltdown!

After several months and much debate I was finally informed "well school homework is optional". Ah, well why haven't you told me this before! We now only do it when I know DS is willing and able, and I do bits too when I see a co-operative mood on the horizon (rarely). He's not too bad ATM but venomously HATES even the mention of times tables. Which he supposedly should know his 2s, 5s and 10s by end of year. Sigh.

Just do what you can OP. Do what the two of YOU want to do and would benefit from. Have a chat with teacher/head/senco after HT holiday about the homework issue.

I think I'm at the point of telling the school ds1 won't be doing homework anymore. This Tudor project has driven me over the edge.

We still haven't finished and it has to be handed in on Thursday. What we have done - which is nowhere near enough compared to his peers - has taken probably in excess of 10 hours involving much coaching, cajoling, persuading etc.

This evening he has to alphabetically label a galleon to tie up with the information he has typed up onto another sheet. It took him nearly two hours just to read, reword and type 6 sentences about each thing he's going to label on it and they were all from the same page on one website. He just couldn't focus. He was only interested in playing with the interactive activities on the subject and every time I took my eyes off him he was doing that again instead of typing.

I was also to discover that they've been letting him type one-fingered at school. So,now he refuses to type properly, after we spent the whole of last year timetabling blooming tap-typing homework, to teach him how to touch type!

Tomorrow evening he has to draw Francis Drake's route onto a map (which I spent hours sourcing, resizing and printing last night) and then write out some interesting facts about the voyage.

Then on Wednesday, we have to bake Tudor biscuits to take in, which is slightly pointless exercise, as not only could we not by blooming caraway seeds or aniseeds, his version will be gluten free and without the salt - so nothing like Tudor biscuits actually.

The thing that winds me up is that he knows all the facts to the extent he's practically a walking encylopedia of interesting Tudor facts, but he has zero interest in conveying that knowledge in any way other than through monologuing at people. So he has learned what they want him to know, but getting him to prove it in any meaningful/assessable way is nigh on impossible.

All in all, hours of stress for me, upset for him for very little, if any gain.

Do your own holiday projects with him Bochead, they will be just as valuable to him, if not more so, than anything dictated by the NC. You can incorporate spellings, sentence structure, expression of ideas, extend his thinking etc into his stick insect diary.

A warning re homework - be careful how much help/support you give your DC's with homework; some schools use this 'supported' work for assessment purposes, you could in effect be helping your school to mask the difficulties your child is having in completing the work.

Minx179 - see you "get it" re getting 3R stuff into his own interests at home for fun.

It's so nice to hear I'm not the only one who finds this whole thing annoying.

Yes I'm well aware homework has to be his own work. My lea will be angling for the 1st opportunity/slightest excuse to reduce his school support so I make damn sure it's all his own work!

In term time during the week, we devote 30 mins -1 hour a night and then 3-4 hours on a Saturday morning. I think that is quite sufficient for a 7 year old, especially as he NEEDS chances to practice his social skills via the odd playdate etc. Considering that if you home educate a NT child of this age you can cover the NC in about 1.5 hours a day I think that's a reasonable time allocation. If he doesn't finish the work set, he doesn't finish.

I think I need to set a limit on time allocated to holiday homework in future too.

According to directgov, you/DS are spending more time than necessary on homework (my highlights).

For example, some children will work quicker than others and get more done in less time. The rough guidelines for primary school children are:
Years 1 and 2: one hour per week
Years 3 and 4: 1.5 hours per week
Years 5 and 6: 30 minutes per day

The guidelines for secondary school children are:
Years 7 and 8: 45 to 90 minutes per day
Year 9: one to two hours per day
Years 10 and 11: 1.5 to 2.5 hours per day

Your child shouldn?t be expected to spend much longer on homework than the guide times. It doesn?t matter if activities don't take as long as the guide times as long as they are useful. Schools should organise homework carefully so that children aren't asked to do too much on any one day.

I would certainly cut down on some of the homework you are doing. IME it can end up having a negative effect on your relationship, especially if you are constantly having to coerce them to look at it, stay on track, get them to do things they don't understand. Social/physical skills and/or other educational activities can be just as important to the child and less damaging to your own sanity and relationship with your DC.