Ds keeps lying, being rude and not listening

[janx]

Ds is 4 and his behaviour has really gone haywire in the last few months. He is really hard work - won't listen to us when asked to do anything - or lies and says he has washed his hands, done a wee etc. when I ask him why he isn't doing what I ask him to do his answer is - I just want to do what I want to do!

We have a reward chart for him, which works to a certain extent, but I need more stategies

janx

Some children can have a listening disability, auditory processing disorder, it affects about 10% of children, at the age of 4 it could be considered as part of a natural developmental issue, and can only be clinically diagnosed as a disability from the age of 6 years old onward.

I should of said he has verbal dyspraxia! He understands everything we say

have you tried a visual card with the reward chart? my ds was like this and i had to use visual reward, ie: we would talk about his reward and find pictures to print out, laminate them and put one in his pocket, one on reward chart and i would have one. if he didn't do as he was asked i would put the reward picture in front of him and remind him, my ds couldn't remember or visualise the reward without a picture.

Have a think about how you actually talk to him.

Frame questions very carefully e.g. What did you do at school today - rather than - what are you doing at school?

Some of the 'lying' could be him taking your questions very literally and giving the wrong/inappropraite answer. I've experienced lots of that with mine

Thanks for your replies. The lies are connected to things he doesn't like doing - for example he doesn't like washing his hands after going to the toilet so he will say he has already done it! Same for brushing his teeth, etc. I think he finds it all interrupts him playing and he doesn't like that.- hence him saying " I just want to do what I want to do"

I don't think it's that uncommon for boys to claim they've washed their hands when they haven't. We used to always do a touch check every time with our DS and then send him back to the basin. Eventually he learned (or did he - he's 13 now and we still have to remind him from time to time).

Thanks local mum.... I do the hand check and then he will scream that he has done it and refuse to go back to the wash basin. I think I might get some special soap just for him and see if that works