why don't autistic children make eye contact?

[mamaLou13]

can you guide me to a reputable website or book which explains this in some detail by any chance?

Might be teaching my grandmother to suck eggs here... have you been to www.autism.org.uk ?
My DS says it makes him feel very uncomfortable. He now looks at either the other person's cheek or between the eyes. (One social skills group I know used bhindi to help with this!) This means it looks like he's looking people in the eye when having a conversation.

My daugther told me its because she cant listen and look at the same time. There is too much information in the facial expressions, which means she can either look OR listen but not both.

I think it's interesting that it's only some autistic children. My son only avoids eye contact when be doesnt want to do something - the rest of the time his eye contact is good. I have tried holding his gaze when we are playing and he can do it with no problem. Unfortunately his speech is limited so I can't ask him how he feels about it - I wish I knew!

ASD children are often affected by sensory overload. Therefore they can concentrate better on what the talker is saying if they look away. If they give eye contact, it means they are listening, looking and therefore not concentrating.

its likely because when he is doing what he wants and knows there is no reason to be worried about reactions.
DD1 has fairly good eye contact if she knows you and the situation but new people and new situations means processing all of it, and eye contact is first to go

Imagine making eye contact with someone you fancy but don't know very well. It becomes a conscious thing rather than natural and there might be anxiety about the unpredictableness of that person's behaviour. The eye contact can become too overstimulating and you have to look down lots.

It can be for several reasons. But not all autistic children don't give eye contact, my ds does he does it in an inappropriate way though, he will stare right into your eyes very close to your face. A friends ds (18) has told her that it hurts, he will look at the chin or shoulder instead, you know he is ppaying attention when he does this.

Or that you just don't understand that people's eyes and faces carry information that coukd be important, or if you do k ow, it is too confusing. And perhaps you don't understand the theory of mind that enables you to understand that eye contact makes you more trustworthy and honest to them and that this works in your favour.

DD sounds a bit like sphil's DS - she does avoid eye contact if she does not want to do something. other than that her eye contact is great.

Or that you just don't understand that people's eyes and faces carry information that coukd be important, or if you do k ow, it is too confusing. And perhaps you don't understand the theory of mind that enables you to understand that eye contact makes you more trustworthy and honest to them and that this works in your favour.

My son makes eye contact if asking a question or monologuing at me (I do mean 'at' , as I'm sure some of you can empathise with ) BUT doesn't make eye contact if being spoken to.

It's worth remembering that not all autistic children have poor eye contact. It's one of those stereotypical myths that can be misleading, especially with poorly trained professionals.

Some even overcompensate with very intense eye contact.

It wasn't until DS1 was being assessed for AS that I even realised people make eye contact when they talk - I don't I always 'lip read' ie I watch their mouth. I have tried to make eye contact with people with people now I know I 'should', but it makes me feel literally sick. I have no idea how much eye contact is 'normal' eye contact.

Yes, I've always had difficulty with eye contact, as it makes me intensely uncomfortable, even with people that I know well (including family and friends). I have felt this way as long as I can remember, and it was a huge issue with my parents, as they were very strict and it made me feel physically ill when they demanded that I look at them when they were speaking to me.

DS2 sometimes has fairly good eye contact, especially with close family, but when he is struggling, it's the first thing to go. You can literally watch his eyes slide sideways and see how he is struggling to avoid focusing on anything (or perhaps he is struggling to focus, we're not really sure which).

Interestingly, as well as having good eye contact most of the time, DS2 (who has severe autism) does also reference faces for information quite well. I can convey disapproval with a look and he responds to non verbal cues like raised eyebrows, eye movements etc. He also uses eye contact for communicative purposes - like looking at me just before he's about to do something wrong, or to check whether he's allowed to do something, or when he's teasing. Maybe its because he's very limited verbally?

oh sphil, DD does pretty much the same!

My son can be avoidant with eye contact BUT not always and it's about social communication and sensory overload imho.

sphil - snap again! dd1 does the same as your ds2. good enough eye contact with peole when she is comfortable. won't if she is about to do somehtign she shoudln't.

she can also reference faces and pick up non-verbal cues really well (even tiny little subtle ones). in her case it is not because she is limited verbally as she chats away lots, although she is still much better at receptive language than expressive (although this is coming along ok; massive language disorder thoguh)

I tried it last night with DP, and it confused me so much that I couldn't concentrate on the conversation, Yes, pretty sure it's a sensory overload issue. I've always looked at noses or mouths - I didn't think that people noticed, although perhaps I'm in denial.

I can do eye contant when there's no talking, If I'm just cuddling the DC for example

With DS its a sensory overload problem he can either look at you or listen to you but not both, so I cna say something to him or if he is looking in my direction use exaggerated facial and body language without words. Depending on what it is both will work. He is used to this now as if he asks when we are eating he will otherwise have to wait until my mouth is empty and this used to make him think I was ignoring him so now he looks too - briefly

I didn't do eye contact because I didn't know you were supposed to. Now I look at the other person's mouth to concentrate on what they are saying, but if I am talking I find it hard to look directly at them. DS is much better at eye contact than me.

Interesting about some children having good non verbal communication. My DS is having the ADOS test next week, aspergers suspected. He is very good at interpreting non verbal communication. As a deficit in non verbal communication is a necessary trait under the new diagnostic criteria (DSM V) I was wondering how DS could fall into the ASD category, but nmaybe he could and will.