Teenager with ADHD

[Perriwinkle]

Anyone know much about disciplining children with ADHD - particularly teenage children?

It seems that there is an emphasis placed on rewarding and praising good behaviour - which is fine of course but does that mean that you have to let all bad behaviour go simply because much of the impulsiveness that gives rise to bad behaviour is part of the condition and the children can't help it? It's very hard to know how to punish bad behaviour in children with ADHD because of this.

Does anyone here know of any useful forums or support groups?

DS2 is only 5yo, so obviously nowhere close to being a teenager, but yes, he responds much better to positive reinforcement than to punishments. We still have consequences for certain actions, however, time will tell how it turns out. At present, he gets a warning for certain behaviour that is against the rules, and if it happens again, he is taken to his room (childproofed - just to remove him from the situation entirely). It gives him time to calm down a bit so we can sit down with him and speak to him about the behaviour that was inappropriate or hurtful. We cannot leave him in there long, else he simply won't remember why he was there (and sometimes still doesn't just after a few minutes, depending on the state he is in at the time).

He has comprehension issues though, and the prospect of most negative consequences are just not getting through. The only thing that he does recognise is "no time on the laptop, Wii, or DS." Although even that is not really a deterrent at all when he is wound up or sensory overloaded.

ADDISS are a good place to start.

From personal experience I would say have a united front and be consistant. You cant ignore bad behaviour and there should be firm ground rules,but you will need to keep verbally restating these rules, and have a calm chat following the behaviour, as I found that DS really didnt seem to 'get it'. Teenagers are incredibly devious (well DS was) so you have to be cunning too!

Have great sympathy for you

I've just started on the magic 123 parenting course that our local CAMHS are running. It's particularly aimed at parents of children with ADHD/ASD/ODD etc. only been to the first session which is delivered by the ADHD nurse. Got 3 more to go to. It's very interesting. I wonder if anything like this is run in your area? It's about not getting dragged in to the debates and arguments and also realising that kids with attention difficulties need short instructions not a lecture etc.