I could cry for DS1.

[Voidka]

DS1 has AS and is very immature for his age.

He has had a best friend for a while who appears to be his only real friend. He came home tonight so upset because this boy had invited another classmate out for his birthday dinner.

DS just cant understand why he didnt invite him instead, and although I have tried to explain he is devastated and we have already had the usual trying to get out of going to school tactics starting.

It sounds so trivial posting it, but I knew you would all understand and its like the end of the world to DS - might have got a pasting on the main boards though.

Poor you ,poor boy I feel for you both. No it is not trivial and it hurts and it goes on for ever. Just tell him you think he is wonderful. (see my earlier post)

Poor little love

Oh that is just so sad :( I really feel for both of you xxx

that is so awful. i would be devastated too. i feel like crying for you both.

could you and him go out for a special dinner? not the same i know, but only thing that springs to mind.

big hugs.

That is so sad, it's painful when this happens

Last year, DS was the only boy from his year group not to be invited to a infants party (it's a very small school so it couldn't have been anything other than deliberate).

It stung for a week or two (DS got over the pain far quicker than I did ) but a few months down the line it really doesn't matter to either of us. I know that doesn't help right now, but wanted to let you know you're not alone and I understand how horrid this must feel.

FF x

Thirteen - we are going to his favourite carvery tomorrow - great minds :)

It really hurts, and that pain might end up being the end of the friendship. Though I'd guess the boy still likes your ds, but doesn't rely on him as his best and only friend.

My ds1 was mystified by how his sister's complicated little girl friendships worked till we went through it again and again with football & star wars cards and doctor who toys (comparing things like being funny with strength points, kindness with attack ratings etc). He hasn't yet really twigged that older boy friendships are transactional as well, but 'gets' that football skills are important.

Could your ds cope with being a 'second-best-friend'? 13's possibly just young enough for a supervised brief half-term activity, or maybe school can try to manufacture some friendship opportunities? The nas circle of friends leaflet is worth a look.

Oh dear, that's sad. So many of us are in this position.

My son's 11, with asd and OCD. He so wants to have friends but he just finds it terribly hard. Last year, he had one friend, a boy in his class. He was often at our house and it didn't bother me that my ds didn't get a recipricol invite. Sadly, this other boy has, as the SENCO politely put it "matured" a good deal, in the past year. He now no longer wants anything to do with my ds, who approaches the other boy and is told to get lost.

SENCO is dealing with it, cause my son's playtimes consist of him circling the playground alone, in the cold, trying to get into a small group of "friends" and being unwelcome. So sad.

He's a clever by, very kind, good sense of humour....but he is socially clumsy/"weird".

His class has had (presumably) 29 birthdays in the past year.... He has been invited to one party. Says it all, really.

Chin up. It IS hard and I feel for you and him. Hope you enjoyed the carvery!