3 yr old daughter about 1 year delayed

[KwaziiHunt]

I have a DD who is 3.2. She has been under observation by a speech therapist since June.
The speech therapist feels that she is about a year behind on her development over all. So, she does have a speech delay, but it is actually abut right for her development in terms of understanding and play etc. Her movement is also quite delayed (she can just about run, but cannot jump or hop). I have been told she is hyper mobile, so this may well have an impact on this.

The speech therapist wanted to refer her to a pediatrician as she couldn't diagnose a delay and as we have private medical cover we saw one pretty quickly. She didn't really do any tests, but said she was fine, but did have a speech delay.

I know that she is delayed. She is progressing (she now says 3 words in a row, but they are very difficult to understand), but her play and understanding is behind her peers.

She goes to pre school, which she adores and is very happy there. The SEN co ordinator from the local children's centre observed her last week and I haven't spoken to her yet, but pre school have indicated that she agrees that she is quite behind.

I go between panic about the lack of intervention and wait and see approach and wondering if this is my fault, to just wanting the world to leave her alone and feeling like she will catch up in her own time.

I'm not really sure what the point of this post is. I just feel very lonely with this. I don't know anyone else who's child is 'behind', and don't have any idea whether she will catch up or if there is something more substantial wrong.

Does anyone else have a child, who has nothing specific, is just delayed?

alice, if your DD will need a lot of support at school (and it sounds like it), then I would get the ball rolling for a statement. the whole process takes at least 26 weeks...

Nothing has ever been mentioned regarding autism. I had a meeting with the nursery head teacher who said that they will be doing some one on one work with him. If things don't improve then he will be referred to a child psychologist before reception. I asked if he would get kept behind a year but she said they don't do that anymore and he would get extra help. I have another meeting due this month so I'm hoping there is an improvement.
I'm really concerned about him not interacting much with other children as I want him to fit in better. He also doesn't like strange people talking to him and will cry if they get too close. He has been fine with his teachers though.
Another thing I'd like advice on is the fact he refuses to use a train or bus. He's terrified which leaves me unable to do stuff I'd like to with him. It needs to be at weekend when DH is there with the car. Do I force the issue or leave it a bit until older?

Can you take hium to go and watch the buses or trains and make it exciting, play trains and buses with him at home see if that helps.

I just got back from HV. Apparently my DS doesnt have Autism because he looked at the HV. Also found out there is a years waiting list for speech therapy. Im absolutely gutted.

Im going to ask school what they can do for my DS and what support they can offer. HV made me laugh when she mentioned help getting my DS to sleep in his own bed. For goodness sake he is my 5th DC, I have tried all the techniques and everything was made much worse.

I have two dds with developmental delay. My first is 4 who is about 6m behind. We are having private salt which is helping. The Nhs salt is rubbish imo. She is behind in all spheres, not just speech.

My other dd is 2.5 and I am very worried about her. She doesn't talk at all, seems to be in a world of her own but seems fine in every other area. Any ones dd/ds like this?

We are considering Private SALT but i am of course worried aboout the expense. Its not like we have oodles of spare cash.

We are still gutted its a 1 year waiting list for NHS. Its a joke surely. Kids need help today...and i dont just mean my DS i mean everyones.

I am with the NHS SALT and got seen relatively straight away. Within a month. I am in Berkshire. They do it in blocks and I'm due my second block on 24 Feb. I must admit though that if I could afford private I would. I don't feel they do that much and is rushed but I may be wrong as I don't know how much more going private would do.

I just dont want to wait a year for the initial assessment as to me its ridiculous any child should have to wait that long. And i am not just talking about my DC i mean anyones DC.

My DS is at 21 months with regarding his speech therefore the sooner we get him seen and assessed the better, also I feel OH and myself would actually have an expert to show us what to do.

Woke up feeling awful this morning, nerves are back. DD is sick off school so she is going to have to wait in the car with DH whilst i take him in for his appointment...just hope there isnt the 4 hour wait as it states on the letter if he needs treatment he will be there for 4 hours. GULP.

Once again DD is pushed aside and i feel damn guilty that she isnt at home on the sofa snuggled up with me :(

returnvisit, my DD (now aged 3.5 yrs) was very similar to your DD. She is very slowly improving with regards to speech and social engagement but she is definately delayed by at least 12 months and we don't have any answers as to why. Autism has of course come up but the paed we see feels she doesn't meet the criteria for an ASD diagnosis as she has no problems with changes in routine, rigid behaviour or meltdowns.
It's a waiting game. I am hoping that with additional support (some SALT would be nice!) that she will manage to bridge the gap with her peers. She starts reception in September and I am in knots about it already.

Returnvisit,
My dd is as you describe. In a world if her own. She is getting better as she gets older. But it is still hard to get her to focus on me when I am trying to ask her something. She is very sociable and lives people and is very affectionate, but it is all done on her terms. If that make sense?

kwazzii, my own DD is very affectionate too. It's not just on her terms. She will recieve hugs and kisses happily. She is completely indifferent to the other children in her nursery class though and interacts only with the teachers and only on her terms.

Our dd's do sound very similar Alice.
I have a DS who is August born so I do undetstand your concerns. It is such a shame they are so inflexible in this country. Your dd could really benefit from being one of the oldest.
However from being in the system schools are good at understanding g the wide variety of needs.

I have still not heard back from the SEN coordinator. Why can't people just call back???

It is so infuriating and rude when people dpn't return calls. It hardly gives you much faith in their professional abilities.
It would have been so much better for DD if she could have another year in preschool. In theory we could do this but it would mean her missing out on reception altogether and going straight to Yr 1 which would be IMO too big a leap in educational terms.
It's looking very likely that she's going to need 1:1 support from a TA.
Whilst this is good I can't help feeling really sad for her. I hate myself for wanting her to just be "normal."
The endless meetings with preschool, appointments with doctors, SALT, psychologists are getting me down.

Oh God I know that feeling. Wanting them to be normal. I hate it when people talk to her in an entirely appropriate way for a 3 year old and I cringe as what they are trying is just beyond her.

My DD is one of the happiest most self contained and independent people I know.
I know plenty of people who are very intelligent and I don't always see happy.
I don't think there is a direct correlation between happy and intellect. And I keep reminding myself that actually what I want for both my children is happiness.

And that can certainly be achieved.

Hospital didnt go well. We have no news, takes us almost 2 hrs to get there we sit around for an hour and then have to go home.

DS is now going to have a check on his growth hormones to see why his growth is slow. Apparently he will be in hospital for a morning and have 3 blood tests in 3 hours and an injection.

Endocrinologist are waiting for the genetisist to complete their tests...
So no further forward...she did say we may never get to the route cause of his delayed development and growth :( but will do all they can to help if he needs a statement.

Now have to see special needs coordinator at school and see what they can offer without a statement...

At least we dont need to go to Leeds for another year, the Dr's cant do anything until our local hospital and the genetics results come through.

Sigh this is so hard to come to terms with.

Can I bump this old thread up? How is everyone doing with their children? DD is now 3.9 yrs and hasn't changed significantly since I last posted. There are a few more words (still very unclear) but more linking of 2 words together, sometimes even 3. She still tends to communicate mainly to ask for things. I long for a little conversation with her.
She is now toilet trained in the day for wees. No2's are proving to be more of a challenge!