Following on from the "I think I might have Aspergers too" thread

[jandymaccomesback]

Quite a few people said they have Aspie traits. What are the advantages of seeking a diagnosis as an adult?

None for me. I know what my quirks are and have developed coping strategies. No-one discriminates against me. A dx would add nothing.

That said, I wouldn't get a dx. Not severe enough, and cope fine.

I don't think I would get a Dx either, as I said before, dodgy childhood with loads of crap would probably be seen as the cause of my issues.

My mother still wont admit that only eating one cereal with the same spoon for 19 years and eating pizza and beans everyday at school for a year is slightly odd.

Although my sister definitely thinks it is.

Dh wants to know for his own sake so he can finally have an answer to why he does what he does

I've kind of accepted I have it, nearly a full house of ASD traits. I do wonder if a diagnosis would make things easier at work and give me some tricks to deal with people. Although generally I cope fairly well, just don't expect me to be life and soul of the party.

My DSIS works in mental health and she's certain I have it too. No idea why it was never picked up on when I was going through hell as a teenager / young adult .

Meglet The likelihood of it being picked up depends abit onyour age, asit has only been recognised comapratively recently. Certainly wouldn't have been heard of when I was at school. I was just "difficult" and "odd",or "highly strung".
Ihave come to the conclusion that there isn't much to be gained for me in having a diagnosis because I have just gradually realised how much like me DS is.
Interestingly all the people I have known who were diagnosed as adults are men.

I started the other thread and I won't be lookign for a DX. I have managed to "pass as normal" but it is only through seeking dx for DS that I have come to realise that most people don't find it hard to socialise, keep in contact with people, know subjects inside and out. Not sure what I will be doing with my newfound knowledge apart from try to understand myself more....

I think it was my mum that spotted it before me when I was first talking to her about DS and I had her say "hes so like you were when you were small"

Only difference between us is he gets aggressive (in a loud way not violent) when its too much whilst when young I used to hide or pretend I was invisible.

My family are used to my ways and there is a little bit of AS in all of us to some extent. I dont think a dx would help me as I have learnt my own coping stratagies over the years. Turned to working for myself so I dont have to go to the dinner and dances and DH understands me enough not to push it when I am having a bad day and the inlaws think I am a difficult cow most of the time lol

I think what helps though is I dont blame myself or beat myself up when I dont feel right anymore.

I can cope with being on the spectrum, as I think we have superior intelligence in many areas. What I can't cope with are the associated anxiety disorders:(

Myself and my mother: social phobia (emetophobia)
Sister: OCD and eating disorders

Funnily enough, it is the aspie women in my family who seem to have anxiety issues, perhaps it is the added pressure of being forced to fit in socially. I think men/boys have an easier time being 'different'

AS - apart from the female family member stuff (which doesn't apply) I could have written that word for word. My partner, who has more traits and is less sociable than me, has had a far easier time of it in the workplace than me, noone has ever expected him to change his personality, whereas I have been cajoled into being more "dynamic" or groomed.

I don't want to go for a formal diagnosis, as I already have mental health labels, and I only would want a diagnosis to feel better about myself rather than for practical reasons (services, telling employers). A clinic psych I was seeing for other mh issues has agreed that I have at the very least bagfuls of traits, if not mild AS, which is enough for my purpose.

Intresting thread .

I think ive got a few AS behaviours ...tbh im not that good with meeting new people in a social setting .
. Love love love computers . Get very focused , almost to the stage of obsession . .. then switch focus onto something else and it starts all over .

I also think DH is AS ....He has ridgid routeen ... has certain food he eats , can count faster than a calculator , even great long accounts that would take me half an hour to do , he does in about 5 seconds. .

He knows every mobile phone number , in the house ... , and he also remembers phone numbers i had 8 years ago.

He remembers postcodes for every house he ever lived in.

He knows every registration number of family members cars .< ours , his brothers , his mum and dads , his dead granparents cars > . When i say every car reg ...i actually mean every car reg , make ,model and colour and when the got it and how long they kept it. FROM WHEN HE WAS TWO YEARS OLD. !!!!
Thats 40 years worth of cars !.

Ds4 is showing signs of brilliance at maths , and obsession about dinosaurs , but hes NT .

Surprising that only Dd4 is dx ASD .

I don't think it's worth it for me either now. It would, however, have saved me bloody years of misery if I'd had a dx as a child though which is how I know how important it is that I keep fighting for ds2.

I knew there was something wrong, knew that I was different and couldn't understand how everyone else found living in the world so easy. It's like it had been constructed just to torture me.

This only got better as I got more control over my life very gradually. I am now 41 and am very grateful for a very understanding dh. I'm hoping the ds2 will be able to go to school full time at some point soon so that I can concentrate on building my own business. Never going back to working for someone else .

"I think men/boys have an easier time being 'different'"
Not sure if that is true, as men do seem to seek a diagnosis as adults. Maybe it depends on the work they end up doing, and the people they work with.

Thanks to whoever recommended "Aspergirls". It has helped me to understand a lot more about myself. Would recommend it to others who think they might be Aspie.