Can I get help for DD with social skills on the NHS?

[detoxneedednow]

Hi everyone

As some of you may know, i've been at the 'wait and see' stage for a while now. Dd has been showing certain autistic traits since she was about 2. Her main problem at that age was with her behaviour. Daily mega and nightmarish tantrums. Then it was her communcation skills which seemed to be behind but we got her seen by a SALT and they didn't agree that she was behind. Pre school thought that her social skills were behind, as did we, but she improved enormously over the year she was there. She's doing very well overall at school and again, she's improved so much over the past year since starting. Especially academically.

I don't want to go into too much detail as i've posted on here so many times about my dd, so I don't want to repeat myself too much. However, if anyone hasn't heard before, I don't mind answering any questions about her 'traits'.

My question is, if my dd isn't behind academically or communicatively(apparently) and her problems are purely with her social skills, why would she benefit from a diagnosis. We can't afford to go private right now, so is there a program available on the NHS specifically designed to help children with their social skills?

Thanks for reading. Would really appreciate some advice/experience.

School should help her with her social skills.

They should have specific interventions they can put her on.

She won't need a dx to go on these interventions.

She will need a school who run them, and a school who thinks she needs them.

Your local NAS group may also run a Saturday club or such like to help. This is nothing to do with the NHS.

The school can use P scales to score social skills, there is a specific p scale for social. You should encourage them to use this as then they have to show progress and put it on IEP etc.
Social services eg inclusion officers may run some social skills groups or local voluntary groups may do youth clubs etc. SALT do sometimes run them in schools but more often just provide advice to schools to run them.
Mostly schools can find out themselves as the SALT advice is usually just a generic programme eg Black Sheep or Ginger Bear are two I know are used. I have been fairly rude about these on here in the past as DS is far too severe for these sort of programmes to be of any use, but for less severely affected children they may be more useful. Running lunch clubs can also be a way of helping children who find the playground hard going.

Thanks Indigo.

I can always rely on you!

I suppose I was just a little confused because i've heard about private programs which help with social skills, so I guess I just wondered whether it was something you could recieve without paying a fortune.

programmes even

Agnes, I don't know anything about Ginger Bear, but Black Sheep pictures are awful (at least the ones I've been given, which to be fair might be a long way down the photocopy chain). Even I can't discriminate with those.

And really, tools are only as good as the person using them.

My DS sounds similar, but he has a dx of Social Communication Disorder or delay. Also has ASD traits, but didn't score highly enough on ADOS to get an ASD dx, so SCD is the next one down, IYSWIM.

The benefit to us is he gets 5 hours support at school - a drop in the ocean compared to the support that DCs with more complex needs have, but for us that's a lot of good support he's getting in his new school (they've put together 2 5 hour packages and employed a TA for every morning). I think the thing is, there's a dx and signed-off support - the way things are going just now, while a good school may start programmes, clubs etc if there's no dx these run a higher risk of being cut.

but that's my opinion and I am very pro-dx for a lot of reasons. But mainly because I can see a time coming when kids without dx's will get nowt.

Also, we do ABA with him, very much ABA-lite (and have a consultant who specialises in what she calls 'grey area children), we pay for that ourselves but I find it fantastic. You could consider something like that, but it is dear.

Thanks wilson.

I completely understand what you're saying. I am also pro diagnosis, but i'm just concerned that a lot of dc's are being wrongly diagnosed for different reasons, which I don't want to start a debate over tbh. I think that's probably wise

Do you mind if I ask what specific traits your ds has and why does he struggle socially? Would be interesting to compare.

Being on 'own agenda' and requiring control in most situations - so finds reciprocal play impossible.

No ability to read body language - so when bigger kids take the piss he nods and smiles along.

Inability to start interactions on a verbal level - so says 'hi' by running up and smiling, then running away, initiating chasing games basically. Which most of his peers have now grown out of. This is my main issue at the moment, his peers suddenly seem to have lept forward in terms of the conversations they can have.

Problems with planning, sequencing, organising, following instructions, loud noises (so a lot of sensory things in there, but at a low level)

Quite a lot of physical/co-ordination issues (but no OT because there is no frickin OT available)

Quirky speech constructions and patterns.

Inability to 'switch streams' in a conversation - so you ask how was school, he embarks on a list of things, you say, oh how did thing A go, he can't answer that until he's finished the list.

Do you mind if I stop now

FWIW I feel his dx is bang on. But I don't come across many kids who have that dx.

Thanks wilson.

Sorry if it upset you atall listing your ds's difficulties. If it helps atall, he does sound very similar to my dd.

My dd will also do the running up and running away trick, almost as a way of saying hello. Dd also struggles to ride a bike or use a scooter. She will manage to cycle maybe down our path, but then she says it's too difficult and will hop off in a bit of a rage. She has only just started to steer, she used to just go wherever the bike took her because she was so focused on pedaling.

The noise sensitivity which you mentioned dd never really had, but recently i've noticed a change. She doesn't freak out, but she will say "I don't like that noise". She's more sensitive to smell. Often when i'm cooking in the evening she will have to close the door and she says she feels sick. I'm assuming it's not just a reflection on my cooking ability For example when frying onions or other strong smells she can't stand it. She's also able to identify smells which are too weak for most people to recognise.

Her speech pattern is definitely the biggest issue for me. Very repeative and random. Out of context, or stating the obvious, such as, "i'm a girl and you're a lady" or "I'm a girl all the time aren't I". She tends to use learnt phraises rather than putting together sentences or questions herself. For example she saw a school mate at the park a few months back and said the girls name to get her attention and then said "well fancy that!" I had to laugh at the time because it to be fair was quite funny, but deep down I knew people were thinking that was a little odd. Then of course her behaviour in general became very 'strange' and eventually I had to take her away kicking and screaming I do have to admit I will avoid certain places now because I can't handle her on my own and I can't stand the constant jumping and tiwrling that she does.

To sum up though really, she just stands out. It's not always easy to put my finger on why. I'm so scared though because she's at that age now where she can't hide behind her general immaturity for much longer.

We really can't afford to go private atall right now..........for anything. We're struggling to pay bills and buy her clothes that she needs recently. Dp's is self employed and his business has taken a dramatic nose dive

I have never heard of the dx your ds has actually. What aspects did he score too high not to be diagnosed as having ASD? Again, if you don't mind me asking.

Or score too low depending on how the assessment is carried out. Sorry i'm completely ignorant to the assessment process

It is the SLT who run social skills groups where i am, we had to send DS to one after school (which he hated!). To be honest they were a bit rubbish, the content could be replicated by anyone with a lick of common sense and some good childrens books about manners or sharing.

I'm not really sure about the specifics of the assessment I did get a report and will try to dig it out of the ginormous folder of doom. The thing is, it's all a matter of degree - you have to hit highly enough on all the things they look at to get that specific dx. He was definitely nearly there on a number of things, but not quite high enough to go 'aha, that's ASD.' having said that, I don't think he was NT on anything either. Basically, for us - we have a child who is not NT and who doesn't have autism. But a lot of what he does looks and feels like autism, so similar strategies work, and it's a fairly useful shorthand to use.

The part of your post about speech patterns - I could have written that!

Are you due to see the pead again soon? Have they talked about ADOS?

Hi wilson

Sorry, I've heard people talking about ADOS all the time, but i've no idea what it is. With regards to seeing a paed, we haven't seen one atall yet. The furthest that we've gone is being seen by a HV countless amounts of times who didn't think that there was a problem. Although after coming on here a few years ago for the first time, it became obvious that unless it's glaringly obvious, then they always just dismiss it as "one to watch". She's seen a SALT several times, but they again didn't think that there was a problem. They even said that in certain things she was ahead. She is definitely not ahead in her speech atall. Even my mum agrees with me on that one. My mum is in the "she'll grow out of it" or "it's just her personality" school of thinking. Obviously I don't always disagree, otherwise I would have already got her assessed I suppose.

How does your ds respond to diet changes? Ie, do you notice a change in his behaviour when he's eating healthier. Is he on any vitamins or suppliments? If so, have they helped?

Thank you by the way, for all you advice

your

You need to get to a Pead I think. I fear you are being fobbed off.

I don't do diet or supplements - DS eats a fairly limited range but it's mostly healthy stuff, however his control issues means changing the range or taking a supp would be beyond him at present. I live in hope though and 'diet' is one of my mid-to-long term goals... Ever hopeful....