Getting help now but worried about the outcome and have I done the right thing getting professionals involved :(

[Hai1988]

Hiya A few of you may of seen my post yesterday about needed help about what to do about my DS.

Well today I called the school nurses and they then spoken to DS's teacher and got back to me saying the teacher is now because I have also shown concern is gonna get in touch with the Educational psychologists

I don't know how I feel about his on the plus side we are getting help and gonna find out if there is something behind DS's behaviour, but also im thinking was it really that bad could I of dealt with these issues without professionals sticking there noses in.

I feel DH will not like the idea of Educational psychologists and feel I am over reacting as in the past he has said its just DS being himself there is nothing wrong, (although i feel he is buiring himself in the sand as he grew up with a sister with adhd and knows how hard it can be.

Needs reasurance that I have done the right thing and if anyone has had experiance with Educational psychologists could you tell me a bit about what they do?

All an educational psychologist does is deal with educational problems.

i.e. he makes recommendations to school about anything they can do to help your child access learning in the classroom

They don't care at all about anything else.

The do all sorts of standardised test to test your child's ability in areas like cognitive ability, memory, reading etc.

You can't help your child 'access learning in the classroom'. Only the teacher can. And if the teacher needs help - she asks the EP (or SENCO)

Professionals really don't 'stick their noses in'. They do a whole lot of standardised tests and write a standardised report with obvious, common sense recommendations.

As Indigo says, the EP will do some observations and maybe some testing and then give the teacher some recommendations. Those recommendations may or may not involve additional support in the classroom, like a classroom assistant sitting with DS for a particular lesson. A lot of what is recommended will depend on what school has budget for - eg the EP is not going to recommend DS gets 30 hours 1 to 1 support even if that is what is needed because the school won't have budget for this.

And that's that. An EP doesn't diagnose. They may suggest referral to other agencies eg Speech therapy, GP (obviously depending on what DS needs are), and I believe they can make referrals on your behalf, but that would only be with your permission.

They should discuss their findings fully with you before any implementation. And of course any findings will then go on file.

Some are great. Some are as much use as a chocolate fireguard.

Once you hand over your child to school or nursery you have NO control over how they are treated or behave. So it's nought to do with your parenting unless you are the ONLY parents I have ever met who can discipline and guide their chiild via telepathy. So unless your name is Mindy and you married Mork stop fretting!

I learnt the hard way that environment makes a massive difference when my son fell apart as he coudn't cope with the school environment at all. The EP looks at what is happening in that school environment and works out how best to help your child learn, thrive and cope in that environment. Home and school are VERY different places!

There are all sorts of potential stressors and barriers to learning in school we just don't deal with at home - (herding a class of 30 across the main road is VERY different to just holding your own child's hand for example).

The educational physch won't give too hoots about your parenting or homelife EXCEPT to perhaps work out how to adapt techniques that you who know your child best use as home to work in an environment of 30+ kids. That's always a good thing.

It's so much easier for everyone if problems at school are identfied and sorted early - the person who finally gets the right help and learns to read at 40 has a much harder life than the one given a wee bit of extra support at 4.

You sound like a great, caring Mum who just wants to see their child happy. Your Hubby sounds protective - if he sees a happier child as a result of his son's teachers having a better idea how to teach him, he'll come round. It's fear of the unknown - so don't be scared to ask questions!

Thanks everyone,
bochead thanks for that post just needed someone to tell me that I am doing the right thing by getting "outsiders" involved.

You have my DH down to a T there, very protective is the word.

You have done the right thing.
Our EP was great and said she was there to help us and the school.

Agree, you've done the right thing. I felt the same when we brought in the EP for ds1, but I ended up absolutely loving the woman and she was instrumental in changing things for him at school that made an instant difference to how he coped.

IMO and IME you are vastly overestimating what involved professionals will actually DO!

Any worthwhile intervention is almost always lead and directed and demanded by the parent, not the other way around.