Moondog/working - S&LT complaint continues

[appropriatelytrained]

Briefly, I have a complaint about S&LT and have been trying to get a record of a meeting held without our knowledge in which S&LT, school and LA all tried to invent a make believe programme for DS pre-Tribunal.

I have been chasing records since July. Last thing I heard, was from some manager who said no records exist as it was just a meeting to discuss Tribunal processes with no therapeutic outcome.

This contradicted what I had already been told about the meeting by the head of S&LT.

DS's records have arrived and there is indeed, now, a note of the meeting (although a partial one).

I have now got the Chief Exec involved and it has been referred to the head of women and children's services to investigate. I have been offered a meeting at home [not too comfortable with that].

Any ideas about the best way to deal with this. I definitely want someone independent with me (not PALS as they are part of the complaint!) so who?

My key concern is to try and change future practices so reports are not released without parental consent, meetings are not held behind parents' backs, records are not concealed and the child remains the focus of care rather than a service level agreement with the LA.

Don't agree to a meeting at home. They'll find something to initiate a SS investigation. If it has to be a homely environment what about their homes?

I would hope they wouldn't, but... well. I think it would be best to have the meeting on your terms.

Unfortunately as I am sure you are aware, when it comes to record-keeping, if it isn't written down, it didn't happen. This works well when people have a complaint that x or y didn't happen, but not so much so when it did, but was inaccurately recorded afaik.

I suspect there is no record of their discussion at that meeting. I suspect that it would be very hard to prove that any discussion was not about the SLA or Tribunal processes, or was anything other than informal. Do you feel you have enough evidence (as you probably know more than I do about that side of things?) Are there people in the setting that can testify to the fact a programme was not in place etc?

Sorry it is like this for you.

Thanks working.

The thing is they ignored the request for records, then said there were none and then have produced a kind of record - so they either had records or they didn't and if they did (and they clearly did) they should have produced then when requested.

There are lots of other issues but the key point is, on their own admission, they already spent time meeting and sharing info with other people without my consent and not for my son's benefit.

I'm an SLT

I'm confused why somebody is telling you not to let them into your house because they'll find something to tell SS about.

Are SS concerned about your child? I don't get this impression from your post. Home visits are offered because it's perceived as more convenient for the parent. I think they're tying to be helpful.

I'm astounded somebody has suggested they'll tell SS something about you

moondag, Do you belong to a Parent/Carer Council or Forum? There might be someone there who could support you.

Loon,, the difficulty is that services underestimate the bad feeling amongst parents. There is no trust. The service hears the parents saying 'I feel uncomfortable coming to formal meetings across a board room table' and thinks 'we'll go to her/him then'. Unfortunately, they are taking it from one eextreem to another. What is needed is a comfortable, impartial meeting place.

sorry, moondog

soory, appropriatelytrained...getting confused now!

Loon, there is a bigger picture for Appropriately and dirty tricks have already been played. If I tell you that my LA instigated a SS investigation as well as being involved at some level in allegations that I was claiming DLA fraudulently then you'd probably think I am insane.

However during both experiences I receive support from charities that confirmed it is not uncommon and in fact on the increase.

That people like you would believe I am crazy before believing that agencies would do this is why they get away with it. If I were a betting woman I would bet on the odds that a SS investigation was not on the cards but in Appropriately's situation I wouldn't get anywhere near risking any criticism of her home management.

I agree with Leonie and Star. Bad things can happen .

Another one who has "been there". Do not under any circumstances agree to a meeting in your home - PLEASE. Sad to say but sometimes the "professionals" do not have your child's best interests at heart, as the priority becomes protecting their own.

In light of the experiences you have had you need to make self-protection your first priority. Let your home remain your sanctuary - these people have put your family through enough.

A future social services investigation is the perfect way to discredit & distract you if timed correctly. Something as trivial as leaving cupcakes to cool on the side uncovered can and will be used as evidence against you in the wrong scenario.

The tax payer pays for offices & meeting rooms for these people - meet there or on neutral ground and ALWAYS take a witness, (the witness should never be on their payroll).

Thanks everyone.

I must admit I hadn't thought of any SS angle to this - how scary!

I think it is a meeting to discuss hospital practices and it is a formal complaint, and my perspective would be that I, personally, would feel much more comfortable with this being dealt with with as much formality as possible.

Even if they are trying to be helpful and accommodating, I think, with my lawyer's head on, it is not a meeting to be conducted in a chatty informal home environment.

You are right - there's a time, place for a homely chat.

The subject matter of this meeting is too serious for that, so needs to be held in a "serious" environment (like a proper meeting room) to reflect it's gravity.

A waffle, a cup of tea and a pat on the head isn't the outcome you want.

We have not had the SS experience. But had the home visit experience. 2 days before we were told the SALT 'was bringing her manager with her' so not just a cosy chat and then the Manager actively looked to criticise and fault our parenting including when DS was asking for his Dad as an avoidance tactic to get out of therapy saying how not letting him get up and go to Dad immediately and making him finish what he was doing (a whole 30 seconds) was basically child abuse and then wrote a lengthy report about how the private therapy we were doing was denying the child time with their natural caregiver and was causing him lasting damage. Letting people into your home when you are in dispute with them is just an excuse for them to bully you behind closed doors.