Well there's a morning i'll never get back

[JaneMare]

Or repeat

I need a rant and hugs please, if anyone's about?

i've just been to see the school nurse, who called me by way of a returned call i made to DDs HV, in September 2011

She (the School Nurse) sat and watched me cry when i told her we were at our wits end with DDs (suspect ASD) sleep issues, that how we had such a rigid routine that even the phone ringing can knock things out of kilter and set us back one hour....

she gave me a printed sheet on how to set a bedtime routine

The nurse also asked if there was any family members local who could take DD to theirs to give us (DH, adult DS and I) a bit of a breather...

this morning, before the appt, i was talking to my mother - explaining that DDs school had finally put an IEP and SA into place for her, how it was progressing and so on...she replied by telling me she'd seen a man out jogging with 'obvious Special Needs, he had such a funny run'

WTAF!

why can't we divorce our parents?

sorry, the OP is totally self-indulgent

feel free to ignore, will get over myself after a coffee

Make sure you have a big fat piece of cake or a choccy biscuit with that coffee.
Unfortunately our parents are of a different generation and some of them are just stuck in a time warp! They either can't or don't want to understand as they often have difficulty accepting that their Grandchild has a 'disability'.

Mind you the school nurse doesn't sound any better!!!!

Can't offer any advice over sleep issues I'm afraid but I do know how much harder it is to cope when you are tired. I have experienced this when DD ha been ill. Any chance you can do 'shifts' with the childcare between you and DH at the weekends so that one of you can get some extra sleep?

Thanks bigbluebus

have managed a packet of mini cookies (meant to trying to lose a few inches ) DH and i are really good at playing tag-team really, just sometimes it gets you down doesn't it?

i wish i could be a generous as you as to the explanation of my mother's comments, but she reads the DM, and believes it

My parents and In-laws live too far away to be involved in the daily issues surrounding my DD & DS. I only tell them things on a 'need to know' basis as they are in their 80's now so definitely from a generation where my DD woud have been institutionalised and DS would probably have got a 'good hiding' for his behaviour (has HF ASD).

Hopefully our generation will be more tolerant of disability although whilst the Daily Mail exists it's hard to imagine how that will happen!

JaneMare

Sounds like your mother is in denial.

If you have not already done so you need to ask your GP to refer you to a developmental paed. Neither the school nurse nor the HV have been or will be of any real assistance here to you.

The school here have acted very shabbily to my mind. If the IEP was also presented to you as a fait accompli, this is also poor practice on the part of the school. IEPs should be gone through termly with the SENCO and parent/s present.

School Action will bring with it minimal support which is also not legally binding and can be curtailed.

Hi Attila (we've 'spoken before, i've had a NC)

we're waiting for our Paed appt to come through, done the initial assessments, behavioural dev tick sheets, sensory questionnaire etc

We got a referral to CAMHS by going to our GP in total crisis we'd reached the point where we were on total lockdown at home, no trips out, DD wasn't going to school (only for 3 days, but this was enough for me, she's only 4.7yrs) i called the HV in the 1st instance for a bit of help - the nurse has said she can be a link to school - i shan't be contacting her for anything in the near future, rest assured!

DD's IEP has only been in place for a couple of weeks, and is ongoing - sorry if i gave the impression otherwise.

While you can't divorce your parents - you can move a long way away from them :)

That's what we did......

You can choose how much you speak to your parents - and what about.

that's very true Indigo - we're a bit tied to where we live for now, but a move is certainly on the cards in the not too distant future.

i do choose how much i speak to my mother, she came up today unannounced and i was on my way out to the appt..you know some people catch you unawares? they appear interested - you get that glimmer of light that they've understood, then hit you with the body-blow of sheer ignorance.. she's one of those.

My mum is one of those to jane, she lulls me into a false sense of security sometimes by appearing to understand Dd3, then a minute later she will say something like " you need to be firm with her"!!

It drives me mad so i hardly ever phone her any more.

School nurse sounds useless, sorry you are having such a hard time.

I can see how annoying and upsetting this is. When I said how well dd2 was doing at school - my gran said but she can't really stay at a normal school can she? She can't do normal things. I was utterly crushed.