My DS has an appointment at the doctors in a couple of weeks time.
It has been suggested to me by several people that he might have dyspraxia. I'm doubtful, but I feel I need to speak to someone about it so that I'm not letting him down if he has. He is 13 but these issues have been present for his whole life. There is nothing here that has just come about in the past couple of years so cannot be attributed to an unco-operative teen. He really does try.
He finds organising himself a bit difficult - but not chronically so. What does this look like in a child/person with dyspraxia?
His fine motor skills are ok, but gross motor skills are quite poor. Examples: it took him years to learn to ride a bike, he still can't do it very well and so chooses not to because he finds it difficult to pedal/not fall off or fly over the handlebars.
He did have swimming lessons and whilst he did learn, he really struggled and now we have stopped because he wasn't enjoying it, wasn't progressing and found it very difficult to just do it. It took him about 18 months to get his 10 metre badge. He did get to his 200m but his stroke was poor and he found it difficult to do the distance in the allocated time. The teacher did say he found coordination very difficult ? he could do arms (sort of) or legs (sort of) but really struggled trying to put the two together.
He had a fitness assessment at school recently and failed miserably. Not because he was unfit (as such, although he probably is because he finds physical things so difficult), he walks 2 miles to school and back but more because he couldn't follow the quite simple instructions that the others had no problem with. Eg crouch and jump up into a star jump. Even with it being demonstrated to him, he couldn't do it.
He falls over a lot, he has fallen down the stairs at secondary school a few times (not the whole flight, just the last few), fallen down the embankment, walked into walls damaging his clothes... all because he's "clumsy".
He has lost teeth through falling from a standing start and landing flat on his face. If he falls he doesn't put his hands out to protect himself, he just falls. He was permanently tripping and falling as a young child and now tends to avoid running because he falls. My mum thinks part of this is because I restricted his opportunity to run freely when he was younger, except that when I pointed out that I did so because we spent so much time applying cold compresses to split lips and grazed cheeks that it worried me. She agreed.
I put it down to just everyday children's bumps and accidents until I started comparing it with other parents and our second child and realised that he, not only had more accidents as a young child, but that he falls and trips and has poorer physical co-ordination than his much younger sister.
He has great trouble using swings - he can't really, and he can't use zip wires - a lot of them require a bit of a jump forward and grab with your legs action but he can't do it and ends up on the floor every time. The worst thing is, I know it's going to happen. I try and give him some tips and support but it happens every time without fail and he finds it embarrassing when his younger sister and other kids can do it so easily.
He finds cooking difficult because he needs to have every step spelt out to him. I can't just say "ok add the eggs" because he looks blankly at me. I have to say "take one of the eggs.... tap it on the side of the bowl... empty it into the bowl... but the egg shell down". I can't work out if he's just choosing to not think it for himself, or is unable to work out what to do next (even though he's done it many times before) would this even been due to dyspraxia? An example, I left him and his sister baking some biscuits a couple of weeks ago. I could hear all the "can you pass me the..." and instructions going between them and the all explanations/directions were coming from his 5 year old sister who explained (again) how to crack an egg, sieve the flour, roll out the dough... that sort of thing. She might need some support because she is 5 but she is still more capable than he is relatively.
He's been identified as G&T in music for his understanding, yet is struggling beyond belief with learning an instrument, trying to get his hands in the right position and do what they need to do. He hasn?t done grade 1 yet. His musicality is good, but he finds it hard to play an instrument.
He doesn't have dyslexia, his fine motor skills are ok and he draws perfectly well. Although he does find tying shoe laces very difficult. And brushing his teeth; that really worries me - he has been shown and shown and does try. I've watched him, but he just can't seem to do it.
Before he started school, I just assumed that the school would pick it up if there was anything wrong. I've since learned that this isn't the case - teachers aren't experts in all aspects of child development!! But I'm just not sure if he's "just a bit clumsy" or if it's something more.
I'm a bit nervous about going to the dr's, tbh. Are they going to take me seriously? Am I even highlighting a real issue? Is this just the way he is, but there's no diagnosable reason for it? There isn?t even a huge amount on his medical records (obviously for his teeth there is) but we have just dealt with the other things using basic first aid or it's not been necessary. He's not an ill child so hasn't been to the doctors for anything for about 6 years.
Academically he's doing fine so no issues there - he gets glowing reports from school so I've never really felt that he had any 'problems' as such and assumed that he was just a late developer physically and it would come. But a lot of it isn't. I don't want to give him a label, but I don't want him to feel that if there is a reason for his 'clumsiness', he's just 'rubbish' at doing stuff. He gets plenty of opportunities - has done archery with scouts etc but he is very aware that he finds things harder than his peers and is quite embarrassed about it. He knows I have the appointment and is pleased. He won't be coming with me for the appointment because I'd rather discuss it with the dr in private.
I don't want to look like I'm asking for my child to be diagnosed with something if he definitely doesn't have it, but I don't want to let him down if he does. I understand that, like most things, dyspraxia is a spectrum disorder and that there are different symptoms but is there anyone who can give me some gut responses to what I've written - any at all! I would really appreciate your input.
Thank you.