Dyspaxia or aspergers?? (help)

[LadySybilDeChocolate]

Ds is 12 and is undergoing assessments with the community paediatrician. His school and their GP asked for this to be done, he was struggling at the start of the academic year, they think he's on the autistic spectrum (although things have improved) and have referred him querying this. The community paediatrician was confused at this, his eye contact was excellent, he was articulate and told her he found the school GP intimidating. With me so far?

His problems:
Lack of social skills. He can be taught these though but it's hard going as he argues and wants to analyse. He can come across as abrupt. He can take things laterally sometimes but can understand metaphor and sarcasm. His sense of humour is good. His social chat with his friends is limited to the things which they have in common. He doesn't ask what they are doing at the weekend/holidays, I ask him why and he says that this isn't the sort of thing that children do.
Very mild obsessions but can be distracted easily.
Lack of co-ordination so is very clumsy. Can't use a knife easily, can't unfasten/fasten tight buttons (on jeans). Falls over, has very flat feet which are painful. Looks as though he goes out of his way to knock things over but he doesn't.
He's very disorganised, always losing things which are in front of him/where he's already checked.
Taste and touch sensitive, dislikes light tickling as he says it's painful.
Very, very bright.

As a baby he was happy. Would smile a lot, laugh a lot, hold hands up to be picked up. Eye contact was good. Babbled at 4 months, started talking (one word) at 6 months, short sentences at 12 months. Was able to walk at 10 months but he didn't crawl. Pretend play was limited as he was too busy asking questions. He was a very cuddly baby and child, he still is. He's affectionate, empathetic and caring. He has a strong sense of right and wrong and prefers to make very good friends rather then fickle friends. I can change plans at the drop of a hat and he doesn't moan, he has no routines (says they are too organised).

I'm and could do with some help please. Thank you

I was told by my DS's paed that it is common to have dyspraxia if you have asd and vice versa.

The eye contact thing is a bit misleading, some people with ASD have great eye contact, sounds like both to me.

Agreeing with wasuup about eye contact. DS2 has quite severe autism but does have very intense, probing eye contact - we used to joke when he was a baby that he was stealing our souls. Both of my boys can be very cuddly, but their boundaries of personal space are completely non existent.

And along with their ASD, both boys are dyspraxic.

It's a tricky one. Ds1(10) has an official diagnosis of dyspraxia, but definitely has some Aspergers traits. We made the decision that we would seek the diagnosis which would bring him the most help with the things he struggles with most. In his case it's coordination and motor skills. His Aspergers traits are present but they don't impact on his life very much - at the moment anyway. I think the problem is that every individual has a different mix of traits and the actual label isn't always as helpful as looking at the specific profile of the child.

DS sounds quite similar to your son btw, except he's not abrupt, but very long-winded! and doesnt have the sensory sensitivities.

Thank you. The only problem I have with him at home is when I tell him off. He'll try to justify his actions and will argue with me about why he's been told off which makes things worse for him as I will then tell him off for arguing as well. It would make my life less stressful if he could just think about what I've said and apologise. I didn't know that people could have both, the traits do overlap though so it makes sense.