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normal high spirited two and a half year old...or not?

12 replies

fullofregrets · 26/01/2012 18:43

DS is just over two and a half. He is very verbal although only started to put full sentences together after he was two. He is now capable of holding full conversations and he has very good imaginative play where he links experiences or things he as seen or read to what he is doing.

What worries me is how he is with other children. He will play alongside individual children he knows, but not with them. In group of children such as toddler groups he won't play alongside at all. Nor will he speak to them. He won't join in in any group activity and if I try and encourage him he will lie on the floor and scream as though being tortured! He can do actions to songs and knows some by heart, he will happily do these at home with me and his dad but will not when other children are present.

I worry as he should start nursery in September and socially I think he is going to struggle. At home he is quite calm and van concentrate for longish periods but when out he is manic. His only speed is running and he gets very overstimulated. Sleeping has been horrific since he was a newborn as he seems unable to self sooth. The more tired he is the less he will sleep. Even as a newborn the only place he would sleep was in his cot, never in the car or pushchair. Instead he'd scream and scream and scream because he was clearly tired but overstimulated.

Should I be looking for some help for him? Or a professional opinion? Someday I think he's like any other two year old and then I take him somewhere and see other children behaving differently. DS is also something of a perfectionist. If he thinks he can't do something or tries and can't do it immediately he will melt down.

Think for any advice.

OP posts:
fullofregrets · 26/01/2012 18:44

thanks for why advice.

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fullofregrets · 26/01/2012 18:45

any third time lucky!

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defineme · 26/01/2012 18:58

I think it's very hard to tell op.
A very wise mnetter once said to me (on the sn board) that you don't know what the problem is, but you just know your child is harder work than other children.
My ds1 was dx with as at 4yrs and at 2 he hadn't really registered other children other than his baby twin siblings, he would sometimes touch another child's face and say 'is it a girl?'.
His speech was what got him dx-he reversed his prononons (you was I and so on) and this was a classic sign.
He did imaginative play in the sense that he recreated things that had happened at home with his toys and would also do appropriate stuff with cars and trains.
He was a very very fussy eater at this age and quite obsessive about routines. However, he did sleep and he didn't run about manically- but my friend's dd with a dx of adhd does.
It could be anything or nothing.
I made notes of all my concerns and took them to my health visitor when ds was 3, it was a circuitious route via salts,paeds and so on but he was dx at 4. Gps can also refer you to a paed if your hv is unhelpful.
Hope that is helpful rather than worrying.

fullofregrets · 26/01/2012 19:05

Thanks
I wondered about Adhd or ADD as he is so very active. But only when out. At home he is much much much calmer. Out of the house he is a whirlwind. He is unable to wait in queues in shops, pause for me to look at something, basically won't stand still. I know they are all like this sometimes but it is all the time with my DS. He is much harder work than my friend's children.

I had a very difficult stressful pregnancy and my mom has worried me by saying it is bound to have affected DS somehow so now I feel guilty too.

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defineme · 26/01/2012 19:21

Sorry to be harsh but the blame game gets you nowhere! Ds1 might have as because dh was over 40, or my pregnancy was ivf so conceived in state of stress or maybe it's hereditary as several family members have been a bit odd.
But what does it matter? We have to deal with the here and now for the sake of our sanity and our children.Ignore you mum as much as you can.
Ds1 is a different child in different places, at home he can be a tantrumming whirlwind, but he's never misbehaves at school in 5 years-lots of oddness but no tantrums.Sounds like your ds1 is massively stimulated being outside.
Have you tried the NAS website -there's a wealth of information on there and online questionaires that can help.
I would discuss this with a professional like a gp or health visitor.
My ds1 can't queue-it can be nightmarish-onl upside was a queue jumping pass in disneyland!

Chundle · 26/01/2012 20:32

Omg u have described my 2.5 yr dd2 to the letter. From the speech to the actions in songs bit! Everything u have said is same for my dd. We are currently awaiting the ados test for autistic spectrum disorders. Dd1 has adhd so knew something was up with dd2!

fullofregrets · 26/01/2012 20:40

Chundle - did you go through your hv? What is the ados test?

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Chundle · 26/01/2012 20:52

Hi my dd2 was already under a pead as she was born prem. He then referred us to a different paed and the child development centre.
With dd1 I went to gp with list of concerns and he referred. But u can ask hv to come out and assess but they are not always very good

Chundle · 26/01/2012 20:53

Ados is autistic diagnostic observation schedule or something like that. Play based test to test for asd

fullofregrets · 26/01/2012 21:23

Thanks for that.
He is having his slightly belated two and a half year check the week after next so I will mention my concerns to the hv.
I'm not sure whether he just has a more difficult temperament than most children or if it is something more.

What is your dd2's play like? X

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appreciateit · 26/01/2012 21:57

I had a very difficult stressful pregnancy and my mom has worried me by saying it is bound to have affected DS somehow so now I feel guilty too.

I had depression in pregnancy and anger issues and i blame myself so much. My mum said the same ;(

I know how you feel.x

Chundle · 27/01/2012 06:06

Dd is obsessed by trains so she plays with them a lot ahe loves doing puZzles and is verybgood at them. Not much imaginative play

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