Nursery want to refer DS to SALT...feeling worried.

[CaesarSaladNoDressing]

DS is 3.6 and started nursery school in Sept. I discussed his speech with the teacher on his settling in evening and she said we would give him a term and see how he was.
So this morning she told me they wanted to refer him because

50% of the time he doesn't understand instructions, looks blank when asked to do things.
Staff find it hard to understand him
He talks only in the here and now, can't say what he did yesterday
Finds it hard to concentrate in an adult led activity

I asked if they thought the concentration and poor speech were same prob or separate, she said she didn't know and SALT would be able to help.

Obviously agreed to the referral but am feeling really anxious and guilty because I have always thought he was a bit naughty re the instructions and do punish him if he doesn't do as we ask. More guilt as DD is 13 months and I had HG while was pg with her, we also nearly went bankrupt in that time so DS got a bit sidelined during a time where his speech development slowed down and I didn't do much about it, just thought he would catch up

Also a bit panicky as I work in a secondary school and every day work with students with ADHD, behavioural and learning difficulties and see how hard lessons can be for them.
A bit of knowledge is not always a good thing

Any similar experiences good or bad??? Or ideas on how to help him?

Thanks x x x

I know how worrying it must be for you at the moment, but there are such a huge variety of things that can be going on, and finding out now what might be giving the nursery cause for concern, can give you the information to research solutions that can prevent him from becoming a teenager with difficulties, or at least give him coping strategies that left unaddressed will lead to a teenage with difficulties.

It could be something that is very easy to fix, but if it isn't and there is a big job ahead, wouldn't you rather get started asap?

And, there isn't one single parent here that doesn't feel guilty about what did/didn't/might have happened during the pregnancy/birth/early years etc. That way lies madness and isn't going to do him any good as his best chances are with a mother who thinks forward.

You are absolutely right of course
I thought he was doing a bit better so felt a bit shocked that they still want to refer and my imagination just went wild.

I am more worried about the understanding and concentration than the speech part but don't really know much about language acquisition and processing.

Must calm down...

Thank you for quick response x xx

And DH said exactly the same thing about getting started early, I relayed what staff said, all a bit tearfully and he just said "Well that's a good thing they have spotted it and are referring"

Logical thinking is what is needed!

'I am more worried about the understanding and concentration than the speech part but don't really know much about language acquisition and processing'

Well if it turns out that you need to, this is the place to be

And btw, your DH sounds fab. Many of us here find the opposite with our DH's. Many seem to find an identified difficulty in their children reflects on their virility or something and cascade into denial.

Sounds like you're in a good place to get going with any support or therapy that he might need. And try to keep logical and deal with the known, rather than the what ifs. There could be such a variety of reasons for their concern and many will have no long term implications if addressed soon.

Thank you so much.

I know I have gone a bit OTT and also I am aware that my post on this board might seems a bit hasty...(wasn't sure where to put it, keep seeing people getting told off for posting in wrong place!)
I have a good friend who has a DS with cerebral palsy and I know she would give anything to be worrying about a SALT referral instead of fighting the court case for him and managing his 24 hour care. She's amazing.

So plan is to stay logical, don't get carried away with what ifs, wait for recommendations from SALT, do everything I can to help DS when I know how to.

Oh and kiss DH when he gets home for being brilliant

I love a good plan!

Seriously thanks so much, you have really helped x x

This is the right place for any parents that have any concerns about their children and any additional/special needs. There is no hierarchy of need here.

Many many many people have a much tougher time than I do. I've only ever been welcomed by them (when they have the time). And perhaps those of us with less problems, have more time to do the research to share etc. so I think and hope it all evens out!?

There are professionals on this board too. Some with children with needs and some without. I wanna kiss most of them!

Well its nice to feel so welcome

Off to pick up DS via the park with DD but will pop back in a few weeks (or whenever I know more) with how his assessment has gone.

Thanks again x