Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Flip

Original poster

Ping Ping Ping!!!!

22 replies

Triggles · 24/01/2012 18:12

DS2 is literally bouncing off the walls!! Ping! Ping!

He's always active, all over the place, but he has really ramped it up a notch over the past week. I'm not really sure why...I just know it's doing my head in. His focus is completely gone, he is obsessive, not listening, just unbelievably all over the place.

Combine this with DS3's terrible twos tantrums, and I'm coming unglued.

We go tomorrow afternoon to look at a local ss. I can't decide whether I'm happy, nervous, or just scared shitless about it.

I need .

OP posts:

shazian · 24/01/2012 18:15

Good luck for 2morro. Hope ds calms down soon. Have a , you deserve it

TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission · 24/01/2012 18:55

good luck triggles I think I was all 3 of those at once when we went to dd3s

Original poster

Triggles · 24/01/2012 19:02

Oh my. He just had a complete and utter meltdown over a game. I feel shell shocked ever so slightly. He's now up in his room, singing, and reading through the new Argos catalogue. Like a switch, the meltdown is gone for him.

Bring on the wine. And the chinese food, as DH is ordering takeaway.

OP posts:

coff33pot · 24/01/2012 20:50

I blame the weather DS is always worse in the winter than the summer. DS hasnt had a tic all over xmas and now they have come back with a vengence. Best buy was Just Dance 3 though for the energy boost! buying zumba next Also very cheap but large empty water bottles and a bean bag to thump also seems to burn the meltdown out of him. Dog likes to play with one and so I point up bits of the bean back and ask DS to flatten it because its lumpy

Hope you enjoying your wine and chinese! Hope all goes well at your visit tomorrow xx

imogengladheart · 24/01/2012 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Triggles · 24/01/2012 21:28

Thanks. The wine is nice, and I'm full now from the chinese food. Yummmm...

I think DH is starting to slowly come to terms with DS2's disabilities. But I suspect it might be a bit stressful making this decision still.

Will let you all know how the visit to the school went.

OP posts:

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 24/01/2012 21:58

Good luck tomorrow. It embarrasses me to say, but it was the other children at my DS's old SS that freaked me out a bit, back when I was firmly in denial. He actually fitted in really well, of course.

Original poster

Triggles · 25/01/2012 15:59

Well, we have been to the ss. We didn't see the children he'd be in class with, as they were out for the afternoon (which is why we were able to meet with the teacher for his age group today). She gave us a tour of the entire place and talked to us for quite some time. Love love love the place!!! DH & I agreed that we could easily see DS2 thriving there. We're thinking instead of waiting until year 3 that we may have him start there next year for year 2.

Before we make the final decision, I'm going to bring DS2 there for an afternoon to see what he thinks of it.

OP posts:

intothewest · 25/01/2012 16:32

That's really positive;excellent.

It is a good idea to have several visits with you and DS.I did that when I chose the school for my DS.They just brought him into circle time and were great with him straight away.

Hope it works out

TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission · 25/01/2012 17:25

that sounds really positive triggles, pleased for you

Original poster

Triggles · 25/01/2012 17:58

intothewest and ninja yes, we were really pleased with the school and the teacher. She suggested that once we've decided and got it all sorted on paper that it would be a good transition for DS2 to come to a couple playtimes with the children, as then they will be familiar to him when he comes in September (and he to them). Plus it will give the teacher a chance to get to know him a bit before he starts there.

OP posts:

coff33pot · 25/01/2012 19:13

oh thats great! glad it was all positive :)

Original poster

Triggles · 25/01/2012 19:40

coff33pot thanks. Now the nerves of course will set in. Who would ever believe that it is such an emotional upheaval to talk about pulling your child out of MS and putting them in SS?

I had a friend that was a bit horrified that we were considering it. She said she was worried that if he was in a group of children just like him, wouldn't he get worse? She's quite young and literally no exposure to children with SNs other than DS2 (and she's rarely seen him at his worst), so I don't think she quite "gets it" IYSWIM. So I used the opportunity to explain to her about the social gap between DS2 and the other children in his year, and how it was going to widen as he got older, which would make it more difficult for him to feel part of the group as well as making him vulnerable to bullying and such. I think she understands a bit better now. Another friend has a relative at an attached SS for children with more severe disabilities, so she was very positive about the school.

At least DS2's annual review is coming up in March, so we can request he go there for the next school year and it shouldn't be a problem. The SS has already stated that they have a place available for him.

OP posts:

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 25/01/2012 21:32

I'm so pleased! It is a lovely school. I'll just say for the rest of the board how impressed I was by the teenagers I met there a few years ago. They were passionate and articulate about their school and they gave me so much hope for my DS. They have high expectations for their pupils and have a great partnership with the very inclusive MS secondary school next door for those DC able to take GCSEs. I'm glad it sounds like moving him there will be fairly straightforward. Oh, to have a peer group! Wonderful.

Original poster

Triggles · 25/01/2012 21:45

EllenJane - Yes, we did talk to some of the older students, both in the secondary and the primary. We were really impressed with them.

I think right now we're going through the emotional fall out from it though. We're both exhausted and a weird combination of elated and let down. I don't really know if that makes sense. We both agreed that we could easily see DS2 there and doing well. I think it's just that fear of making a mistake or even just doing things differently that is hitting us right now.

OP posts:

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 25/01/2012 21:59

It's a really hard decision, I think it feels a bit like 'giving up' on a MS life, but it's really not, you know. He'll have so many opportunities there and specialist support, people who understand and actually can educate him instead of containing him. And with their partnership with the secondary, it means he'll have access to a MS school if and when it's appropriate. I know I made the opposite decision, I moved my DS from SS to MS, but that school was about to close at that point so I didn't really have a choice. (That's why I was there, visiting to talk to politicians about why they should keep it, and my DS's SS open. It took a change of party in the local elections to keep it open.)

((((hugs)))) Triggles and for your DH. Your junior school was never going to be a good option, was it?

Original poster

Triggles · 25/01/2012 22:04

No. It really wasn't. At least if he's at the SS, I don't have to constantly worry about whether they're going to reduce his 1:1 hours on his statement for the next year and stuff like that. I loved how enthusiastic the teacher was that we talked to, and how the children (even the older ones) seemed to really be enjoying themselves, even in the lessons we saw. They all seemed engaged and chattering about the subject in the science class we popped into.

OP posts:

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 25/01/2012 22:08

He'll have a peer group, friends, he'll have teachers who can actually teach him. He'll have what every child should have from their school, really.

shazian · 25/01/2012 22:27

Fantastic, so happy for you, glad went well.

Original poster

Triggles · 25/01/2012 22:43

shazian thank you.

EllenJane yep. fingers crossed it all goes through okay. Then we go through the frustration of telling family he's moving schools. My family will be shocked (and possibly horrified) and DH's family will be baffled, as they still think he will simply grow out of his SNs. sigh Did you have difficulty with this when your son went to SS?

OP posts:

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 25/01/2012 22:54

I don't think my family properly understood, but DS2 was only 3 when he went to his SS, so it was harder to tell the difference between a toddler tantrum and his behaviour. The fact that he couldn't talk and wouldn't look at anyone helped! It's taken years for my sister to appreciate that life with DS2 can be a bit tricky, she's always played it down. But they've been generally supportive, and if he's bad enough for SS, there must be actually something wrong!

Original poster

Triggles · 26/01/2012 08:50

Mine don't. They live overseas, so all they see is photos of DS2, so they just don't get the behaviour. Except for one sister, who has a 5yo son with similar disabilities. I still have a bit of difficulty getting past my mum's comment when we told her DS2 had SNs, she said "is it because you were too old when you had him?" She was horrified that we had a child at age 40, saying it was far too old. (you can imagine her reaction to DS3 when I was 43 ) I love her, but the relationship can be extremely difficult and complicated.

DH's family are here in the area, and while they sort of understand, they sort of don't as well. They seem to think it's a phase that he'll grow out of, and this is really going to threaten that idea for them.

OP posts:

Flip