Trivial, but how do you find a babysitter when your child has complicated health needs?

[cupofteaplease]

I want to find a babysitter who can look after my 3 children one night so dh and I can go out together. But dd3 is on oxygen and fed via NG tube. I've no idea where to look to find someone with the appropriate experience who I could trust to leave her with.

I know most mums will probably think I'm mad to want to leave her, but I think dh need some time to ourselves as the last few months have been very hard.

I've looked at Sitters but they won't look after SN children.

Bumping for you, cupoftea.

Goodness knows it's hard enough to find time for yourself and DH as a couple when a few kids are thrown into the mix; must be much harder to find somebody you trust when extra needs are an added dimension.

Good luck. And have a fab night out, I hope .

Approach the local special school maybe a TA from there would want extra work.
Put a card on the children's ward noticeboard.
Pair up with another mum with similar SN child and sit for each other.
Ask SS about respite carers.
Find a SN childminder.
Post on Special Kids in the UK they usually know of carers.
Lots of ideas not sure they'll guarantee success though.

Hi cup. I don't think you are mad to want to leave the lovely Bea for a few hours - you need a break and I'm sure your DH would enjoy spending time with you without your lovely DD's.
Have you asked Social Services for a Carers Assessment? It took me 6 yrs to realise I needed to do this - dont leave it that long. The result of our assessment was that the PCT funded 6 hrs a week qualified nursing care for DD from a nursing agency. They also looked after DS as well if it was an evening booking.
Do the children's hospice have an outreach service - where they will come to your house and look after Bea for a few hours - I know you haven't been for your 1st visit yet, but it is certainly something to ask them about
In the meantime, I don't suppose you live near a Uni that does Nursing courses - if you do I'm sure there will be some student nurses who would be willing to help for a small fee!.
Any retired nurses living locally who might be delighted to help with your brood - maybe the GP might know of someone.
I think you would be lucky to find anyone who doesn't have any experience of this level of need who would be willing to take on the responsibility - especially if Bea is still Oxygen dependent - but you never know. We were extremely lucky when I went back to work after DD was born, we found a fantastic nanny who admitted that she had gone home after the job interview and meeting DD and told her mum that she couldn't look after DD as she would be scared. We didn't know this when we offered her the job and it certainly hadn't come across in the interview. When we offered her the job she was so stunned she said "yes" and she stayed for 4 yrs. She has since become a fully qualifed sick childrens nurse and has risen rapidly through the ranks! So you might just get lucky and find someone invaluable like we did.
Hope there are a few useful ideas there.

I would second the idea of asking at the school your DD attends, or the local special school if you HE. Or if she accesses respite the staff there sometimes look for work and should know your daughter and be trained.

Cup, I don't know whether they'd be suitable, but I saw this home respite team, and maybe they'd be able to help, and if not, might be able to point you in the direction of someone who could help

I have found that school T.A's are always willing to do this sort of thing. In fact my DS's T.A came to me and said if you are ever looking for a babysitter or a DP worker, just let me know as I love working with him, which I thought was just lovely

it's not trivial at all, cupoftea. and everyone needs a break, so don't start thinking you shoudln't be leaving Bea!

who did you use for dd1&2? is there any way they could be trained up in what to do with oxygen/NG tube?

otherwise as others have said - SN schools, SN childminders, etc.

I'm a TA in a Special School and babysit for two families (one boy with severe autism and a girl with severe gobal development delay and febrile convulsions). I'm sure if you asked for an annoucement to be made that someone would step forward if you were willing to spend some (paid...) time together training them. My concern is that it could prove pricey (I get £9 and £10 an hour- funded by each child's LA) so start looking into that funding!

Thanks for the great ideas. CMOT I think that's the respite service our community children's nurse is referring us to.

Dd is only 4 months, so no special school yet!

I've had a bit of luck... I have one of the nursery nurses from SCBU on my facebook. She looked after Beatrice in hospital. I messaged her and she has said she babysits . So I guess we just need to iron out the finer details.

My 2 DC's have complex health needs and they have a Continuing health care plan and we can have community health nurses to do home care stuff (all children's trained) if and when required, we are not keen to have anybody in on a regular basis don't know why but useful for any evenings out (RARE)
Good luck to you all and have a brilliant time out. Have been following Beatrice's thread with interest so a big X for her.

That's good news cupoftea but I'm sure even if you don't have a child at a local special school they would still make an annoucement and a TA would be willing to help out.

Hi if you look up fair access to carers short breaks the joint agency team will assess and five you a certain amount of carer hours a month. We get 3 hrs a month or can save them up so they build up. A specialist carer will be assigned to you who has the experience neccessary. Unfortunatly we will lose our carer hours in June but very well worth applying. Some carers don't mind looking after siblings like ours does but some will charge a fee.

Hi cupoftea - where are you based? I am a qualified paeds nurse who does ad hoc babysitting/nannying - if you were nearish to me I would be very happy to look after your girls so you and hubbie could go on a well deserved night out!