does anyone else have mini dictator????

[Chundle]

Having an awful few weeks with dd2 it seems like she's running the house! She screams and shouts almost relentlessly at the mo and its wearing me down. She screams and covers her ears when dd1 sings and sometimes when we are talking, screams when she wakes from a nap, screams if we look at her when she's in a mood, screams when I try to put clothes on her she doesn't like.
We put her dinner in front of her and she starts shouting "like it" which means she doesn't like it! She hates it if people sit in what she perceives to be HER chair. Everything is wrong at the minute and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells trying not to upset her!

I know some of it is terrible twos (she's 2.5) but she is so extreme. Currently awaiting ados and I'm tearing my hair out!!
Anyone else with similar?? Please say yes!

I feel your pain Chundle.

Its not exactly the same thing, but I get it from a combination of ds1 and dd.

Dd is nt and turned 3 last weekend and she is currently going through a phase of screaming a horrible, shrill and exceptionally loud scream every time something doesn't go her way. She is vile if she doesn't get a nap, but when she does, she invariably wakes up in a foul mood and screams and tantrums her way through the next hour.

Ds1 has AS and has gone overboard into meglamaniac (sp?) mode as well and expects every single thing to go his own way. For example, he absolutely will not be in a room on his own, but if anyone dares speak or make any noise when he is sitting in a room with him - or even in the next room - they are met by a torrent of abuse about them being selfish, disturbing his peace and stopping him from concentrating etc. He also has a regular tantrums about not being able to sit where he wants to or no-one wanting to play a board game with him etc and poor old ds2 can't seem to do anything right at all.

Unfortunately, my usually sunny natured ds2 has finally had enough of being yelled at by both his siblings (and lord knows its hard enough being the middle one at the best of times without one with a terrible two and one being a meglamaniac with AS) and has decided to contribute his own grumpy rants and general rudeness into the mix.

We are walking on eggshells around all three of them at the moment and as a result I am now in a really bad mood myself. Harrumph!

I just told dh I need a break, only to be told - "You don't get a break from being a parent you know." Maybe I should go to his job this week and he can have all three dcs and school related crap to deal with and then we'll see if he still thinks that was a wise thing to say!

I would, but to make matters worse, I'm back on my blooming diet.

We finally persuaded our currently crazily cantankerous and confrontational DS (8 yrs AS) to come to the table to eat the roast chicken today and he said: 'Is this the usual shape of the bird or is it that he curls up like that before getting shot?' Cue helpless suppression of giggles from me and DH. At least it broke the tension for a bit!...

Oh, yes. Ours is 8.

Singing and whistling and anything even looking like dancing are all forbidden. HIs plate must not be the same colour as DS2's. His dinner must be served separately form DS2's. Sounds of the 60s is not allowed to be on the radio and we're not allowed to park next to even a poncy faux off roader type vehicle - bob help us if there's a range rover even in sight.

His has a long list of Disapproved TV programs including Tweenies and Baby Jake (at least he has good taste) and they are not allowed to be on the telly. We are not allowed to watch channel 5 of any of the associated channels.

his Disapproved list is enormous and unfortunately includes a couple of kids in his class, who he can not go near (neither of them entirely NT - he cannot tolerate their unpredictable and impulsive behaviour ) and also his teacher from last year (don't blame him) and unfortunately, his former 1:1 - he took a real dislike to her in year 1 because he associated her presence with being babyish, but he is at least learning to be civil with her, now.

I'm on orders to get my hair cut. I may or may not do as I'm told even though it does need it. I'm already rebellious enough to wear flashes of pink, even though it's Not Allowed and to tell him tough luck on the incredibly rare occasion that I wear something a bit girly and flouncy.

DS2 is not allowed to scribble. That's a pain in the butt, since DS2 can barely hold a pencil and scribbling is a great achievement for him. DS1 considers him to be defective because he can't talk like other children his age and sometimes needs a buggy. He's stopped criticising him for wearing a nappy, since we reminded him that he's only been out of nappies, himself, since August. We're having to work on preventing DS1 from dictating to DS2 how he can and can't play with certain toys. The threat of giving DS2 DS1's lego/mp3 player/DSi seems to be helping there. Even though DS2's toys are fair game to DS1, in his eyes, DS2 must not touch DS1's toys. Ever

The boy is Hard Work and sometimes I just get the urge to pull faces at him (I make sure he can't see) or just bang my head against a wall to see if it all goes away.

We are not allowed to be called mummy and daddy, by the way. It has to be mum and dad. Thankfully, DS2 does only manage mum, rather than mummy, but daddy gets a Disapproved daddeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee when he's greeted by DS2! He manages this despite there being No Such Word as daddy. A mummy is a thing wrapped in bandages, and That's Final.

i have one hes just turned 3

everything is his, even public things like roads, park benches apparantly belong to ds. if i say "ds i'm putting my coat on" he'll repeat back "not your coat it's mindz" if i say "oh FGS" he'll repeat "not FGS" everything is a battle, an arguement i could have written the OP myself.... the screaming we are coming out of that stage but at 2.5 ds was exactly the same

refuses point blank to go to sleep, refuses to get dressed, refuses to do anything i say. will only sit in certain seats, cant get him to stay seated for dinner just generally disobedient and i dont know if its my fault :(

it's upsetting really

Lol ouryve, I do the pulling faces thing too! Dh gets very cross when I stick my tongue out at ds1 when he's in another room. Apparently he doesn't know who's the bigger kid!

We also have the list of banned tv programmes - all of which are dd's favourites. He also cannot stay in the room if I we are watching anything other than children's tv and will run through trying to cover his eyes and ears at the same time. Bizarrely, Neighbours is excepted from this treatment, so now whenever he asks, I always tell him I'm watching Neighbours. Black and white musicals are also acceptable viewing material - apparently. Of course this can cause issues if ds2 wants to watch something with me, as it means ds1 has to be in another room on his own - and so we go round again.

His favourite sport is telling ds2 how inferior/babyish/wrong he is. He has unsuccessfully tried to ban pink but this is tad difficult given that my parents bought dd a giant pink dollshouse for christmas and its installed right in the middle of the living room.

Absolutely nothing Disney is allowed to cross our threshold - oh, except the second hand Jungle Book PS1 game he was given recently, as he's studying the original Jungle Book at school, so that's allowed - aparently.

He is allowed to play with all of ds2's Lego Starwars stuff, but his has to remain safely on the shelf above his bed and absolutely no-one is allowed to touch it. Ds2 also has to play any games according to ds1's strict rules, which can be tricky, because he hates to lose and will continually change the rules and make up new ones in order to win. This morning it was that he could have free goes for every time ds2 moved when he was throwing his bakugan, as obviously it made the floor vibrate and affected his throwing skills.

As a family, we are absolutely forbidden from listening to music and GOD FORBID dancing. Dh, dd and ds2 love a good old boogie and like to put some of dh's music on and dance on Sunday mornings - ds1 hates it with a passion. He has a grand total of one album - The Automatic - on the mp3 player he begged for last year, basically because he used to be obsessed with the 'What's that comin' over the hill' song. Apparently its acceptable for him to listen to that occasionally, but all other music "is just stupid, annoying and a complete waste of time". However, we are for some reason, allowed to listen to music in the car.

Interestingly, he also has a big problem with a boy in the year below him at school. I knew this boy had been excluded a couple of times and could be a bit of a handful, but didn't know him personally, iyswim. Turns out, said boy is now working with ds1's ASD Inclusion Teacher - something ds1 was absolutely horrified about when he first found out, because obviously she belongs to ds1 and ds1 alone. He still doesn't like him, but we've had several hundred talks about tolerance/differences etc and it seems this boy is now sort of forgiven because he has AS. They even manage to play on the same cricket team without arguing these days!

Aw salad, cross posted.

Its not your fault. I think the 2-3 years old age is particularly wearing anyway, but even moreso when there's other things going on.

I know dd drives me to distraction some days, she wants to do everything her way, in her own time or she doesn't want to do things that have to be done.

Thinking back to ds1 when he was that age, I can remember sitting opposite him in his room with tears rolling down my face asking him if he didn't like me and would he like me to go away and leave him with daddy. It haunts me now that I was in a bad enough state to say something like that to a 3 year old, but at the time I just didn't know what else to do, I honestly thought he didn't love me. I didn't know he had AS and all his oppositional behaviour etc just felt like a personal attack.

From talking to him as he got older, I now understand that he was just frustrated and confused and his constant bossiness etc is just him trying to gain some control in a world that he feels is pretty wild and lawless (in terms of what makes him feel safe). I am also reassured that he loves me and always has, he just shows it in different ways to his siblings.

It does get better as they get older and are able to talk to you more and scream less. I know I've just written a huge post about what a pita he is - but although true, its also bit tongue in cheek. He's actually lovely lad and things are so much better now we can sit and talk things through. We don't always find the answers/solutions, but we do always manage to reinforce the fact that we all love each other and that alone makes it all feel so much better.

(((hugs)))

(((hugs for Chundle too)))

Wow thanks for all responses guys glad Im not the only one! May have to try the pulling faces thing :)
Salad dd says "mine toy" in a deep grisly voice :) if we are at the park she screams at kids "mine swing mine slide". I guess this is progress of sorts as she's not very sociable with other kids -although she does scream it from a safe distance!!

Fab thanks for that Lenin will look that book up. Dd1 has ADHD so is fairly noisy dd2 hates noise so its difficult pleasing both

Oh good there is hope then :)

Oh Yes! DS2 is 4.5 and rules the house. He is very much in charge and it's hard to get the right balance between giving into him for an easy life, and also teaching him he can't always get his own way. We are not allowed to sing, sit down when he doesn't want us to, he chooses the music/CD's in the car, he wants to choose the TV channels but he has an older brother who also wants to do that. He has also now learnt to say 'mum, come here!' which I am hearing quite a lot!

:o lenin because DS1 Disapproves of gushing praise in most circumstances!!!

moosemama - our boys as so alike, they'd hate each others' guts! DS1 does at least love music, though, but it often prompts him to ask endless obsessive questions about who the band is, what album the track's from, how many albums the track's on, how long the track is.... Today, he's gone to school with the task of being nice and doing his work and eating his lunch Without A Fuss, then he can have either the Police or Steppenwolf album that we've just bought on his MP3 player.

Ouryve- your ds sounds just like our ds2!! He knows how many tracks, which number track etc for the most obscure cd's of dh! His current toilet training chart has a cd as his reward for 10 stickers. He is obsessive about music.

Ahh so good to see there are lots of us out there :)