ASD, anxiety and food issues.

[Memoo]

I'm posting here because the staff at ds's school think he may have aspergers. He has yet to be formerly assessed but I know in my heart they are right.

My son has various OCD tendencies which we have always managed to deal with before.

He has now developed anxieties around eating. Basically he is scared of choking. He is absolutely convinced that food is going to go down the wrong way and he will die. He takes an hour to eat a small meal.

He is getting upset a lot of the time. It's like the thought he is going to choke and die is constantly on his mind. It's getting so bad he sometimes struggles to swallow.

Im so out of my depth I don't know what to do. I've bought books on anxiety and various cbt techniques but it's not really helping.

Have you spoken to your GP?

Not yet. I'm kind of putting it off because I feel like if i do i'll be making it a bigger issue than it is.

I think you should go to your gp and ask for him to be referred for assesmment. Undiagnosed ASD can lead to mental health problems.

How old is your ds. My Dd3 has just been diagnosed with asd she is 9.

Your ds will be able to access the right support if he has a diagnosis.

Good luck. Oh and welcome to the board, keep coming back for any advice.

memoo how old is your son? If he is on the spectrum then anxiety can be part of his problems. I find my DS will develop anxiety once he learns about a new issue that has potential dangers. e.g. at the mo we are planning a trip to Oz and he is stressing about scorpions (!).
I find a cognitive approach works e.g. start talking about the epiglottis, that its job is to keep food from choking us, animals have developed it as a safety mechanism etc etc?
Alternatively, he might have oral sensory problems and a full mouth of food might actually cause him problems. In that case, smaller meals, more often may help.
You may already have tried all this though. Good luck.

Ds is 11. His teacher really think he should be assessed. He told me to take him to the GP and then he would make any relevant referrals in school.
I think I may be burying my head in the sand with this.
Ds is very bright, extremely loving and highly sensitive. He doesn't struggle socially but emotionally he really do find it hard.
He has to follow the rules to the letter. He doesn't handle change very well and sometimes gets really upset and frustrated with his friends if he feels they are being unjust or not doing things the way they should be done. He struggles with his clothes. If something doesn't feel quite right like a bit of his sock is twisted he can't stand it. He is obsessed with tbe world war and will talk for hours about it, literally following me round the house. He knows the every detail of everything that happened in the WW's.

Im so unsure about taking him to the GP. I dont see the point in him being labelled. He is just my wonderful son, he is who he is and I wouldn't change anything about him.

The thing is I'm so exahuasted with it Im not entirely sure I'm thing straight.

Sorry for all the typos, on phone and can't find my glasses.

I feel sick with worry :(

Memoo, getting a label won't actually change him, he'll still be your wonderful son. Not getting a label won't mean he doesn't have AS or some other anxiety difficulty. See it as opening doors to support rather than a label. There is no need to disclose a DX to school or future employers if you/he doesn't want to.

Ditto to what ellenjane said. My son has a label but school is very aware that we dont want it discussed with other children....labels are easy to apply but hard to remove. But it has got him help and more importantly understanding from school staff.

Identical scenario here Memoo-ds 11 was dx privately almost a year ago with Aspergers at suggestion of school.Even though its so hard to accept it. it was definitely the correct thing to do.It means he now gets any support he needs at school and at least now we know why he talks incessantly about his special interests/rocks to music,takes literal meanings to everything etc. I think for secondary school it can only be a help to have a dx as it is such a big change from primary school. We have only told a few people strictly on a need to know basis. I would say definitely do it-it will open doors for him!

Hi Memoo,

You wrote earlier that you were out of your depth here and you know deep down that school are right re the AS. Speaking to the GP about getting a referral to a developmental paediatrician for your son is another option you need to do now for your sake as well as his. Another option is to pay and go privately for such a referral. He is your wonderful son no matter what but you cannot go on as you are; bumbling through without knowledge or a dx is not helping either of you.

Burying your head in the sand does not make this go away; infact doing so magnifies such issues even more and helps no-one least of all your son. The hardest step to take is often the first one.

I would certainly concur with the other respondents re a label; see this only as a signpost to getting more help. A "label" as well will open doors that are otherwise closed to you and your son.

My son is at secondary and is both supported and happy there (they see DS as primarily a person and not a label); some of his peers have not been so lucky and one of them found his Y7 very difficult indeed. It can certainly be a tough and difficult place for those whose needs there are not being met.