5 year old with possible SEN, what could it be please?

[paranoidofStaffs]

My DS started school in September and seems happy but school aren't. Apparently he:

1. hid under the table a couple of times
2. Concentrates so hard on what he is doing that he often doesn't hear or respond when he Is called by name
3. Won't wipe his own bottom (he tells me he did today as we have been having words!)
4. His writing "could be better"
5. can have over the top emotional outbursts (crying, off the deepend)
6. Has flapped his hands once or twice
7. Disappears to the loo and is gone ages, they retrieve him in the end, find him playing with the water.

At home he is extremely loving (unusually so I would say but It's nice!), wipes his bottom, never handclaps, playful, funny, imaginative. He does have crying fits, off the deep end, pulls some funny faces when eating and he has a button phobia (he will tolerate some on trousers if they are covered by his tshirt and ok with them on his blazer, coat etc) he says they look rubbish.

Intellectually wise he seems to be doing fine, learning to read etc no problem.

So what are the school saying you should be doing? What are THEY doing?

My goodness he sounds like any other 5 year old. He is still only young fgs

Have called us in for a meeting with learning support, want to give us a list and take DS to dr! Gutted, scared, confused.

Awww bless, well its always worth checking out though. To me he just sounds like your average 5 year old.

Yes but they keep asking questions like, is he scared of loud noises because they are going to the theatre next week, and he prefers routine doesn't he. And I am saying no he isn't scared of loud noises and no he is not bothered about routine, we have very little at weekends and he does just fine, so they are driving at something here! They are clearly struggling with him and why would they bother if they didn't think something was seriously wrong.

I tell him, you must wipe bottom, you must listen and respond when you are called, you must be good. He then does seem to have good few days, even half a term, then we break for Xmas and he goes back and they struggle again.

I think it's always a good idea to go to the GP if school are concerned.

It could be nothing, could be something.

Main thing is, he's still the same boy he was yesterday. And you still love him just as much. And a diagnosis won't change any of that.

All the feelings you're feeling are normal. There are going to be quite a few months like that I think. If the GP wants to refer him to a child development paedetrician it will take a while to be seen......

You know what, there is nothing on that list that concerns me greatly and I am usually one to jump up and down and recommend taking to the GP just in case. But, the school have seen something they are worried about and I would go along with things for now.

Don't be scared of a meeting or a list. That is all they are. Treat it as information about your ds that you can use to help him settle better if that is all that is needed.

However, aside from the school thing. Do you have any niggles at all. Does anything strike you as a bit 'different'?

Only the button thing and the over emotional thing, he is sooooo cuddly and loving, intensely so, always has been. I always thought it was just him but now it niggles me because of what school are saying.

He did have a weird thing with weeing for awhile 18 months or so ago. He kept saying he needed a wee, like panicked and we rushed to the loo and nothing came out, to be repeated throughout the day, came and went and then disappeared totally when we moved him from nursery to preschool. The nursery he was at suggested he was gifted at one stage because he played hide and seek so well? Weird thing to say, he can't read, well only learning along normal lines now so discounted. Also leading up to us moving him from the nursery he regressed a bit and wet his pants ALOT. But as soon as he was moved it stopped altogether. I think he was really unhappy at his nursery so I wished I had moved him earlier!

Oh and I should add I took him to dr over the seeing and we went to a paediatrician and he said it was anxiety!

Sorry meant weeing

Well their concerns are not going to go away, so take their list to your GP. get a referral for what is on the list and have your child checked over by a developmetnal paed.

In many countries this is normal to have this service at his age so think of it as an indulgence for the moment. If the paed says nothing wrong then the school will have to accept that and work with it.

Ok thanks, so you think nothing sounds too worrying then, from what I have said? I will try and get a decent nights sleep then!

PS, None of us here can give you that level of reassurance I'm afraid, but nothing jumps out.

It is significant that the school have concerns and I think it would be sensible to investigate further based on that. However, many of us here have experienced the fact that teachers have very little training in SN and certainly not at the diagnostic end.

It could be that he has a couple of traits that mean he will a)benefit from some differentiation in the classroom, b)have an advantage in certain subject areas as a result. Kids can be so different and what is SN and what isn't a bit of a grey area and very dependent on whether it holds them back in life and learning etc.

Don't worry until you have something to worry about though, but do follow up the investigation.

Ok noted thank you thank you thank you! I shall report back! I may need more support!