I have some concerns about DS

[TheRealMBJ]

I have booked an appointment with the GP (best one in the practise IMO) for Tuesday next week.

He is 2. My main concerns are regarding his sleep and speech but there are other tiny issues also.

He is generally a lovely, sunny boy that can be engaging and wraps his grandparents around his fingers. But suffers from quite severe separation anxiety. He will be left with DH or MIL but no one else. Ever. No matter how well he knows them.

Sleep. He has never slept through. Bedtime is ok now, we have a routine. Bath, play with daddy, in the night garden, books. DH reads to him until almost asleep and then stays with him until he goes to sleep between 19:30-20:00. He will sleep 1.5hrs-2hrs in his cot, then wake screaming. We then settle in cot but then bring him to bed with us when he wakes again, not because he sleeps any better (he still wakes hourly to 2hrly) but because I absolutely can't get up that many times to resettle him and neither can DH.

In terms of speech, he has excellent comprehension but has only eleven words. And no 2 word sentences. Lots of gestures and grunting. I am not a first language English speaker but although I do speak my mother tongue in his presence I speak English to him. DH is English and our home language is English.

He can also be described as wilful and 'liking things just so'. Kicking up a massive fuss if things aren't done just the way he likes. I don't give in to tantrums but he does bite his own fingers and bites/pinches/hits me a lot. I do not believe in slapping/biting/pinching a child in response to their doing so and have never done so. I try to get him to channel his anger elsewhere.

Is he just a normal 2 yo with difficult sleep and slightly delayed language or should I GE worried about something else?

My feeling is follow your gut feeling.

I am dealing with something similar.

Do you have a thread?

Is he just 2 or is he almost 3?

Agree with Billy - go with gut feeling.

Just 2 - birthday a week before Christmas

I don't trust my gut, consequently don't know what it says. I wonder if I'm 'looking' for oroblems or excusing my bad parenting etc, etc

I think you should come over to the Special Needs Children board where there is a VAST amount of expertise and much more traffic.

Make a list with examples for your GP and ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. It may be nothing but it does sound worth investigating.

I have requested that this thread is moved. Thanks Starlight

Wow, that was quick. Thanks MNHQ

Yes, SEN is like a void where people get lost who could get help but I don't really know whether it should go.

In terms of OTBT, I can never find it and haven't got a clue where to look.

I do have some reservations about secret chat threads because then information isn't 'published' and I think it is important that most of the time it is. When people PM me, unless it really puts them at risk I almost always tell them to ask on the main board and I'll reply there. I'm not trying to be mean but a lot of us have areas that we are more experienced or knowledgable about and if we answer questions privately, we'll spend our lives doing it individually and become bored due to the lack of discussion and challenge iyswim, which is actually safer for the enquirer anyway.

I'm on a thread in OTBT and it's a bit like any of the specialist boards only it never shows up on active convos. The threads are visible and open to any registered MNetter though but you do have to go to the board to find the threads

What were his other development milestones like? When did he sit up, crawl, walk.

Did he crawl on all fours? Or some other way?

What's his eating like?

All other milestones normal/early
Sat 6 months
Crawled 9 months- all 4's
Walked 11 months

Eating has always been a bit of a problem. Not really motivated by food. Won't eat wet food. No saucy pasta/soup/stew/gravy in roast dinner/milk on muesli etc he is still breastfeeding (although I am desperately trying to wean him gently) and did throughout my pregnancy with DD (12 weeks) it was only when my supply decreased dramatically around 16 weeks that he actually started to eat any real volume of solid food. He was about 15 months old.

Do you go to any toddler groups/activites where you can assess him alongside his peers? Does he do what they do, or is he 'unique' in his play, - possibly even 'advanced' in his inquisitiveness?

Oh, also won't eat any mashed food and doesn't really chew. But I think that is just laziness. I suppose his play is varied. Certainly not obsessively repetitive.

He's fine with other children, if a little withdrawn but I put that down to his age, living very rurally so not interacting with that many different children and therefore not really being used to other kids. We do go to playgroups and he does engage briefly with those few he knows best

He play alongside others. If for example there is another child playing with the kitchen/work bench, even if there is plenty of space for him, he will not go near it OR throw a tantrum wanting them to leave him alone. But I've never really worried about that

Do any of the other children his age do that?

Not really, come to think of it. They stand at kitchen together. Playing alongside one another

Okay, - so are your concerns simply a list of 'things' or have you tried to place them as 'something'?

He is little and what you have described could be something or nothing but almost always on this board if a parent has come on with a concern there has been something in it. Not necessarily anything disasterous, but something all the same that could either be fixed or improved with some early intervention.

I wouldn't ignore a hunch. Parents don't post on boards with the words special needs in them for the sake of it.

At the moment just s list, I don't know enough to place them as 'something' although, tbh, I suppose I do worry about ASD.

Not convinced though as from the stuff I've read he doesn't seem to fit the profile.

I have been concerned about his speech for a while now but it is becoming more of a concern as I really dpn't think there has been any development of his speech in 3/4 months.

His hearing seems fine and he is able to carry out an instruction if he chooses to

A lot of his anger stuff does seem to be frustration at his lack of ability to express himself so it could just be a simple speech delay, couldn't it?

Okay. Perhaps do a dual referral. Go to the GP for a referral to a dev paed (but do make a list of things that concern you. If you are 'thinking' ASD look up Chat or MChat and list the things from those tests that DO fit).

Then go to your HV are request a referal for a speech and language therapist or ask how you would go about getting one. (some are self-referal)

If you have a local sure start centre there are often more experienced HVs there and often link SALTs which could get you informally seen sooner. You could also ask them if you could see a SN HV for an informal observation or chat.

You may also want to encourage your GP to give a referal for a hearing test too to rule that out although your HV might be able to do that too. Hearing problems can cause all kinds of issues with sleep.