My parish has denied downs syndrome boy first communion! Please help!

[mummybiz]

I am posting this in the hope of getting some support for a mum of a catholic child who has been denied participating in first communion classes and making his first communion - the news story is here tinyurl.com/7qkqz9a. I used to be a part of this parish as a catholic mum but left due to my child being bullied and the school denying it was happening - but that's another issue. I am incensed that this child who has been apart of the school parish community is being denied the chance to join in with first communion preparation and have his special day like any other child. To me this is blatant discrimination - I have a severely disabled cousin who made his First Communion in the 1980's with no issues and went on to do so and still does today - to claim lack of understanding as a reason for denying is ridiculous. Has anyone got any opinions/ideas about this - the parents have got a 400 signature petition but given my experiences of this parish/school I doubt they will be swayed - surely it is also a legal matter?

That is quite shocking, but tbh, I would not want to be part of a parish that condoned bullying and discriminated against disabled children.

Wouldn't the normal step be writing to the bishop (or whoever is the highest person in the diocese)

I think you should perhaps post in legal to get some idea about whether they are in breach of the law on discrimination. I am shocked at this frankly. Might also be worth trying to get some wider coverage by flagging it up with some of the disability charities. However, agree that I would want no part of any organisation which behaves like this.

It is in the DM now so no doubt the parish will have to back down.

If the mum is willing, then getting lots of publicity in the local press might get them to back down?

But like other posters say, why would they want to be part of this church anyway? I'm sure there are other christian churches who would be welcoming.

Try this link

www.equalityhumanrights.com/about-us/advice-from-our-helpline/

It seems to me do you wnat to fight the outragious or do you wnat ot move on. The key to addressing this is publicity.

Oh for goodness sake.

No, I don't think this is shocking except possibly that this one incident is being used to try and attack the catholic church.

The church regularly check that all children are ready to understand the commitment within their communion . It isn't just a ceremony

Going to the press and trying to make this one incident a disability thing is irritating beyond measure. Our kids face enough discrimination without making stuff up.

Actually, there is one comment on the DM piece about a child having to wait until she was of the "age of reason" so perhaps that was a part of it. But they should have explained that.

The idea that this one child has been dicrinminated against when lots of children get their communion delayed is ' made up'.

The parents got a letter and went to the press.
They have not spoken to their parish or bishop as far as I can see. They have assumed it is discrimination without doing even the most basic things to check out the position.

I would be interested to know if other children are being 'delayed' with their Communion in the child's class. Also if the reason is the same.
However, if 'delaying' is a permanent tactic in Denum's case then I feel uncomfortable.
I would say a lot of what the Catholic faith asks one to believe takes a suspension of belief for anyone! I think that it is probably important to take Communion with the rest of his class and that the Church should show some flexibility and compassion.

First I would like to see if the parish had made reasonable adjustment to provide this boy with extra tuition and/or a support scheme to access the teaching and attend mass in a way in which he was capable of doing. Then I would want to know if this support has been taken up by the parents.

First Communion depends to some extent on being able to learn basic concepts. So similar rules should apply as in an ordinary school situation. A disabled child is not discriminated against if he cannot sit his GCSEs- provided he has been offered adequate support.

The article suggests that their actual problem was not the understanding but a feeling that he would not be able to cope with a whole service. In which case the priest might have considered the example of the monks of Clairvaux in the 12th century who dug a pit near their abbot's stall so he could still attend mass despite needing to attend to problems caused by his chronic gastric condition.

But I do think the Catholic church needs to have very firm guidelines here on how they handle these situations, so it's not up to individual priests.

And the parents should probably have been in there discussing this in advance too. As one does.

I was part of the parish until 6 mths ago and my kids used to attend the school - as far as I am aware (20 years part of parish) no child has ever been refused or delayed first communion till this case. The DMail has picked up story - I hadn't realised till after I posted was just going on front page of my local paper. I just find the whole think horrific and it vindicates my decision to take my children out of a school that had changed out of all recognition and to stop attending church after the farce that was the first communion preparation. I am a lifelong catholic. I have been a teacher in a catholic school and worked as a one to one teacher for sen kids. Weekly attendance was a requirement for first communion a few families went as far as to forge signatures for the required signature sheet to be completed weekly. "The dog ate the sheet"was also a trick so the priest would resign all the weeks.The parish priest must have realised that all these shenanigans were happening but he never stopped one child from making their communion. My child was bullied by another child who was doing his first communion - the school refused to acknowledge I took my children out of school. He did make his first communion alongside his bully because I wasn't going to have that taken away from him. BUT before anyone suggests I have a grudge against the school it couldn't be further from the truth - I just hate hypocrisy. My kids had a fab year of home ed and now a new school so alls well that ends well. BUT what kind of message is the catholic church and this parish sending out to families. Not one of compassion caring and a welcoming community but one of all for show - we will shout at you and tell you your first communion depends on weekly attendance but turn a blind eye to the ones who play the system but the following year we will discriminate against a child who had downs syndrome and not allow him to make his?!! The catholic church should be ashamed. The school should get its act together - it should be supporting that parent not failing to tackle difficult issues. God is about love and compassion not discrimination.

To add the parents have gone higher up and asked the bishop etc but he has supported the parish priest - the parish community should support the parents and with the right support First Communion should be made possible for that child.

The Childs parents say he can't cope with. An hour mass so they don't take him.
Yet they think he can cope with the confirmation process and ceremony.

This is an 'i want my way and I want my picture in the paper' issue.

The mother has quite categorically stated that she doesn't take the child to mass because he finds sitting through it too difficult.

Therefore the child is not yet ready and cannot display the same level of understanding as his peers at this point in time.

The church have added that he will be ready one day, especially with a little more parental participation/support.

That's all really...not the anti disabled story it's being made out to be.

Quite why the parents want him to take this sacrament when he is unable to attend Mass is anyone's guess.

What you have written in your OP gives to understand that the catholic church has not allowed him to be part of communion BECAUSE he has DS. If you read closely, what the article mentions is that the church does not think he could cope with the ceremony because of his poor attention. This does not mean that he is not welcome in the catholic congregation.

They are two different things. People take stories and deform them just to inflame and cause hatred.

What a ridiculous statement - people take stories to deform them and cause hatred - quite outrageous to suggest that I or his parents are talking about this story in order to spread hatred !! this parish was my parish - I haven't got a bone of hatred in my body for anyone - the catholic church should be spreading a message of love and inclusion is my point - and no the thread on opinion wasn't deleted - why would it be? The issue of disability and religious participation is one which shouldn't be shoved under the carpet - and no family should be made to feel excluded.