Unknown

[sheepgomeep]

I dont think I can, I can't seem to find anyway forward, every night is a battle as he kicks off night after night. We have tried everything such as boundaries. Ignoring does not work as he can get violent. I can't sit back and watch him destroy my 3 daughters self confidence through his attitude and abuse and watch them tread on eggshells to stop him exploding

I have been told to create a safe space for me and then but when he DOJlows us around the house hurling abuse and accusing us of doing x y z and misinterpreting situations because he takes things very literally.

He doesn't believe anything you tell him, if it doesn't happen in his realm then it didn't happen, eg he lost his temper when I told him that his dad was unable to get his car fixed until tomorrow and his response was dads a lying little twonk because he told me it would be done today. Oh your a liar mum then too cos its probably your fault his car broke down

another one seems to be come on ds off the Xbox now. Cue tantrum and the most bizzarre comment. Why why oh so u want the Xbox now do you so you can sell it to back to hmv. Then will not listen to any sort of reason at all and promptly starts packing it up and yelling and throwing things.

Honestly he comes out constantly with these bizzarre and illogical statements and he truly believes what he is saying. I lost it tonight and shouted some stuff back which I know I shouldnt have done but he made dd1 c ry by calling her a useless cow who was thick as shit.

he does have ADHD and is currently waiting for asd assessment but hes 12 and surely he should be more self aware.

sheep I haven't anything constructive to say except I understand what its like. So hurtful. And I'm sure you've tried every possible avenue.
I hope someone will be along to offer something constructive. But you are not alone. I understand what its like to have your world smashed in reponse to a minor incident in their 'bubble world'.

Thanks wannabe

Ive gone to bed to escape him. He was still crashing about washing uniform as he would not give me it before. Would not take his meds.

Poor dd1, we are finding it difficult to find time for her homework and time for her and she gets very upset when she can't do it. She is only nine and feels physically ill a lot. Lots of tummy upsets and headaches every day.

He can be the sweetest child but that's not often now,

You are right about it being a little bubble they live in and god forbid anything breaks it

sheep better today?
your poor little girl....don't know if this is possible for you..I took my DD for a weekend away just girls as she was seriously suffering (she asked Santa for a 'force field' to protect her from her brother hurting her ). That was about 2 months ago...I am still getting the benefit from it. She is too young to explain that her brother has difficulties but she understood getting 1:1 for her.

It's awful isn't it. DS was like this last year, and I literally had to be between him and dd, or keep them in different rooms. The trigger I think was a combination of school stuff and then a new baby meaning I just couldn't manage the 24 hour almost 1-1 attention he needed, and, looking back, I had been giving him before.

We saw a child psychologist (privately, as CAMHS said they had nothing more to offer...) who suggested concentrate on reducing his anxiety levels, reduce demands on him to an absolute minimum, and for me to just let go of trying to hang onto the 'normal' life I'd successfully foisted on him previously.

So I did that, and the violence has dropped, and he is a lot happier. But in terms of his life skills, and what we can do as a family, there's been a big price to pay.

Ah mariam I hear you. It's a constant struggle- there is no freedom for spontaneously going to do anything here. And its the tension between 'normal' family life and avoiding meltdowns. And I refuse to give up entirely as I dont want him or her to miss out on diong those things. Maybe I'm wrong; but theres no right is there?