WWYD - ds with autistic traits...take it further or wait 1 year for next review?

[pleasegivemestrength]

Hello you lovely, knowledgable ladies

Today I had paediatrician's appointment with ds2 (3)today for the standard developmental check. We live in Germany which means that children get seen directly by a paediatrician for everything rather than via GP or health visitor.

Anyway, ds2 shows quite a few autistic traits, but when I mentioned a few of the things I have noticed (after being asked if I thought our son has developed normally) he pretty much brushed every single one aside, saying that he wouldnt worry about that yet as there is no negative consequence of that behaviour or trait. One of the many concerns I have is language delay, and when asked about whether something should be done or to help him develop his language he replied he was too young/it was too early for that. In the end I only mentioned 2 or 3 of my noted down "signs" as it was obvious that there was no point.

Overall he did write down that he showed autistic traits, but that's it. And he said to me that he will review his development at the next standard check in 12 months time.

so here comes the WWYD bit would you wait and see how it goes, come back in 12 months for the next official review? Or would you take it further now?

I should also say that ds1 (nearly 5) has a dx of AS and DAMP. So I do know a little about what to look out for, although behaviour-wise ds1 is much more challenging. Ds1 gets very aggressive when anxious or frustrated, which is why everyone will notice HIS behaviour straight away. But ds2 often goes very quiet and just seems overly shy.

Advice would be appreciated. I dont want to come across as a mother who is over anxious herself and tries to get a diagnosis for a healthy boy...

and also what I am wondering is whether there would be much difference to him/us if he did get a dx? His behaviour is under control most of the time and he doesnt seem to "suffer" as ds1 obviously did. And what about the language delay? is he really too young to have some help?

Thank you so much for any replies!

IMO, he's not too young. Take a look at verbal behaviour therapy.

Thank you for your reply. That looks interesting although fairly expensive. I assume it would be privately funded? So do you think I should push for an assessment re asd though or just wait how he develops in the next 12 months?

I wouldn't wait... You can do vb at home by yourself. There's some good books on it. It's working for our dc. Give it a try x

Thanks again. I just remembered that I have ds1's therapist coming over on Thursday so will ask for her advice too.

utter rubbish that a 3 year old is too young for SALT. Don't wait any further re:tackling the language delay. if you google the mariposa school California, they have a v useful online manual about VB.

I thought that too, lightpassenger, but haven't had any experience re delayed speech. Although ds1 is AS, his speech was above average at 3. Ds2 is not non-verbal by any means but is well behind compared to others his age. Also it's extremely difficult to understand him as pruninciation is poor and grammar pretty much non-existent. To make it more difficult, he speaks a mix of German, English and his very own little language.

In the state system in the UK it's hard to get access to SALT before 3. But it is possible to do meaningful SALT from under 1 (or younger if needing support with food/drink). 3 is seen as the watershed age where late talkers wont just magically have a spurt to normal language. Sounds like you could do with a SALT familiar with bilingualism.