Mine's like that too - GRRRRRRRRR!!!

[glitch]

Just on here to vent.

My dear, dear friend who I've known forever has a DD just 4 months older than my DS. My DS has ASD and is a mite (well, really, really, really) demanding and will not let me talk to anyone but him without interruption. Obviously we have all the other issues too and well, life with him can be really bloody hard.

I'm chatting on the phone, trying to talk about things and I guess fishing for some understanding and all I get is, oh yes, mine is like that too. It is because of his ASD says I, oh yes, mine is like that too says she.

NO, yours is not bloody like it, if she were then you would be looking for help and a diagnosis and support and help and understanding.

That's it, just wanted to vent.

Hi glitch

Some of my friends do the same and I just wonder whether they feel awkward when we discuss our child's special needs. It's almost like they want to make you feel better but don't realise that it can be annoying as we know their child is nothing like ours.

grrrrrrrrr!!! aswell glitch!
im sick of that to....o.m.g!! i had an argument at work just before xmas,
i stupidly said one morning in work that we had a bad eve with ds,all 10 of them showed interest and asked what had happened?i told them ds completely lost it because his friend sat on his chair,and when i went to calm him he punched my face! not once over the eve,but 5 times,
they said,were sure hes not that bad! ehh???he is!!
so they asked did i wind him up?!! so what did i do?! the worst thing ever....as i took a small video shot of it for my next meeting thats coming up soon,i showed them!! jesus...why did i do it,
half of them found it funny,and the other half said,well they all do that,mine do the same,you just have to tackle him in a different way!
they dont have a child like mine!
they moan and have even cried if there kids wont take there shoes off in the house and coz one of them got makeup on her bed....
well im glad they think ds slapping my face 5 times in one eve cause a mate sat on his chair is "normal"

hmmmm....thats better.....rant over!! x

I hate this, really hate it! I had a paed appointment for DS where the paed explained that she was having DS assessed for asd, dyspraxia and adhd as he was displaying a lot of the traits of these. That day after the appointment I bumped into an old friend in the shops and DS was running back and forth between aisles and grabbing different types of food and kept interupting me, not letting me talk and generally displaying a lot of hyper behaviour. I tried to explain his hyper behaviour and told her that we were just back from the doctor who was having him assessed for ADHD.

Her reply was (whilst laughing) "Oh god they will say anything wont they!? Don't listen to them he isn't hyper."

grrrrr to all of these

i was telling someone that DD was coming out of school,wet pants, every day.

she said 'oh i know, my grandaughter is nearly 4, is always having accidents, we always have to remind her.'

my DD is 4.7 and this was the SENCO i was talking to

Apparently because my son has special needs I cannot contribute anything useful to a conversation about nappy rash with parents of nt children (even though I am something of an expert as he is 13 and currently has nappy rash), because it obviously is a different sort of nappy rash......

...I don't really know what to say to that nappy rash comment......

But i suppose you could tell them this story? My exp works as a chef and would often come home with 'chefs bum' because of the heat of the kitchen. My DS was in nappies at the time and so I would give exp DS's nappy cream to use...both rashes looked the same and responded in the same way to the nappy cream and ex was in his late twenties!

Yes, I know all children do some of those things at some time, but they don't do all of them all the time!!! Aaaargh!

I just don't mention it now tbh!!

A different sort of nappy rash

Oh!
Thankyou for this thread!!

People keep doing this to me and it is driving me INSANE!

NO,She isn't like your child.She doesn't understand consequence,and she isn't have a 'bad' day,she is like this ALL OF THE TIME.

If your child was ' just like her at that age' then you wouldn't be grinning at me inanely,like it was a cute and hilarious 'stage'.

Not just me needing to vent then??

My SW: when we tell him about our 15-year-old's sleep disorder and challenging behaviour, he says 'my 3 year old is just like that'. That is meant to make us feel better presumably!

Ah, but we do that on here. you know, "my child is doing this....." and we all pop in with "it's ok, mine does that too..." same thing? different? I suspect to some extent the motive is the same - to reassure the OP. It's misguided in some instances, but the intent is not to upset, I think.

But just playing devil's advocate, while also admitting that it does sometimes aggravate me, I do think that sometimes we get so worn out over lots of different behaviours that sometimes behaviour that really IS age appropriate we sometimes mentally blame the ASD (or insert whatever letters are appropriate ) for it simply because that's what we're used to. Does that make sense? I often have to stop and think - okay this isn't ADHD/ASD, this is typical 5yo.

so the next person who says 'mine does that' after DD has smashed something up (me usually) would it be terribly unreasonable to then ask them how far along the diagnosis route they are?

Oooh good one cervix

I agree it's awful. My ds sounds just like yours glitch. It's like there's on on/off switch on his mouth thats stuck permantly on on. He never stops NEVER! If anyone rings me I sometimes go and lock myself in the toilet as it is literally the only way I can speak to them. It drives me nuts when people say oh mines like that. I feel like I want to slap them with a wet fish sometimes!

They you get the 'all kids are like that' comment. No they bloody well aren't. My daughter wasn't like that, and I've never wanted to throttle any of my nieces or nephews either, nor any of my firiends kids. The only person that comes anywher cloase is my brother but as he is asd also, it's not totally surprising.

It's nearly as bad as my well meaning pil who continually tell me how bright he is and how you change every seven years, so I just need to wait and in seven years he'll be fine! Yeh right. I know they can't/don't want to see it, but I wish they'd just keep their opinions to themselves. It's hard enough fighting for help from the professionals without family making it difficult too.

ARGGGGHHHHHH!

OK rant over, feel a bit better now, lol.

That's sounds just like my DD feyn