Aspergers girls growing up....

[yodelayheehoo]

DD is now 9 years old and quickly changing both physically and emotionally. She was diagnosed with HFA/AS last year. Not really sure what my question is, I am just worried how she will deal with the change from being a girl to a young lady! Would be interested to hear of parents who have been here before and am very grateful for any advice.

hi there

i haven't any advice as DD is only 4 still, but will have these bridges to cross in the future.

i've not been able to broach even the fact i have periods with her, as she has meltdowns at the slightest of a graze, the suggestion of blood on a monthly basis will tip her over the edge for days

and friendships... she gets really upset and confused with the politics of friendship.
she understands the 'rules' sharing, kindness etc but is really struggling with being excluded and can't seem to understand that she excludes people, so it's natural.

and without hijacking your thread any more, let's hope someone with an older DD will be along very soon

Just marking my place my DD is also 9, she was diagnosed with AS when she was four. Up to now she is still very immature and we dont have any changes to her body (she's very petite tho) have to say like you i am also dreading the hormones kicking in, the thought of ASD and hormones scares me shitless if im honest.

I have a DS, but I attended a course with a parent whose DD with AS was in DS's primary class. So we talked about how our kids grow up. The mother says that the AS girl at 14 is fine. She coped with the changes like every other girl except with some delay in terms of maturity. The girl picked up interests in make-up and nail polish, but struggles with the idea of shaving under arms. All the typical problems continue, like keeping up the hygiene standards etc (maybe not typical). But generally the mother feels she is getting there.
My DS copes well - basically when the time comes, they are more ready than we think.

I have 2 girls on the spectrum, Dd1[23] is iundiagnosed but I believe she has Aspergers, Dd3[9] has ASD and is high functioning.

I made a complete hash of the whole puberty and periods thing with DD1, she was a nightmare. She really didn't cope with ny of it.

She wouldn't /couldn't talk to me and when I taled to her she just used to say Mum I am not stupid you know.

I want to do better this time, athough Dd3 is so imature at the moment I hope I have a way to go yet. It is very scry because physically she is the size of an 11 year old but emotionally she is about 6.

Nice to see so many Mums of ASD girls in one place though.

Sorry about all the typos!! Cold fingers.

Hello
Can I join you? My dd is 9, looks about 11/12. Sometimes she seems very grown up, but then I see her peers and I can see how she lags behind. She is behind in the 'self care' department - still needs a hand washing her hair, reminding to go to the loo etc, organising getting dressed so I worry how she'll cope with physical changes. She is worried about growing up so I have been putting off talking about puberty although she does know the mechanics of it.
I am so interested to hear of other peoples experiences as these amazing girls grow up!

Why not get hold of lots of body books - not just about puberty etc, but things like that Usborne "How your body works" etc etc - it's a great starting point for conversations. (and begins to be a conceptual starting point for talking about eggs and not needing them every month so they come out with some blood etc)

We have many books. My dd knows about the physical changes - I have been very factual about things (always seems to appeal ;) ). It is more that she doesn't grasp yet how it will affect her.

Thanks for your replies. We have lots of books and I have explained the physical changes and we have even discussed periods and she found it very amusing that she would have to wear "little nappies" in her knickers, but although she understands what will happen, I am worried about how she'll cope when it does.

My main concern, which I'm sure is the same for all of us, is how she will deal with the emotions, she finds it hard enough dealing with general stuff :( . We are very lucky that she is able to attend a social club for autistic children, but unfortunately that is only once a fortnight. Her school have set up a circle of friends for her and that has helped a great deal, but have stopped the 1:1 help they were giving her, as "she is coping fine". I don't want her just to be able to cope, I want her to be happy and excel in any way she chooses, but the social issues are a massive barrier for her.

Yodel - that's exactly how I feel about my dd! She does so well, but it's not just about coping is it? It's about progressing too. Her school is amazing, so supportive. But obviously I'm now starting to fret about moving on to secondary in a couple of years!

Yodel that is exactly how I feel! It's not just about coping is it? My dd sounds very, very similar to yours. Her school are great, no complaints, but of course I'm now worrying about secondary!

Whoops! Thought my first post hadn't worked!