We are increasingly aware that Pagboys anxiety is HUGE. School have gently suggested medication

[Pagwatch]

Does anyone have experience?

He is 15 now and is constantly displaying anxiety based behaviours recently adding verbal tics to his repertoire.
He has never used any medication and frankly I have no idea where to start including who I should consult.

Any info, link or experience would be welcome

I have absolutely no experience, sorry.

whereabouts is he on the puberty timescale? is this likely to be a hormonal surge?

do school have any info they can give you? previosu experience? other parents in a simialr position to talk to?

Yy, I am factoring in hormones silver - I think that is playing a part.

I am going back to the school in a few weeks but am using the time to investigate a bit on my own. I have asked them to arrange for a salt to observe him and give their feedback on his increasingly stutter language - his language is poor at the best of times so I want their views before I run away with the idea it is anxiety.

I have to say they raised it very gently and with no pressure at all. He is in a special school, there is no question of their pushing things to make him easier. All of us in the meeting are just finding it hard to see him so stressed.

Poor boy.

would you feel comfortable talking to parents of older/same age boys who have been through the same?

it's the next 'stage' of parenting, isn't it? get through the early years, fight for the right school etc, and it all evens out for a few years. and then wham! the teenage years, which can be hard enough with NT children able (on a good day ) to articulate their emotions and thoughts.

I am not looking forward to a teenage dd1

is he showing a lot of other anxiety symptoms, as well as the language? I am assuming no major changes at school, but he has had recent change with your ds1 heading off to uni, and then back for Christmas etc - do you think this might be adding to his anxiety too? I can remember feelign very mixed up when my older brother left home when I was 14ish - it really changes the whole dynamic of everyhting - all the little insignificant things like the smell of his shampoo missing from the bathroom in the mornings as well as the bigger things like missing him too.

Yes, there have been other changes too. But to be honest he has had anxiety for years. He pinches his hands, does a grimacing thing and just shuts down at times when he is too stressed. There are lots of things. He has had this for years I just think we were hoping he would start to find things easier.

He is really missing his brother and of course Christmas brings changes/stresses as well as the good bits. But I can't bury my head anymore.

Yep, I would talk to anyone tbh. There are coffee mornings at school and I may catch up with some of the mums next week.

Pagwatch, my son is much younger than yours, but personally I would say that if the special school is suggesting medication then I would take their advice. They are dealing with so many children and probably have had prior positive results if they are recommending it. If it will make your DS less anxious it will be positive for him.

I think you will probably need a referral to a neurologist? No sure how it works in the UK, but when we were abroad, the Neurologist was able to prescribe for us.

Hi Pag
This is a thought/suggestion based on my own experience (and may be entirly impractical or unsuitable) but would it help if you took out school?
By him being home edded i mean.

My ds (has aspergers) and was very miserable at school -becoming depressed,talking about arson. knifing people, scratching at his arms, refusing food. He was 7 then (school said he was fine!) 2+ years on he us so much happier.
He still gets angry when he talks about school but not having to yo has really helped.
I hope you can help him

Thanks everyone - I have to nip out. I will read all and come back later. Thanks!

Just reading your posts again and spotted that he's in special school - people always assume that's somehow the answer for a kid with difficulties (well heaps of people suggest it for my ds)
It obviously isn't is it
I feel really sad for your boy :(
I'm no expert but it does sound like stress to me (dd has a stutter/speech problems all made worse by stress/anxiety and improved by HE and me being relaxed in her company.

Is he asd? If sp then the autsim unit at the Maudsley Hospital London will have some good suggestions as they specialise in this sort of thing. He's the right age to really benefit from their help. I'd rng them with an initial query if you can - if they can't help they are likely to know who to ask for in your locale as they are a national service.

Cakemixture

He is in a great school which helps him enormously. He is happy at school and I am very happy with his school. School is not the issue.

Bochead.
Thanks. Yes he has asd. I think I will go and chat with my gp who is fab. I will check out the maudsley. Thanks.

Zzz. Yes, I agree about the exercise thing. I found out this morning about some swim classes locally. He does swimming and pe at school but not nearly enough to burn off his level of energy. I think I will get him dog walk g with me more instead of doing it when he is at school. I think you are right.

Timetoask - thanks yes. I think I will start with my gp.

If you get a referral to the maudsley make damn sure it's for the specific Autism Unit and not general Teen cahms as you want him to go where the expertise is 1st time, and not have to be referred to a diff department (y'all know how the NHS likes to keep y'all waiting lol!)

www.national.slam.nhs.uk/services/camhs/camhs-autism/
They go beyond the standard pop a pill approach.

Ok. That's helpful. I don't want the sixty squillion spots before you get the one you want routine . Again

my ds takes meds for anxiety - they have helped massively.

That's good to hear corn.

Did they take long to start helping? Have you had any negatives?
(hope you don't mind me asking)

I don't mind you asking at all.
ds is on fluoxetine and it started to work more or less right away. He started on a low dose and gradually we increased it. We've had no negatives at all.

My DS has severe anxiety, OCD, tics etc. He started on medication at age 15.

It's helped him enormously.

The medication was prescribed by Consultant Psychiatrist and repeat prescriptions are provided by our GP.

You will probably need to see psychiatrist rather than GP to start on medication.

Corn - gosh, that's great. Pleased for you and your ds

Ditto WetAugust . It is always so good when our dc get stuff that actually helps
I was just going to start with the gp to get some ideas about a referral iyswim. I wouldn't know where to start looking for a psychiatrist - let alone one who would be suitable for a teenager with virtually no speech and asd.

Fluvoxamine - an SSRI. That's what DS takes. Very effective within a week of taking it.

DS also has AS.

They tried Risperdal at first, which was useless.

yes our psych initially prescribed it as well

Hi Pag, some of our students have had anxiety meds but I'm afraid I don't tend to be privy to the ins and outs of it. We have had one student with very severe anxiety in the last number of years who also got a referral for long term play-based psychotherapy with CAMHS. It took a while to get into, but the benefit of it is that it is weekly ongoing long-term.

Bochead, that is a very useful link thanks. We have another student in this boat but unfortunately the parents don't want to pursue treatment at this time as they are very concerned about the word "mental health", however we are really struggling at school to know how to address his issues and could do with specific specialist advice.

You have all been so helpful. Thank you.

I gave ds2 a deep pressure massage last night before he went to sleep which he loved and sent him straight to sleep I think he must be so tense with all these stresses that at least I went to bed feeling I had helped a teeny bit as a first step.

Dh and I had a long talk and we think we will explore this further. He is seeing our gp (who is fantastic) about something else this morning and is going to ask if we could get a referral via him. He has taken the maudsley details as an example of the sort of service we are after.
Hopefully, if he is open to the idea then pagboy and I will go and chat with him.

I am looking again at his diet and exercise and will try to improve both.

But I feel like this is a start. So thank you all.

Ds1 has always been very anxious - and kicks off with it. My concern about medicating is that he is currently unable to communicate how it might affect him iykwim, although I know many people feel it can be beneficial. So it's not ruled out but I would have big concerns about that.

At the moment we manage his anxieties through strict boundaries (he's much less anxious if we put brakes on repetitive behaviours as much as we can, and we don't have that many boundaries really - but we do if something is making him anxious - if that makes sense) and surfing (of course ) Although half joking it really has helped enormously.

Ds1 is just entering puberty oh deep joy....

Jimjams
I am convinced by the surfing thing.
Ds2 is a different boy when we are by the sea. He paddles, swims, watches the waves and most of his tics disappear.

Yeah. I have the same concerns. He is so vulnerable because of how little he can articulate his feelings. But the anxiety is standing between so many things he could access and enjoy.
Rock. Hard place.
[sigh]