DS 13 Dyspraxia & probable AS, difficulty at school. Advice please

[starfish71]

Hi, here I am again, infrequent poster and permanent lurker! I have 2 DS, DS2 age 8 ASD and currently doing well in a Autistic support center attached to mainstream which I had to battle a bit with the LEA for last year and DS1 13 who is in year 8 of secondary has a dx of dyspraxia and many, many traits of ASD but who currently won't agree to any more assessments.

We did have a bit of a breakthrough just before Christmas when the Autism Outreach teacher (she is brilliant, know her through her involvement with DS2) went in and had a long chat with him in school, was very open and honest about his difficulties and he is coming around slowly to the idea that a dx could actually help him. Ed physc is involved too and school's deputy Head is quite supportive and know how hard DS is finding school.

DS is really under achieving in school, disinterested and not engaging much at all with any of the lessons or work, even now his favorite subjects. He had an awful start to year 8 and it has continued and I am really worrying about him.

To top it all off, at the end of last term DS accidently left his laptop behind on a school bus and we or school have had no luck in finding it. This stressed DS out over Christmas and today was his first day back.

Sent email this morning to ask can they arrange for DS to use a spare one and was told they don't have a spare and they have to ask the LEA if they can borrow one from somewhere. No idea how long it is going to take. There were no other suggestions put forward and DS has done nothing really all day in school (did a bit of maths) and is now saying he really can't bear to go into school tomorrow.

Considering all the difficulties the school he has and the how bad the last few months have been for him (school refusal, bullying etc) I really hoped they would have helped more. DS is quite a bit behind in his work as it is and this is not going to help me keep him in school.

Really, really long sorry. But I would like your thoughts on this please. Am so sad about it all.

Your post is a salutory note as to what can happen when children reach secondary school without having their additional support needs met beforehand. The support he has received to date there has to me seemed piecemeal.

You are his best - and only - advocate here. No-one else is better placed than you to fight his corner for him, this is because no-one else will.

Some thoughts off the top of my head:-
What has the EP in particular recommended re his schooling (these people can be useful re a statement application). This is becoming really urgent now given his previous issues re school refusal as well.

Have you met the Special Needs Dept and spoken with the SENCO?. Is DS on anything like SA plus currently?.

Was wondering too if you have considered applying for a Statement for DS?. You do not need a DX to apply nor school's permission to do so.

(BTW my son is in year 8 as well).

It is great that the Autism outreach lady made some headway with him, is there any way she could meet with him again too keep the ball rolling about him getting an AS dx.

It is a shame about the lap top, you might need to ring them a few times to get them moving.

Agree about seeing the SENCO. They should be supporting him more than it sounds like they are.

At Dd2's secondary they have a safe haven for lunchtimes and other times when the kids aren't coping.

Sorry not much advice really but didn't want to not reply.

Thanks Atilla for reply. EP did some tests with DS, results show he has poor working memory. She knows he is becoming more and more disengaged with school, requested Autism outreach in, which happened just before Christmas and they are going to do some training in school for teachers to understand more about how to deal with pupils with social and communication difficulties.

DS is on SA plus currently.

Am seriously considering requesting Stat assessment but EP has told me I should give school a chance to put more strategies in place before I go down that route. She is being helpful, phoned me to see how DS had found first day back, but I know I am only one that can act for DS to make sure he doesn't opt out of school completely.

How is your son finding secondary?

Thanks Ineedalife. Yes autism outreach lady will see him again soon and is arranging a home visit to talk to me and DH as we are finding it all quite hard.

DS really liked her, said she was awesome! Haven't seen SENCO since DS started year 7! We don't even see her for IEP reviews, the head of year just passes them on to us.

You really would think I would be more clued up having dealt with DS2 getting statement etc but because DS1 seemed to be coping this last year it has really thrown me.

Hi Starfish,

re your comment:-

"Am seriously considering requesting Stat assessment but EP has told me I should give school a chance to put more strategies in place before I go down that route"

EP is also under pressure by the LEA not to readily statement.

All that could take up yet more time and time is of the essense here. School likely neither have the time nor the resouces to properly support him and they have not gone exactly above and beyond to date have they?.

As it can take six months plus to get a statement set up (and that is without delays along the way so you are now looking at Y9) I would put it a request for this sooner rather than later given also his previous issues with school refusal. He needs more than school are currently giving him; they still have not told you when he will receive another laptop. Also you have not seen the secondary school SENCO since the start of Y7!. It is poor practice to be just handed the IEP without discussion or imput from you beforehand.

My son likes secondary school and has a statement; it has helped a lot over the years and he receives hover support in class. The SEN dept there is also on the ball which also helps.

You are his best - and only - advocate here starfish; you are in the best position to make a statement app.

I am not a great one for recommending people to apply for Statements,but in your case I would. If school are only just putting training in place they are a long way behind many Secondary schools in the country.
Go to the IPSEA website and look at their model letters for applying for Statutory Assessment and if necessary phone their helpline. It takes 6 months for the Statementing process anyway and school can still put things in place in the interim.

Thank you Atilla and Jandy, well I have typed the request up and just printed it off. I just feel nervous as DS1 was turned down for a stat assessment two years ago and I didn't appeal.

I hope I am doing the right thing. Going to post it while I have the courage. Thanks for your support.

Starfish

You're very welcome.

BTW if you get turned down again, do appeal their crass decision!!!!!!. Sometimes LEA's turn down parental requests on the most spurious of grounds so it is always worth challenging.

IPSEA's website is very good generally speaking re the whole statementing process.

Thanks again, will keep positive and look in detail at IPSEA website (used their template letter today).

Its posted, recorded delivery so now I need to prepare my parental advice.

May start new thread on that later x

starfish - who insured the laptop? Can a claim not be made?
Reading the thread with interest as DS1(dyspraxia, hypermobility, SPD) is in year 4 and school have said that it would be highly unlikely to get a statement. Which in all honesty, I believe. He is more SN, than SEN. But what worries me is the transition from primary to secondary.
I would call it disgraceful that the SENco hasn't seen you in all that time. I also thought that the IEP had to be discussed/agreed with you - rather than being given to you as a fait accompli. Rubbish SENcoing imo!

Hi auntevil, the laptop is from the LEA and they have insurance on it but like anything to do with LEA it all takes time to process and provide a new one. So DS has spent another difficult day at school with no laptop and looks really despondent tonight.

I was told in primary that DS wouldn't get a statement, and true enough they refused to assess. I accepted it at the time as DS was mostly coping in school but then he went up to secondary and it has been really hard.

I am sending an email tonight to DS's head of year just to let her know I have sent off request, really they have very little understanding of special needs in the school, I choose badly I think.

Will keep updating.

I agree with everything Atilla said.

Definitely apply for a Statement yourself and definitely appeal if LA refuses to assess.

Best wishes

Hi Starfish

In the event the LEA refuse your request you will need to appeal their crass decision. You should receive an answer from the LEA within 6 weeks.

Read the info contained in IPSEA's refusal to assess pack as well.

I have seen too many of DS's peers in secondary not have their additional needs fully met with results not totally dissimilar to what Starfish's DS is having to deal with currently.

Secondary school is a very different environment from Juniors and Auntevil you need to think longer term. Do not blithely accept school's pronouncement re statement because they could well be wrong (they were certainly wrong in my friend's case; she was told throughout that her child would never receive a statement). Until you make the application you will not know what the LEA's decision would be re a statement app. I would certainly be looking to obtain such a document prior to secondary school entry given your child's additional needs.

Do keep us updated.

Attilla, the current situation is that although he is in a good primary, that acknowledge his dx, provide reasonably good support on a physical level (OT, extra fine motor skills etc) he does not have any extra help from the educational side of things as he can access the curriculum fully and is above average academically.
I currently am up to having plan A, B, C and D for secondary schools - and know how long any statementing could take. I had this problem with his first primary school - that failed him. I was told by several SEN/SN professionals that I could take 2 different courses of action. I could leave him and wait until they had failed him so significantly that he would get a statement, or move him to somewhere that gave a damn. I opted for the second option - as I couldn't bear the thought of him suffering just because he didn't meet some nobody's criteria.