But he seems to be playing happily just now?

[Ihatecbeebies]

That was what my GP said to me when I took DS to him and raised my concerns about him having ASD (for about the 3rd time ). DS was getting bored and asked to play with a box of toys in the corner, when I listed the long line of the traits he had the GP then looked at him playing with the toys (he always goes into his own little world and plays on his own happily), he then objected with the fact that he was playing with the toys fine. It keeps running through my head as I've got our first paed appointment this week and I'm concerned about arguing DS's case and being told I'm wrong

Was this a reasonable statement that would indicate that he doesn't have autism?

Will I spend the time with the paed arguing that my son does have ASD while she regards me as an over anxious parent?

I'm panicking a bit I think as instead of getting support, I seem to be arguing with everyone about my concerns, even DS's dad wont believe that he has ASD and called social services when he found out that I had raised the issue of ASD (even though his brother and uncle both have autism...). I'm really worried about going there and being told everything is fine with DS when I know that it isn't.

DS2 can lose himself in toys if they're interesting enough. He still has moderately severe ASD and when you analyse how he's playing, it's not the same as a typical 5 year old by any stretch of the imagination.

No, it's not a reasonable statement.

There's no reason to assume your GP knows anything at all about ASD.

And this is why you don't get a dx of ASD on one visit. They need to see him at least a couple of times.

Try not to worry about the paed. They 'should' be much better at ASD spotting than a GP. In fact be prepared that they might flag up additional things that you hadn't even considered, and be prepared for that to hurt a bit.

If they suggest ASD is unlikely then insist they investigate WHAT is going on then.

Why were you at the GPs anyway when you already have a paed appointment?

Thanks for the replies, this was before I got the paed appointment a couple of weeks ago, but it keeps going through my head and I'm getting really worried and after getting the call from social services I am now analysing everything about DS and things people have said and worrying that the paed will think along the same lines as the GP or think that I'm over reacting.

GPs knowledge and experience of ASD is variable, and kids with ASD's ability to 'play' is also variable.
Luckily, paediatricians have more specialist knowledge (which is why you get referred onto them) and have seen an enormous number of children (with & without ASDs) playing with toys.
Your paediatrician will want to hear what you are worried about, and I'm sure you'll say you think it's ASD. That's helpful If the paed thinks it's something else, I would expect them to talk it through with you. A mum's instinct is an important part of the diagnosis process, so I really hope you feel listened to and respected.
Good luck!

A lot of GP's have NO knowledge of invisable disabilities and you'd be suprised what else they don't spot (eg my son's measles ffs!). This is why the NHS has specialists. A GP's job in this instance is merely to refer you to someone who does have the expertise to judge.

Your son may not be asd but he may have a milder condition such as a language disorder, audio processing disorder, dyspraxia, languagee delay, a visual issue etc. Your child will still need help if this is the case. Seeing the pead will still be a worthwhile excercise. IF he is asd, then early diagnosis and therapy can make such a massive difference to life chance outcomes that you'll never regret doing summat now.

A good parent notices when summat is not quite right and seeks help - a bad one plays ostrich and hopes it'll go away.

Take your list to the pead.

Re the dad and social services -

he is an idiot! SS do not judge you for asking for help with issues in young children (ie asking to see the pead). They consider this good parenting practice. They judge pretty fooking harshly if you ignore stuff though!!!!!

If it turns out there is something wrong he'll have discredited himself in a big way with the authorities. They will never listen to him again. If there isn't anything wrong you'll just be seen as a caring careful mother, and still in the right to get it checked out.

Ignore the dolt and take care of your child.

DS has recently been diagnosed with asd and he plays with toys beautifully, to be honest at home I hardly know he's there sometimes as he plays and plays for ages. So it is no indication that he does or doesn't have toys.

Now if I try to interfere with ds's play or try to direct it anyway that is when you see issues!!

that he does or doesn't have asd that should say, of course he has toys!

Thanks so much, your replies have made me feel more confident about the appointment this Friday, I've been having a look through previous threads too for more advice on what to take/ask for at the appointment too.

Ex has a history of domestic abuse towards me and neglect towards DS which is why I involved SS a couple of years ago to help with the situation with his father. The man who I talked to was great, he remembered Ex and also remembered that I'm doing a degree in psychology too so have some background education, he had also called the school and the HT had expressed her concerns too and he said that he was happy with how I was handling the situation and the coping mechanisms I was providing DS with and even sent me some information on support groups, but it was just the fact that Ex had doubted me to that degree (my own mother has even plastered over fb that I'm making it up which just added to my anxiety), and the visit to the GP that started me really panicking about it and wondering if maybe I wasn't handling the situation very well and the paed would think I was just over reacting.

Thanks again for your replies, they've made me feel much better

That really confused me catsdontcare
But yes - playing with a toy is not a yes/no diagnostic indicator. The paed will be interested in range and quality of play (eg.appropriate, imaginative, restricted or repetitive)

As far as getting a diagnosis is concerned I would recommned that you use your GP as a means to an end.

You need him for referrals so you need to keep him onside. If he knew anything about the variables within ASD he would never have said that so he is showing that he doesn't have a lot of knowledge.

Maybe you will be able to educate him a little along your journey. My GP started out knowing absolutly nothing about ASD but he has been on bits of our journey with us and is definity more understanding.

Good luck with the Paed app.

Some men can't stand to thnk they've produced summat less than perfect so get nasty about it. Grandparents/in-laws are another sticking point for most people - it's like they invented denial! (In my case my Mum is fantastic but one of my sisters is lucky she moved to the other end of the country frankly!).

It's time to separate your parenting opinion of yourself from your ex mentally! Remember at all times you are only responsible for you OWN actions and conscience. Make sure your conscience is the one that comes out on top with regards to your child. A very close friend pnce pointed out to me " One crap parent is bad luck but a kid can still do well", two is a disaster. Don't let it be a disaster!

SS will take your HT's opinion very seriously. If you AND the school are concerned there is an issue that needs investigating, then it needs investigating. Take advantage of the support groups now you know about them, we all need a bit of emotional reassurance from time to time & your family aren't helping right now.

Keep posting here! We'll do our best to lift your spirits when we can! I would have had a breakdown at one point last year without the support of some on this forum so see it as "paying it forward" and I know I'm not alone in that sentiment.

I think one of the big flaws in the system is that GPs need to be "convinced" that concerns patients express are valid (with regards to any medical issue).
It is so frustrating. I am so sorry to all GPs out there that actually know what they are doing, but from what I have experienced the majority don't have a clue.

I went to see the GP yesterday to ask about 3 referrals we are still waiting for with regards to my ds, i was amazed when he asked me "what is a statement". This is the head of the practice.

Hi, thought you may want an update;

Paediatrician appointment went well, she was lovely, didn't once belittle me or imply that I was over reacting. She listened to everything I had to say and complimented me on all the information I had put together for her. She even done some tests on DS too, and told me that he has low muscle tone which I hadn't even realised .

She has contacted both camhs and the autistic diagnostic team for our area to find out who would be best to see as she wants him assessed for autistic spectrum disorder, developmental dyspraxia and ADHD as she suspects all 3. She is also going to recommend getting a dx soon as DS is having trouble in school.

Thanks again for all of your support

Thats great! I have just read down this thread and thought the toy thing was a totally unreasonable statement!

I am glad you have got good support with your Pead x