Aspergers diagnosis for older child? did it help your child?

[flowwithit]

I am thinking of going to ask for diagnosis after long time of various social behavioural and eating difficulties, teachers and Ed Psyc.also implying Ds has mild Asperger. When i have looked into this in the past he does tick many of the traits boxes. He went at age 8yrs to be assessed he wes seen for about 15 mins!but we were just told he is bright but difficult child and given booklet on parenting!
I have read threads on here about Aspergers and the seem familiar. The difficulties are getting worse now as he is at secondary school which is much bigger than his primary and he is finding it very difficult and is very anxious and worried all the time re eating, germs, toilets, how busy it is and lots of older lads. It breaks my heart and i lose sleep worrying about him and how to help
I do my very best but I think i really need advice on how to best to help him and have access to SENCO which you need a diagnosis for. Work wise he is fine and above average in all except english. Speech and language fine though,he mainly just finds that english comprehensions are almost impossible so score low there. I'm not sure how it would effect him to know if he has mild Aspergers? I feel he might be very dissapointed and think negatively. Already with Anxiety and low self esteem i worry this might make him feel worse. How does it effect their future jobs ect? Do you have to declare it on all forms? Is the access to senco helpful enough to be worth me going back and going through assesment process again? Thanks

Ok that's good advice thanks I will go ahead and book ed psyc private as well and not mention to school. School have not said anything formal or used words such as action plus but when I spoke to NAS helpline they said he was prob on action plus coz they getting ed psyc involved. We have been told by psychiatrist he would not get a statement? Will have to ask again as a lot happened since then and maybe that's changed now?

The psychiatrist had no business telling you that your son wouldn't get a Statement. It's the LA that decides whether to issue Statements, not the NHS.
He should definitely be on Schools Action Plus (the last stage before a Statement) and you should insist that school do so and confirm that he is in writing.
A lot has happened since you saw the psychiatrist, as your son can no longer access full-time education due to his anxiety (as mine couldn't either). If you can get a GP to provide a certificate stating he's not fit to attend school then the LA must provide some home tuition. Usually about 5 hours a week minimum but as much as he is able to cope with and more if he is facing public examinations i.e. GCSEs.
Schools are very reluctant to apply for Statements as it's time-consuming and the support that would be described in a Statemnet costs money to deliver. So they prefer to tell you they are not required / there is no money / your child won't qualify for one etc. Which is all nonsense. If school will not initiate a request for an assessment that may lead to a Statement then you are legally entitled to do this yourself by writing directly to the LA and requesting an assessment. The IPSEA website shows you how to do this.

Well it looks like dx is just the start and seems it is a full time job getting help and doing things correctly. Thanks for great info I don't know how anyone ever used to manage before Internet days? At least we can be more informed! Via MN! And actually do something constructive to help Ds s.

Yes, the dx is just the start. Once you understand what is casuing his difficulties the hard work really starts to get him the support he needs to overcome them. It does become a full-time job!