Help - very stressful trip to the park............

[cwtch4967]

Took kids to the park this afternoon - ds 4 asd / ld & dd (nt) 6.

DS was obsessed by the ducks / geese / swans on the lake. They were all bobbing around flapping and quacking and he was jumping and flapping so much I thought he would take of himself! Fine - he was enjoying himself but I couldn't get him away, nothing worked he went into an hysterical meltdown - in the end I had to carry him back to the car kicking and screaming (not easy).
I didn't take the Mac Major today as he has been good walking recently and I don't want to get too reliant on it - I don't think I would have got him back in it anyway once he had gone into meltdown at having to leave.
I can't think how I could have done anything different - any advice???

I wouldn't stress it to be honest. I think it's great that you stuck to your guns and took him home once you'd decided time was up-it shows DS and DD that you mean business, and that you are in charge. That is very comforting for children, even though they rail against it sometimes!

Had you allowed him to stay in the park for longer, you would be sending the message that he is in charge, and that he can affect your decisions. He might have enjoyed the extra time with the ducks, but he would have been learning the lesson that Mummy doesn't really know what she's doing (sorry-assuming you are Mummy, not Daddy!).

In the long run, you will reap the rewards of being firm and fair with your son (yes, even with ASD-my DS1 would have screamed the place down at 4, but I stuck it out and now, he is (mostly) pretty compliant. He has ASD and a working diagnosis of PDA. He has full time suport at school, but he bloody well does as he's told at home!).

It is really hard work, but you deserve a pat on the back and a big .

hi cwtch (love the name), my ds just turned 5, ASD and LD, am sure you did all the count down to going things, just wanted to suggest sand timer? we got 5 and 10 min ones and ds seemed to somehow almost feel it wasn't us saying 'stop', or 'carry on', it was the timer, so he was less stroppy, also cos he could see the time counting down it seemed to work for him.

We also backed up the count down with signs, (altho ds was pretty non verbal at the time) I still give count downs with speech and signs. Its' always, one more, last one, all finished,

Hope that's useful? sorry if we are in grandmother and egg sucking,

The timer tip is a good one - we haven't had any luck with one so far but haven't tried for a while - now that he is in school it may be worth another try.
The park is one school often take him - I'm going to have a word with the teacher next week and see what they do when it's time to go and how he reacts for them.

good thinking, . when did he start, Sept? us too.

As well as counting down, can you give hum a positive reason to move on, eg drink of juice, listen to a favourite cd in the car etc?
It's so embarrassing when they kick off like that. With my ds its almost always to do with low blood sugar.

What about a picture board of NOW (picture of playground area of park) THEN (picture of geese). These help my DS in being a bit more compliant about doing something he doesn't want to do/ isn't as keen on, as he knows somethng eh does like is coming right after it. As mine has gotten a little older I can now just tell him verbally but still find this approach helpful.

I always used to have bubbles or a balloon with me but haven't needed them so much recently, they almost always work as a distraction!
He started part time at special school in Sept, going full time from next week (can't wait!!!)

Sorry you have had a rotten day have had the exact same scenario with DD. Before we leave house I get her to select a treat for the car for after the park. Usually by warning DD it will be time to leave and that her special treat is waiting for her in the car or maybe tell her we are going somewhere else that she likes usually does the trick. I always had to bribe her though with a better option.

We found the timer app on iPad good for a particularly nasty but short lived bit of refusal. But sometimes they are just going to melt down, you know? (I speak as someone too ashamed to return to local ceramic painting place after the last one...)

Do you have a visual timetable you can take out with you? I have a card for DS which says '1 minute left' and on the reverse it says 'finished now'. It does help prepare him for something he enjoys doing to finish, and does help minimise meltdowns-doesn;t work everytime but it does help DS understand that an activity is going to end.

My Ds always used to do this !

He doesn't often now. Just stick with all that you're doing.I always count down (for everything)I say 'one more slide' 'one more swing' etc then 'playing at park finished'. It works now,so give it time...but isn't it a nightmare when it doesn't !

...and I know what you mean about the flapping. That brought familiar pictures to mind

Thanks for all the tips. It's so good to share with others who understand!