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17 replies

bunz · 06/01/2012 13:40

Hello everyone, I am mum to 3 girls 11, 9 & 7. My 11yr old is on the Autistic Spectrum and I have been trawling the internet for books or help on puberty and I found my self here!
Could anyone recommend any books or strategies on how they worked through this subject?

OP posts:
IndigoBell · 06/01/2012 15:59

Hi,

I don't know of any books or strategies for you, but just wanted to say welcome.

My DS is also 11 and also has ASD. And every time they do sex ed at school he leaves the room :)

He was really quite distraught after last year's lesson, so I made his dad talk to him :)

If you're in the UK, she's probably already been taught quite a lot at school. Maybe you could ask school what they have covered, and what they're planning to?

BriocheDoree · 06/01/2012 16:27

hello Bunz, I wnet to a brilliant seminar about ASD/AS kids and sexuality. Some of the material I have is in French (I live in France!) but there was some really good stuff in English, too. Will try and dig it out for you. My DD is only 7 but I went along because forewarned is forearmed!

Ineedalife · 06/01/2012 16:35

Hi bunz, welcome to the board. Am watching with interest as i made a complete hash of doing puberty withDd1 who is undiagnosed but i am sure she has AS.

Dd3 is 9 has ASD and is probably well on her way to puberty.

creatovator · 06/01/2012 17:22

Hi Bunz. I'm studying autism and have done an assignment on this topic. It's a bit wordy and probably goes into more detail than you'd like, but has references at the end which are useful. If you'd like a copy you could private message me. Or I could just send a copy of my references.

creatovator · 06/01/2012 17:23

PS. DS has dx AS and is 10 yrs. We've had signs of puberty since he was 9.

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 06/01/2012 17:52

Hi bunz. No help I'm afraid, just saying hello. My DS2 has ASD and is 12. Thank God he's a boy and scrawny. No sign of puberty yet and it's simpler for boys. Even DS1, who's 14 has just got a bit spotty.

tooearlymustdache · 06/01/2012 17:57

hi Bunz

i know nothing about puberty in ASD DCs but have a 4 yr old DD who is having assessments.

welcome to the section Smile

streakybacon · 07/01/2012 15:35

Hi bunz, and welcome.

I used Let's Talk About Sex by Robie Harris for my son with AS - he's now 13 and we started using the book at around 8 years, revisiting it as and when needed.

But as ever with children on the autistic spectrum, it's never as straightforward as just going through a book. I found I needed to be alert to any changes in temperament, anxiety etc and know when to end the discussion or explain in more/less depth. I also supplemented with tv programmes where appropriate.

I guess I dealt with the general subject with openness and fact, which was what he could cope with best at the time, and introduced the emotional aspects later when he was ready for it. Other children might prefer to do it the other way around but ds was/is very science-minded so the primarily factual approach worked best for him. He's now just as interested in how people tick so we look at it from that angle too.

Overall, I found that as I'd started off being open and having no embarrassment or discomfort around the subject, he's much the same so will ask me anything he wants to know.

That said, with an AS child there's a lot more to it than simply 'sex education' - you can't really separate it from other areas of personal development - so you'd need to consider incorporating elements like personal space, appropriate interaction, personal preference and difference etc as it's all linked IMO.

vjg13 · 07/01/2012 17:17

I found this book 'Taking Care of Myself: A Hygiene, Puberty and Personal Curriculum for Young People with Autism [Paperback]'
on Amazon and did find it quite useful for my daughter (who has global developmental delay). The language is a bit American but you can adapt it.

bunz · 07/01/2012 20:44

Thanks everyone :) I am not looking forward to this stage as she is still struggling with using the toilet & personal hygiene.
As for her school she attends a ss and they told me they normally leave sex education and all that! to the secondary school (very helpful) and she is the first girl they have had for about 6yrs.

OP posts:
lisad123 · 07/01/2012 22:22

well if your in herts, i can recommend a great autism for girls support group :)

mumslife · 08/01/2012 09:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vjg13 · 08/01/2012 10:58

Bunz, I was dreading puberty with my daughter for those reasons but it has all gone much better than I could have hoped. She manages her periods fairly well and is not phased by it or upset. She has just worked out it can be an excuse for not going swimming Grin.

dazeycat · 08/01/2012 11:11

Bunz, I share your worries. My dd is 9, and I am dreading the onset of periods. She has such limited language, I don't know where to start with explanation. I think I'll just have to deal with it when it happens as I know she just won't understand if I try to prepare her beforehand. vjg13 has given me a bit of hope. I can imagine my dd might just accept what's happening if we deal with it in a matter of fact way.

By the way, I don't any real life parents of asd girls so good to know you're out there.

bunz · 09/01/2012 14:28

We live in Oxfordshire :( It is great to speak to parents of girls

vjg13 Thank you, here's hoping that I am worrying about nothing and she will take it all in her stride :) dazeycat I think I have been bit like you and left it alone and worry that if I try and prepare her too much in advance that will worry her, but you still have a little while (hopefully) :) but I worry telling her nothing and her periods just start that will really "freak" her out. At the moment she thinks if she has the smallest graze she needs a plaster.

OP posts:
vjg13 · 09/01/2012 18:11

We talked about it a lot in advance, in very general simplistic terms and how it is nothing to worry about. She did start much earlier than I did and was about 12.5 years old.

I do have to say that her 8 year old sister does have a very detailed knowledge now Smile.

eatyourveg · 09/01/2012 18:37

This is the book I have. ds2 loves it and picks it up a lot. Pity the look inside feature on Amazon doesn't actually show anything but the grown ups bit.

£17 is expensive but worth it imo. You can get it cheaper for around £12 at the book depository see here

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