ASD playdates

[Anoah]

I wanted to ask mums of special needs kids (primarily ASD) how they feel about playdates.

My DS age 5 probable ASD (who rarely talks) said to me out of the blue today, very matter of factly "nobody plays with me". He is in mainsteam school with support.

I feel so bad because I want him to have friends but I don't know how to go about this. I moved here from another country and don't know anyone in Yorkshire. There is another boy in his class who is very similiar, they share the same teaching assistant, and the two of them are usually sat together at school. Teacher let it slip to me that this child is undergoing the same assesments as my DS.

I don't know the parents at all but I was going to be brave and ask them (mum) if she wants to bring her DS around to play with my DS.

Is this too forward? I think she might think I am nuts because I don't even know them well. I am just desperate for DS to have a friend around to play with like other little boys. My own social skills are a joke ( I have some ASD traits)so this is something I feel uneasy about.

No, I ask, I'm sure she is almost certainly feeling the same.

Otherwise were in Yorkshire are you? We are also in Yorkshifre, near Pontefract.

The parents never really know each other, but the children do! Go for it and invite him over, or any other children your son says he would like to have to play.
a)its a good way for you to make friends and b) would be good fun for your son. (i suppose i should have put those in reverse order, selfish me .

My dd doesn't have SEN, but has a few friends who do (one with ASD). All her friendships are the same regardless whether the friend has SEN's and I often invite them round to play with her.

my DD has sn(cp) and I have in the past found playdates a really good way of meeting other parents. I would ask the other parent as she is probally going through quite a hard time and would be really pleased. If he likes other kids in the class just ask them to tea

I don't have experience (yet) of a child at m/s school, so this may be a stupid suggestion. WOuld it be possible to write a note for the boy to take home to his mum? This means you don't have the embarrassment of asking her, if you feel uncomfortable, and she doesn't have to say yes or no on the spot. Just a short, informal note saying they seem to be together at school and it would be nice to let them play together at home and please come and have a cup of tea with me or leave him here if you're happy to. You may be her fairy godmother!

yes ask, you will probably make the other mums day, my three have autism my youngest is in mainstream, he is now in year four, its only in the last year that he has been invited to other kids houses, he goes to his girlfriends every week now and she comes to us most weeks, he has been to two other mates houses too, he has always been invited to parties but only started to get playdates in the last year, my twin girls are 11 and at SN school they go to a classmates house for tea once a week but i stay with them as their mates mum has enough on looking after her own kids.

Message withdrawn

did you ask?