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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

i cant get my head rtound the fact dd2 may have SN

25 replies

misdee · 13/01/2006 18:58

finding this hard. HV is coming round monday to fill in his parts on the dla forms. i just cant think of dd2 with SN, different needs yes, special needs no.

OP posts:

Socci · 13/01/2006 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Aloha · 13/01/2006 19:25

Special needs can be different needs. I'm sure your dd has many gifts, some of which will be result of her differences. I know this is the case with my ds.

Blossomhill · 13/01/2006 19:45

Well I was the same as you Misdee. However the term special needs has really changed from years ago.
I remember the manager of dd's sn playgroup saying that a child with a broken arm is classed as having a "special need" as they need more help than a child without. It's such a wide spectrum.
Another example is when dd was put on the disability register and at that time I just didn't see her as "disabled". I do now as know "communication" is a huge thing and not being able to do it effectively can be very disabling.
It is hard I know but it does get easier, promise!

Original poster

misdee · 13/01/2006 20:28

tbh its only now i seeing more differences. like the fact i wont let her use the toilets at dd1 school, as it then becomes part of her routine. this happened at dd1 old school, dd2 was desperate one day so we nipped into the school to use the loo. the next day the same happened and so on. but she didnt need the loo, just wanted to go to the toilets and sit on the toilet without doing anything. when idecided to stop this, as it was annoying, it resulted i na tantrum in the playground.

i find her easy in some ways and so 'normal' most of the time, as i am used to her, but when i see her with other kids her age, it hits me that she is different and things dont come to her so easily.

OP posts:

nutcracker · 13/01/2006 20:33

Misdee I kinda know what you mean i think. I am debating with myself at the mo as to wether dd2 has ODD. She certainly has behavrioural probs that are effcting us greatly, and our daily routines are effected because of this (not to mention my sanity).

Part of me would love someone to say 'oh yes, it's obvious she has xyz', but the other half of me doesn't even want to go there.

Original poster

misdee · 13/01/2006 20:34

i just want to see the list the pre-school has of her behaviours. i should ask to see it, to see if it tallies wih my own note book of comments, but i dont want to. i think it will hurt too much.

OP posts:

Original poster

misdee · 13/01/2006 20:37

would you ask for referral nutty? we have, and are waiting for the 1st appt with paed about this, but part of me doesnt want to do it.

OP posts:

nutcracker · 13/01/2006 20:37

Think I'd have to see it, don't think I could stop myself.

Sounds horrid but i'd love dd's school have concerns too, would stop me thinking it's me or that I am imagining it.

nutcracker · 13/01/2006 20:39

Am not sure at the mo Misdee, am really torn about it.

Lots of people seem to think she is just nauighty and that I am partly to blame, so at the mo we are trying different ways of dealing with her to see if it helps or not.

She has improved alot this week but it's something I have had to make an effort with every day which to me isn't normal.

Original poster

misdee · 13/01/2006 20:39

i honestly though i was imagining it, even tho mieow and my other sister had concerns as well. so i didnt tell the pre-school when she started any of my concerns. i told myself, if there is soemthing wrong they will pick up on it. and they have

OP posts:

nutcracker · 13/01/2006 20:41

In a way that is good though, although can obviously see why it is upsetting.

Remind me how old your dd2 is, i forget ?

nutcracker · 13/01/2006 20:41

I don't think I meant effort, more complete changes to anything and everything we do.

Original poster

misdee · 13/01/2006 20:42

she is 3. pre-school want her fully assessed so she can get the help she needs at nursery in sept.

OP posts:

Aloha · 13/01/2006 20:44

Some of these things will change as she gets older misdee. She won't always want to sit on the same toilet

Original poster

misdee · 13/01/2006 20:45

lol aloha. i know.

OP posts:

nutcracker · 13/01/2006 20:46

I keep thinking she is older, my bloody memeory is crap lately.

Original poster

misdee · 13/01/2006 20:56

she seems older to me as well most people think she is about 5. which doesnt help matters.

OP posts:

newscot · 13/01/2006 20:56

My DD, 5 has a diagnosis of HF ASD. I felt physically sick when all of this came out, thought I could never be happy again. After a year of speech and having started school she is just absolutely brilliant- she is happy, full of life, a socialite and lots of friends. I do not think of DD as having special needs she just has her own unique personality.

Aloha · 13/01/2006 20:57

I think that's very true. I am lucky in that ds is little and chubby and everyone thinks he is an amazing child prodigy of three. Your dd is only a baby really.

Original poster

misdee · 13/01/2006 21:00

she was standing next to a little boy who is a month younger than her, and she towers above him. she is bigger tha some of the kids in dd1 class (5 going on 6).

OP posts:

Blossomhill · 13/01/2006 21:03

Sorry just wanted to hijack.Hi Newscot, haven't seen you around in ages. So pleased to hear you sounding so happy and positive and that dd is doing well. That's made me feel very .
We must catch up on email or msn if you have it. I'd love to hear how dd is doing!

tensing · 13/01/2006 22:59

It is hard, I found it very hard when my daughter was diagnosed with diabetes, a complete shock.

Strangly with my son there has never been that shock reaction with any of his diagnosis.

newscot · 13/01/2006 23:26

Brief hijack-hello Blossomhill. Life just extremely busy, no other excuse for not posting. Will try and catch up. Yes, DD is just full of the joys of life- she always has been but she is now so much more confident in herself.

amynnixmum · 14/01/2006 11:11

With ds I was quite shocked when the paed said he thought it was AS - even though I already knew that he displayed much of the behaviour it was upsetting to have it confirmed by a professional. Ds is HF so he often seems like any other NT child his age but over the last year through reading up and observing him I have come to realise that he is definately on the spectrum even if he never actually ends up with a specific diagnosis. TBH though I now find it easier to cope with his challenging behaviour as I understand it more and now know ways to
manage it and help him. My dh also finds it much easier to deal with ds when he thinks of it as a disability rather than him just being naughty.

LIZS · 14/01/2006 11:21

I think of it as a sort of grieving process - for the child you thought you had. However at the end of it comes the realistation that your child is still the same, only your perception of them has changed. Trying to use that to get positive help and greater understanding of their difficulties and strengths, as you are doing, can help you come to terms with it whatever the label but imho what you are feeling is very normal.

hth

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