Well, here it is, DS due to start new school after a year of hell!

[appropriatelytrained]

What a nightmare year!

It's not like I flatter myself with having had a particularly easy life before, but, this year has been extraordinarily bad.

Lying LA, S&LT, school. Having to home school DS with the consequent reduction in work opportunities and, to top it all, being branded vexatious and watching the shitty little administrators at the LA bandy that around to whomever will listen.

Now, three months after finding the school, DS is due to start a new one. It will be slow going to start with as he won't be full-time but dare I hope this will be a constructive new start? Will this school really 'work with parents'? How will DS cope?

This could be like moving on if we weren't burdened with the crapsters who dumped this nightmare on us in the first place - the LA and colluding services.

I've still got one of them to face this week after she produced a report 5 months after seeing us suggesting DS's test scores were so 'well below average' because he played about while she was testing him. Funny she didn't think to mention that at the time.

So, this rambling post is just to say - plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose - the more it changes, the more it's the same thing.!!

Good luck and I hope it all goes well and the school are willing to work with the parents. I also hope your DS enjoys it.

Good luck!

Its a new start for your DS which is good. New friends, new surroundings and I really hope he gets great support with it :)

How is your DS feeling about it all?

If I remember correctly this school is located in a different LA?

That means the teachers/ta's working with your child on a day to day basis won't be directly on Satan's payroll. There's a degree of seperation there from the politico's at least at ground zero that offers a ray of hope.

I'm not asking you not to fret, but simply to take the people you come across in the new environment at face value. Where they initially make mistakes, give them gentle correctve guidance tempered with compassion for their lack of expertise and the opportunity to learn how to help your kid.

If you feel cynical internally, hide it initially (I'm not telling you to suffer utter fools gladly btw!) until they've had the opportunity to prove to you they care about your kid or nay.

My own child has gone thru 3 primaries and one behavioral unit by the end of year 2. It was school number 3 that finally seemed to give even a remote damn about my lad. Lor - how things have improved over the last 6 months (I won't lie - the first term was a disaster! BUT at least we were all on the same page in admitting it was dire so we could work together to improve).

It's so hard not to be anxious/despondant/cynical BUT that's the point where I feel you risk letting the legions of dishonest, lying toerags win and your kid is failed forever. Don't give the barstewards the satisfaction as the nasty LA administrators/colluders won't even remember your child's name in 10 years.You have to be able to give your kid the reassurance they need that things are gonna get better, (even though you may doubt it yourself). Kids pick up on "Mum vibes" better than we realise, even if they can't communicate it.

For myself I just need a year or two when I can work again (eg my DS is full time, and I'm not stuck homeschooling or flexischooling) so that I can work to regroup my resources and pay for therapies the NHS doesn't provide/perhaps relocate to a "better" part of the country in terms of services for my DS. (Even when things are going "OK" now I lack faith and want the choices that not eking an existence would give me in case the crap flares up again).

Good luck.

You def deserve some.

Yes. really hope things go better for you all this time around and that your faith in humanity is restored.
Let us know.

Blimey, are you me????

I did the same, had to take ds1 out of a dreadful school and Home schooled for 10 months and he has now been at his new school for over a year. It is in a different LA.

Its not perfect - nothing ever is - but he is happy and thats the main thing.

Good luck x

hope it all goes really well for you and ds of course,xxx

Thank you so much everyone. I don't know what I would have done without this board this year.

How else would we normalise our experiences? I think we would be so isolated we would be driven mad!! Just to be able to post something that sounds ludicrous, paranoid and a bit insane and have it responded to by many other sensible posters who say 'yup that happened to me to' makes the world of difference.

Thanks Bochead for your very sensible advice. I will take this in very small steps. The school have shown a willingness to work with us and to care for DS and that in itself is a massive difference. You are right too about the need to pass on positive vibes to DS. I will try and keep it all very upbeat.

Becaroo - that is a good goal isn't it? That your child is happy. DS has picked up so many 'bad habits' in order to cover his tracks and not have to engage - lying on his desk, just saying 'I don't know' when asked a question he clearly does know the answer to, refusing to do things because they challenge him and he's scared of failing, and they left him to his own devices in the last place. It is going to be a big change!

Thank you all so much

For me it absolutely is atm...he was so desperately unhappy in his old school (long story!) that its a big thing for him to happily go into school every morning

good luck
my ds has started in a new school after being out for a year.

good luck to you and your ds - and the whole family, of course.

does he go back today? how does he feel?