DD asks us to hit her

[tooearlymustdache]

Evening all, yes I know it's NYE but since i'm going to be in and home alone (DH is working) i thought i'd do something constructive and fill out a few forms for our upcoming Paed appt

DD is 4.6yrs and is def showing HFA/ASD traits, has many routines etc, but her most recent 'quirk' is really worrying me.

she asks DH and i to hit her, she has always slapped herself on the head and laughed, but now she's asking us to do it

i have smacked her in the past as punishment - i know, the worst thing i could ever have done, i'm not proud, i'm ashamed and disgusted with myself, but this is not linked to that at all, she doesn't do it for punishment, she does it as a game.

does anyone elses DC do this, what's the best way to deal with it?

i'm most worried that she'll start asking other children at school to do it, and the consequences of that....well

Hi tooearly. I'm no expert, but from the little training I've had on sensory stuff, it sounds like she's sensory seeking i.e. her brain is looking for stimulation through her senses. It's called being hypo sensitive. A child can be both hyper (over) and hypo (under) sensitive in different areas at different times. If they're under sensitive they will touch things lots as their brain is looking for more information.

My DS, dx AS, gets very fidgety at times and also bangs into things or people on purpose. We give him bear hugs to help him, "centre" himself again. It works well. Pushing against a wall can have the same affect, or rolling him up in a blanket and pressing down on him. (An OT taught me how). Massage is good too, but needs to be quite firm.

Hope this helps, but I'm sure someone else will be along to give more advice.

DD is also very fidgety, she's sitting down now watching the bedtime story on TV and her little legs are going 99 to the dozen!

she has also been very accident-prone today, no spacial awareness it seems

thanks for the information, it's all something to put down in the book isn't it?

My ASD daughter went through a phase of loving having the soles of her feet slapped (sounds awful, but like hand clapping) by me or dh. Your dd might get the required sensory input from similar, hand or foot clapping/slapping, if you see what I mean. You can sing one of those clapping rhymes from childhood, which makes it even more of a game.

thanks Leonie, although i've not seen DD hit herself in anything but 'entertainment' since she was a baby

we had to move her out of a wooden cot at 9mths old due her rolling about in her sleep so much she was waking up by knocking into the bars

dazeycat that makes perfect sense! she loves doing 'high 5's' - it's become our 'secret' code for her letting me know if she needs to change her pants coming out of school - you guys are fab

tooearly

Just remembered something else. OT suggested a bottom layer of a tight fitting top, like a size too small of a long sleeved tshirt. It acts a bit like a hug all day.

we had a 'bit of a day' yesterday, but remembered about clapping games, that really helped to chill her down!

someone else suggested (Leningrad i think) tucking her in with a tight sheet under the duvet to help her sleep, this has helped too.

again, you guys rock! (so does DD )

DS is sensory seeking too. His method is jumping off things and he also likes being squeezed and wrapped up tighly in blankets when things get too much.

We have a small exercise trampoline set up for him to jump up and down over the winter when its too wet /dark for outside and that has helped.

too early if she is seeking that much sensory information through her head could you give her a head massage/ a tight hat?
How is she when she has her hair washed or cut?
She might be a child who would benefit from a weighted blanket to curl into when she needs it or for night time use.
And being wrapped up tight in a big 'squishy hug' often helps too.

so much of 'her' is making sense now, she often wears a hair band or hat. she'll keep a hat on all day if she can.

she actually loves having her hair cut and brushed, not washed though as she's really sensitive about water in her face.

we had a trampoline when she was younger, but she jumped so hard on it i got rid - she was getting dangerous!

she also loves jumping off things... hugs are harder to give

we did her Pearson questionnaires thingies last night, it's really hitting home how much we have dealt with our CAHMS nurse said we've been 'socially interpreting' for DD - we're in this for the duration aren't we?

this is the 'real deal' i reckon

I remember writing something similar last year along the lines of how could I have not noticed something was wrong as when someone points it out to you it seems obvious. The fact is that they are our children and we are with them all the time and accept how they are and work with it.

Its only when they have to face a bit more of the real world that it goes wrong as it doesn't bend like we do as parents.

Well said barf. We have them from birth and without ever realising we accomodate from the get go. The fussy eater, the appalling sleeper, the slow to toilet train etc etc Nothing stand out by itself but all together....
And when you are asked the right questions by a professional, and its all going together, its a bit like 'why did I not see it'.
tooearly the extra information sounds like sensory seeking behaviour. As some Psychologists say 'there is no wrong behaviour' everything meets a need. So she is seeking heavy information (jumping, trampoline-ing, fidgeting, enjoys hugs).

How is she when she is on a height e.g. at playground? What is her response to spinning? Or unexpected noise?

I would look into Proprioceptive Disorder. Very simply it means a person doesn't entirely know where their body ends and the world begins. is great, if a little cheesy.

If you think it fits (from what you say about constant moving/jiggling, slapping parts of her body and jumping too hard etc it might well) then something like this might help. You can also buy heavy lap toys to help children sit still for longer. Vibrating toys/cushions are good too.

Blueemerald thanks for that link and info, i'm not sure about the heavy-handedness of her general behaviour - she's doesn't seek to hit out at other DCs or adults, but i will definitely mention her need for jumping as well.

Wannabe DD loves spinning and roundabouts, swings and slides. she occassionaly says she's scared of heights, but if there are other children around she can copy climbing, she's off like a shot. She's very wary, but once she finds her feet and 'head' she loves it.

she's always been a bit of a climber, over furniture, under tables...she could climb and jump long before she could walk....

and sudden noise is a big no-no - hand driers, motor bikes etc send her into a panic

tooearly yeah the climbing/spinning; that fits with sensory seeking- it could be happening for a few different reasons... she could be looking for sensory information to 'alert/wake-up' her nervous system. She could also be doing it to help her manage more threatening sensations (e.g. the high frequency noises you've mentioned). As someone else menetioned, she could be seeking intense proprioceptive sensation by jumping. She could be doing it because she's good at climbing and likes it!

But combined with having difficulty with high frequency sounds (hand driers, motor bikes...sometimes hair dryers, vacuum cleaners, washing machines on spin) its starting to look like your DD has sensory processing issues.

So what to do:- well, a Paediatric OT/Paed Physio/some SALTs will do a Sensory Profile (e.g. Winnie Dunn questionnaire) which would help identify areas she is good at/having difficulty with. And then to formulate a treatment plan.

A good general rule of thumb is to 'see behaviour, think sensory' i.e. look at what she chooses to do, think what 'reward' she is getting from it and brainstorm ways that she can get it in a more appropriate/structured way. So slapping your head not so good; becoming an expert in head massage- good.