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SN children

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Original poster

anyone else have a child with severe ASD who just isn't into Xmas?

25 replies

FanjoForTheReindeerJumper · 25/12/2011 08:25

It's a bit grim to wake up to hundreds of tales of excited kids on Facebook when yours isn't interested in presents and just cries and ignores you when you say Merry Christmas so thought we.might need a support thread. Or I can just sit here alone and cry into my choccies

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Original poster

FanjoForTheReindeerJumper · 25/12/2011 08:26

PS Merry Christmas!

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Spinkle · 25/12/2011 08:52

Hi Fanjo. There's been a couple of meltdowns here already. He is taking some interest, more than last year, so I can offer some hope for the future.

Enjoy the choccies and Merry Christmas!

Original poster

FanjoForTheReindeerJumper · 25/12/2011 08:58

Thanks, good to know there is hope

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Dustinthewind · 25/12/2011 09:06

Mine was the opposite when younger. He liked shiny stuff.
So my home looked like a cheap grotto for weeks, everything wrapped in tinsel. He used to get very cross if we had to unwind the tinsel to do basic things like cook or go to the toilet. You'd try to exit a room and find he'd barred it with garlands and paper chains and shiny strings of stuff.
Used to have to hide Christmas foodstuffs and ration them out or he'd have eaten the lot in one gorgefest, his and anyone else's he could glean.
Life got easier with every Christmas.

TOTU · 25/12/2011 09:19

After 7 years, my son has FINALLY unwrapped his own presents and shown some excitement...then he walked away from everything and is watching old DVD's on his old DVD player instead of his new DVD's on his new TV\DVD (sigh).

One step at a time. He has improved so hopefully your DC will too

Original poster

FanjoForTheReindeerJumper · 25/12/2011 09:23

Yay that is good news! :)

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Dustinthewind · 25/12/2011 09:27

TOTU, I'm sure he will grow to love his new stuff. Just in time for more new stuff to come along and be regarded suspiciously.

eatyourveg · 25/12/2011 09:29

Congrats to your ds TOTU. This is ds2's 16th Christmas and he told us yesterday that he wanted to try and unwrap all his presents. Never managed it before, the record was 4 last year. As it stands he has opened 1, 7 to go. For years had to put unwrapped presents in a huge bag which he could peer into. It was placed in the corner of the room and he just investigated when he felt up to it. Some years they'd stay in the bag for weeks!

Original poster

FanjoForTheReindeerJumper · 25/12/2011 09:32

Congrats to your DS2!

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Dustinthewind · 25/12/2011 09:33

I love having a corner on the site where other people read what you post and smile with recognition and understanding.

TOTU · 25/12/2011 09:56

fanjo thanks for this thread.

dust You are right. He's just retreating to his safety zone. He'll be obsessed with the new stuff in a while.

eats congrats to your DS2. Maybe he'll beat last years record?!

I'm also very glad for this board. Reminds me of a song "youuuuu are not alone....."

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 25/12/2011 11:19

It's hard when 2 boys are suitably excited and the other opens his presents and then goes off to his bedroom with his iPod to watch YouTube. But it has got better.

The thing I've worked out is to have pretty low expectations, make sure that he's got things he actually enjoys because although he will never be the stereotypical child, he does have fun and is happy when he's doing his thing.

lisad123 · 25/12/2011 13:19

we dont celebrate xmas in our house for religious reasons, so im about most of the day to moan at
Girls are currently upstairs playing old ds games and laughing, dh is maing pancakes for lunch and im watching tv. :)
Hope you all have a good day

cwtch4967 · 25/12/2011 13:56

DS managed a WOW when he saw the presents under the tree - the torch was a big hit! He's 4 and doesn't understand Christmas at all but we have a 6 year old daughter who does so we have to make sure they both have stuff to open or dd would be upset! She opened most of his for him!

Original poster

FanjoForTheReindeerJumper · 25/12/2011 14:32

Today is going well so far since DD is just enjoying being at the ILs, family dinner will be a test though, although NT nephews will play up anyway

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ouryve · 25/12/2011 15:21

DS1 has taken it all in his stride this year and had opened his huge pile of pressies (lots of little things like hairgel and pencils in there as well as the boxes of lego) with military efficiency.

He's spent most of the morning being peed off with DS2, though, who took until lunchtime to open his small pile.

troutpout · 25/12/2011 16:38

Lol had to smile at some of these
Ds (14) doesn't really get Xmas . Someone asked him what he wanted and he said he wanted a ruler to replace the one in his pencil case which he broke at school. I managed to find the same one... So he was happy with that. He seemed quite happy with some books he got and various quirky items that i knew he would like.he managed dinner quite well... And even joined in a game. Then he retreated to his bedroom.

InExcelsisDeo · 25/12/2011 18:35

We ignored christmas and kept things like a normal sunday as far as we could. Which took some ingenuity as the rest of the world was not cooperating with today being a normal nonthreatening routine sunday

But it meant DS had a normal happy day (as opposed to the special sort of day he might be expected to enjoy, but wouldnt). And consequently I am more able to enjoy a nice evening now he has been able to go to sleep. Our best Christmas day in years I'd say.

saintlyjimjams · 26/12/2011 18:08

Yes, although he coped better than previous years but we didn't really get him anything. The bag of haribo in his stocking went down well, and family in the main gave surf lessons (although he won't realise he's been given them iyswim, but hey ho). He did open two presents without much pushing, and the other boys opened some others for him.

Actually quite relaxed yesterday, bloody awful today.

Original poster

FanjoForTheReindeerJumper · 26/12/2011 19:32

We are still at in-laws..DD has found a wee brush used to.clean pressure cooker and is totally.fixated on it, but at least its keeping her happy.

Still getting the odd judgy remark when she kicks off at the table, as if she is being naughty, yeyerday FIL said 'I think her brain works as well as you or I's'(DD Has SLDs and other issues)

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Bakelitebelle · 26/12/2011 20:24

I was going to start a thread like this myself, Fanjo.

Had a miserable Christmas with DS in meltdown and attacking me and then a whole load of other things happened and it just got worse. I started crying at 11.30 and couldn't stop.

My family celebrated Christmas 200 miles away without us as we don't get invited and wouldn't come if we were as DS is too difficult now.

Hey ho, at least we have a very good respite package. Without which I think I would throw in the towel. It just happens that Christmas day is the one day where nothing is open, there is no help and expectations are raised. I am honestly thinking of sending my other children away for Christmas Day next year, so at least they have a nice time and aren't attacked

Bakelitebelle · 27/12/2011 00:33

oh dear, think I might have killed this thread...with my negativity..

sphil · 27/12/2011 00:38

Ds2 has been a bit better this year in that he's shown more interest in his presents but we've still had to unwrap most of them for him. I never wrap stocking stuff, but even putting his hand into the stocking is a big ask for him. He just doesnt like surprises! I think the reason he's shown more interest is because people have been brilliant in what they've bought for him - it amazes me how much thought they put in. His favourite thing this year is a dog money box that eats the coins you put into a bowl.

On the other hand, we bought him an air swimmer clown fish (he loves Nemo) which he has totally ignored. It took Dh and I about four hours to construct the bloody thing, it's enormous and it's now just floating sinisterly in our dining room. Tiny little expanding flannel bought by his great aunt? Loves it. There's a lesson there somewhere...

sitandnatter · 27/12/2011 07:06

Well we survived it remarkably intact this year, the run up was hell, he wasn't going to co-operate, wasn't going to relations (no choice), getting agonised because he couldn't decide what he wanted. In the end the day went really well. On Christmas Eve my son was so bad I phoned my brother to warn him to expect a meltdown and how I'd remove my son rather than upset everyone, little git ended up really enjoying himself with his cousins but the two weeks before were sheer hell and angst for him and by default me too.

Pixel · 27/12/2011 19:38

Ds (11) wouldn't have anything to do with opening presents, as usual, just sloped off to his room for the morning. We went to my mum's for lunchtime and he was ok while we ate (mum had made a big effort to get things he likes and the rest of the family are much more understanding about autism nowadays) but after that he'd just had enough. He wouldn't settle, sat out in the hallway by the front door for ages clutching his shoes and at one point we realised he'd gone and he'd escaped out of the back door and was waiting by the car! Luckily there was very little traffic so he was ok but we gave in and went home early. I was looking forward to a nice relaxing evening with the family but we had to leave them all to it.

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