Feel like crap

[Anoah]

I feel so bad. My DS age 5 is somewhat speech delayed and has some autistic behavior. We think its something called semantic pragmatic language disorder. His speech is improving but he uses language in a strange way and he can't answer questions very well. He has no friends and is undergoing all kinds of assesments.

My DD just turned 3. Occasionally we get 2-3 word sentences from her but her speech is no where near what it should be. I am her mum and can't really understand her. She seems behind with other things as well, yet ahead in others. I have been up the HV's arse for 3 months trying to get her assesed, hearing tested, and referred to speech therapy. I think they are sick of me.

DS age 9 months seems okay so far. But my other 2 hit all of their developmental milestones early until age 2 then it all fell apart.

What is going on with my kids? With both my pregancies I was nauseous and sick constantly and couldn't take my pre-natal vitamins or keep a lot of food down. Its looking like both of my kids are special needs and I want to know if that is why. I know I should be happy that they are healthy, and that there are so many worse off so I should just suck it up. I just feel like I am in the middle of a nightmare. I feel like crap mother of the year. Oh and I used to smoke before I got pregnant. DH says it is all my fault as I damaged my eggs or something. Great huh?

Sorry, just needed to get that out.

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That is what this forum is for. Dont even think about it being your fault..no one is to blame. My ds has really severe disabilities, both physical and mental, and i spent a long time wondering if it was the stressful job i did, or whether it was because i spray painted my other ds radiater in his bedroom when i was about 20wks...but i think i have just accepted now that it was going to happen whether or not. i work with mums who use heroin all the way through and their babies are ok, its just not fair is it.
was your dh serious when he said that? its not a helpful attitude and it must have been really hurtful, i am sure that their are a few mums on her with two kids with sn.

Your dh isn't being very helpful. I think everyone goes through a phase of questioning themselves but don't let it upset you.
My 7 year old has autism and my four year old is awaiting diagnosis. We think spd as well but my area does not recognise it as a diagnosis.

Has your dd had any referrals yet?

How many people do all those things and worse and their kids are fine? I reckon I'd tell him a few things about his rubbish sperm I agree with giddy, forget HV and go to GP, read or print out your first post and tell the GP what you've told us. And DON'T let anyone say its your parenting, your inability to cope etc. Good luck.

Your husband has a bloody cheek blaming you. It goes without saying that he should apologise for these awful remarks.

I would also forget the HV and get along to your doctor's surgery asap. The GP can and should refer your children to a developmental paediatrician.

Do not be fobbed off - you are your childrens' best advocate.

hI
I would really PUSH to get her ears tested if only to rule it out. as some one said bypass the HV and go to your gp.
Don't blame yourself. I did that for ages it was only when I was sitting in a barristers office 10 years later I finally stopped. These things happen.

Yeah....It's my fault that Amelia has DS too!! FGS, why does anyone need to be to blame here. Please don't put yourself under even more pressure.

I can't help with the referrals, DX's...etc, but as something positive have you thought about alternative method of communication. Amelia (4) has significantly delayed speech ( among other things) but we have been using sign since she was a baby. It has eased the pressure off of her speech delays a bit because she can still communicate. Others may be able to fill you in on things like PECS.

Sorry I may be going off at tangents completely but just wanted to offer you something positive!