My 7 yr old son ASD was puched twice today by a downs syndrome man, who do i need to speak to ??

[logi]

Today whilst out shopping as title says my ds was punched twice in the head by this guy and he was out with a carer.....i did lose it and im still extremely angry and sad for my little boy.

He was around my son for 10-15 mins with his aggression building and carer did/could not take him away.

My son was outside the shop with my daughter (24) her dd 3 and 2 of my other granddaughters 2 and 4 the 2 year old was crying.

The carer came up to me AFTER phoning another carer (who was near by as she came within 10 mins) and i think they should have probably both been caring for this man,and tells me the 2 yr old crying triggered his intial anger then my sons refusal to high 5 him or shake his hand (my son doesnt like physical contact) ....also the man had said something about stopping the baby crying and my son said "thats not nice to say that"

sorry if this isnt making sense trying to give a pic of situation.....well police came which the sirens scared the life out of my son and took details but i was told my son stuck his tongue out ..which he didnt but so what anyway and was told not much can be done and social services would be coming to see ME ...

anyway i cant sleep thinking how scared my son was and how disgusting that a man who can be triggered this way with kids crying is taken to a busy town centre full of children christmas shopping ...............

oh and i forgot when i was shouting at the woman about her making NO EFFORT to restrain him she said "im not allowed"

If this all took between 10 and 15 mins and the man was visibly getting more agitated why didn't you or your daughter remove your son from the situation? Surely your daughter noticed that the crying baby was upsetting him, why didn't you walk away?

Difficult situation really I can see both sides having been a carer to adults and having SN kids myself. Personally I would've moved my kids out the way but I don't know the situation so this may not have been possible for whatever reason. The man has every right to go into town just as we do however he must have the right support which clearly he did not and for a 7 yr old to be punched by a man with or without SN isn't acceptable. I do hope your boy is ok and I'm not quite sure what ss will do to be honest.

As others have said, you need to report it for everyone's sake. The adult with Downs was inadequately supervised and that needs to change immediately.
Whether or not your son did or didn't do anything in irrelevant, he should not have been struck.

the thing is, he clearly isnt safe with only one staff memember and the staff should (and properly do) know this. What if he had hit an adult, or a child of an adult that wouldnt think twice about punching him?!
I would report it to the police, they will be able to trace him and then atleast the head of the staff would be well informed.

The man is entitled to go into town just like everyone else. What amazes me is that he was taken into town and he cannot be restrained or guided away and with only one carer.

I am suspicious by nature and I wonder since the other carer was only 10 mins away maybe there were two originally and one sneaked off to do some shopping??

I would report it and make a point that you want to know why this poor man only had one carer available.

I hope your son is ok after his ordeal bless him.

Wise words coff33pot why wasn't he adequately supervised. This really upsets me and gives a bad name to adults with LD. My DS with Down Syndrome is a beautiful man,kind and thoughtful.
Sorry logi your son was subjected to this........it was lack of supervision, hope he wasn't too frightened and he is OK Please tell him not all LD's are like that

Sorry about your DS being hurt. I think you have done the right thing reporting it,it could happen again,but hopefully the carers will learn from this and it won't.
I went swimming with my son (aged 4 and ASD) a few months ago and I was punched in the face,knocked my glasses off,by a child of about 10. The boy just launched himself at me, and i was quite shaken. He was with a guy,who was mortified that I had been thumped and was most apologetic, I think he was a carer. I asked if the child was ASD/ADHD and he said yes. Now I let that go, but did wonder if he'd attacked someone else who didn't have an ASD child, what would have happened. It nearly knocked me off my feet,so if he'd hit a younger child/older person it could have been much worse.

Hi ...

I was in shop so intially unaware of what was going on.........daughter was with my son ASD tried to get him to come in shop to find me but he wouldnt move (dont like crowded shop hence why outside in first place).....

2 yr old was in pram ...3 yr old was in pram so unable to push both prams ....and 4 yr old she was unable to move to get help as it meant leaving kids ......she was also scared as she said he was directing all anger at my ds although it was the 2 yr old screaming first......................

I am not implying he shouldnt be allowed in town but questioning whose benefit was town for him or carers as he since been told crying,sudden ,,loud noises trigger his anger so surely the timing christmas..fair rides and kids off school is not the time to take him......as i dont take my son certain places that would trigger his meltdowns.

I did wonder if two carers should have stayed with him but been told no .....that he has never hit a child before but where he stays he does push ,shout and make threats so in my mind this is aggressive behaviour.

Police came on scene as lots of people around shop keeper called police................

I have tried to explain to my son about the man but he doesnt "get" it and says i should have known there was a man with downs syn. in town ................also keeps saying man was mad because i licked my lips i didnt mean it (he does this when anxious and touches his nose )..........

He is also saying "i dont mind being hit" :(

Had that been a newborn baby crying that he punched in the head this could be a different situation ...

I was also told today because the man kept doing thumbs up and shouting at my son and my son did thumbs down this may have been what made him hit as thumbs down for him means bad ...

Of course i realise this is his carers/and whoever else in charge of him responsiblity my concerns at present are with my son who suffers with anxiety and how this may set him back :(

zzzz i totally agree and will not let this drop....the situation could of become much worse as 2 men started shouting my daughter tells me they were getting involved although i heard shouting my head was in a panic and i was very angry with the carer.

I did say im going to press charges...police said it wont go anywhere but i will still be doing it.

You need to inform the social services. I fucking guarantee that if the 'other carer' was only a fewminutes away, then the man with Down's syndrome should have had both of them with him. He was not having his care needs met, and therefore he was unable to cope socially.

Saying that, if this sort of thing started happening with Ds1 (Also ASD and ADHD) I'd move him away.

Have been speaking to various people today and expecting call tomorrow .............my daughter could not move children as two buggies and toddler and my ds refusing to move .....she was afraid of triggering my son off and making situation worse ...she tried to keep calm which was all she could do.

She was a few mins away but i questioned this today and was told he is one on one

what would have happened if your son did a runner? (he may not be a runner, but to be honest, if you are complaining that the adult with downs syndrome was under-supervised the same could be said of your son if the sole carer had two buggies and a child with asd to deal with in a crowded shopping centre at christmas?)

just playing devil's advocate really - it was obviously awful all round, but i do think the obvious answer would have been to move ds away quickly and safely, which she was unable to do. so neither child nor adult with considerable sn was really in the right place. and the behaviours of each one contributed to the outcome.

definitely keep on with the reporting etc, physical attack is never okay, but it's just really sad all round.

i hope ds manages to relax and not let it overshadow christmas x

My son is not a runner never has been quite the opposite hence why he wouldnt move and was supervised properly by my daughter she was stood in front of him babies strapped in pram and very obidient 4 yr old,

as i stated she could not move him as unsupervised man (carer kept walking away to try and lead him to follow) could have attacked younger children ......i would/do not put my son at risk in anyway i know him ......my son was in right place as busy shop wasnt right place .

So in my opinion adult with sn was not being supervised and i will be following through complaint.

Some parents have 5,6,7 children and they would also be more difficult to watch but they shouldnt be at risk in a public place.

No one should be at risk in a public place. Both your son and the man were put at risk due to lack of care from the mans carer/carers.

The man was putting his thumbs up.......then it would be easy for the carer to tell your daughter he is trying to ask for assurance that its all going to be ok and to respond with a thumbs up in a friendly manner that could well have quelled the mans fears and he may well have walked away willingly being satisfied that he was safe. He was in an awful situation to him, afraid of noise and in a state. The carer was crap and I feel sorry for this man and your poor son who bore the brunt of the carers inexperience.

I would complain to social services to investigate. This could well have been a first aggressive move from this man but I doubt it and still think he had two carers and the other had gone off. Otherwise if she was in town acting as a carer surely she would have had her own person she was caring for?

Two benefits of complaining that I see are that this man will hopefully get the protection he needs and you could also reasure your son that this is the case as if this had happened to mine he would be very anxious about waiting anywhere in town again for a while. :)

Hi coff33pot,

i agree both my son and man were at risk as member of public got angry with man......

My daughter did put thumbs up but man wanted my son to do and wasnt taking no for an answer..

Other carer turned up and ive spoken to woman responsible for care of man and she admits he has pushed shouted in home he stays but said he only needs one on one care although his care needs are to be reassessed now and where he will be taken in future regarding busy places .