Could it really be Aspergers?

[redwill]

I posted on 'behaviour' about my DS and someone suggested I post here as quite a ot of you will know more about this kind of stuff, a few people have suggested Aspergers which I feel a bit shocked by, but having read the symptoms he ticks so many of the boxes.

lI am at rock bottome with my 3 year old boy (middle child - two sisters). He was born 'angry' he constantly cried as a baby, didn't sleep for his first year, and has been a dreadful toddler. Tantrums over everything and only understanding what he wants. Reward charts dont' work because he doesn't understand 'if you......then this is the consequence' (positive or negative) He wines (or whines?) cries, shouts and says no any time ANY adult asks something of him. I'm a teacher , so not completely clueless, but I've tried everything and I feel like I've nothing left to give. DH and I have done parenting course to no avail. I've been to drs twice suggesting ADHD or similar and she says no because he can sit and focus but also there is no inbetween Health visitor and refferal . I'm desperate to talk to an expert about him (not health visitor - been there done that) but I don't know where to find one!!!Please help me I'm really at the end of my tether and he affects the whole family....I don't know how ican carry on like this.

Definitely could be Aspergers.

He needs to be seen by a child development paedetirican.

A gp isn't qualified to dx Aspergers of ADHD (kids with ADHD can sit and focus) - so you need to go back there and push for a referral.

Is the doctor refusing to refer? If so I'd either go to another doctor or do lots of research so I could go back with a list of things that 3-year-olds should "get" that he doesn't "get".

I noticed this:

"Reward charts dont' work because he doesn't understand 'if you......then this is the consequence' (positive or negative)"

have you now dropped this technique completely? I would. I'd move back to an insistent "First X then Y" strategy, backed by visuals.

I'd start reading up on Aspergers. Try not to obsess about the "has he or hasn't he?" question. The real point of the materials is to give you all sorts of tips about how figure out what your child isn't grasping - so you can start working at the right level.

Thank you

Fwiw redhill my dd has ADHD and she can sit and focus beautifully when she's colouring or playing her ds! Just not when its something she doesn't want to do :)

I would start keeping a diary, so that when you go to the GP or get a referral you will have evidence to back up what you are saying.

Write down all incidences of challenging/unusual behaviour, what caused it[if you know] and how you dealt with it.

This will show that you are dealing with him consistantly [so they can't blame your parenting] and also how often you are having issiues.

I would also start using visuals with him. Get some MAKATON symbols such as "Stop" and "Wait" and "Good Listening" and see if he responds to those.

We use a red and yellow card like the footballers to let Dd3 know that her behaviour is not acceptable.

good luck.

DS2 has ADHD as well, and he seems to "hyperfocus" to the point where he completely shuts other things (and people) out. Although, to be fair, he has AS as well, so there's a bit of a crossover there.

omg sounds like my one. I am so struggling to work out whats going on too!

p.s i thought with aspergers the child would not like socilising, is this true? I didnt realise adhd could have children who could concentrate either. Its like my daughter doesnt tick all the boxes so in one session they said no to autism and adhd but i feel there is something i just dont know what the hell it is ;(

There is an awful lot of overlap between ASD, ADHD and Dyspraxia.

Normally it doesn't matter too much which dx you get.

Also, lots of professionals get it wrong, and it can take years and lots of professionals to get a dx.

I agree with IndigoBell. It often doesn't matter what the dx is, just that SNs are noted. Every child is different, and really you have to support them based on their needs, not on their dx.

SNAP!!!! im in the same position at the mo,redwil you ds sounds like mine,my ds was dx with adhd,he can sometimes focus tho,but his anger is unbelievable....he hit me in the face 5 times on fri nite!! and that was because his friend sat on his chair,
i went back to my gp and asked to be re-referred,he said no! so i stood my ground and told him to refer me or call security as im not moving,my son is violent and i just cant cope....he sat there looking at me,and then referred me...that was 2 weeks ago,and my appointment came threw yesterday,i see the pead in feb,i think he is aspergers,
i know ODD has been mentioned to me to,x